Don't make jokes about food.


David Lean

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Jay Leno told me once, 'Don't do jokes about things you don't know about.'
BILL ENGVALL
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS
I don't do politics, I don't do religion, I don't do ethnic jokes.
BILL ENGVALL
I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh beca...
PAULA DEEN
I can't imagine David Lean justifying why he went to the desert to shoot 'Lawrence of Arabia...
ALEJANDRO GONZALEZ INARRITU
I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.
CALVIN TRILLIN
I don't know about you, but I can never get enough David Letterman.
BARBARA WALTERS
I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
MARILYN MONROE
I tend to lean toward strong female stories. I want to make things that don't already exist out ...
NATALIE PORTMAN
I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. ...
MITT ROMNEY
A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
EUGENE IONESCO
Thinking about the cold weather in England... Don't be afraid to rock the David Niven look.
MIKE D
I don't blame David Stern because a player gets on the court and he doesn't put out competit...
OSCAR ROBERTSON
Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jo...
LEWIS BLACK
Most fast food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat as...
ERIC SCHLOSSER
Don't make an opinion on me if you don't know nothin' about me.
LIL WAYNE
'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage ...
JAMES MCAVOY
People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It&#...
DOLLY PARTON
I don't believe in twisting yourself into knots of excuses and explanations over the food you ma...
JULIA CHILD
I don't like French food. I like everything but French food.
EMMANUELLE SEIGNER
Food is celebratory. People who don't cook don't know how much fun they're missing.
LEO BUSCAGLIA
I don't make romantic films. I make films about human relationships.
YASH CHOPRA
I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'
STEVEN WRIGHT
I don't know if you call a burger 'recession food.' It's comfort food.
MICHAEL MINA
He says to us: They don't really do anything. Then he adds: But of course there is not a lot for the...
LYDIA DAVIS
I don't think I've ever read a food piece or a food book.
CALVIN TRILLIN
The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky...
TOM LEHRER
I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite ci...
SHERILYN FENN
I don't eat fast food, but I can't live without pizza.
TREVOR DONOVAN
I don't enjoy traveling in America. I don't like the food, the cars. It is not exotic enough...
CARLA BLEY
I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, ...
STEVEN WRIGHT
I don't do this for the money, I don't do it for record sales, I don't really care about...
DAVID GUETTA
Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jo...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA
I know some of you don't care about food stamps, but I'm telling you if it feeds children, y...
ROBERT J. BENTLEY
I don't read the magazines that make things up about people. I know what the truth is. I don'...
ASHTON KUTCHER
I think there are brilliant jokes to be made about abortion, and we should be able to talk about thi...
CAITLIN MORAN
If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids ...
MARIO BATALI
That's how I judge a quarterback: Either you make plays or you don't. I don't even want ...
FRAN TARKENTON
I don't eat fast food often, but I love tacos. I could write prophetically about how perfect the...
KEN BAUMANN
I don't enjoy good food. I don't enjoy flashy cars. I don't care if I live in a dump. I ...
JACK KEVORKIAN
It's fun to look at people that are so good at acting that aren't actors, like David Bowie c...
VAL KILMER
I like food. I like eating. And I don't want to deprive myself of good food.
SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR
I don't think of my songs as sad songs. I think of them as vulnerable and honest. I crack jokes ...
MARY LAMBERT
I don't always buy organic food. It is more expensive.
ALEXANDRA PAUL
You don't need a silver fork to eat good food.
PAUL PRUDHOMME
I don't categorize food as bad or a guilty pleasure.
RACHAEL RAY
Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food.
CALVIN TRILLIN
If you're just safe about the choices you make, you don't grow.
HEATH LEDGER
You get those hunger pains. 'I am so hungry. We don't have any food. What are we going to ea...
BEN MCLEMORE
Did I ever think about TV stardom? I don't watch a lot of TV. I wasn't even aware of the phe...
GUY FIERI
In 2004, the FDA urged drug companies to adopt a 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy with respect to thei...
IRVING KIRSCH
Be happy. Don't make a Vine about, like, something not that happy.
NASH GRIER
I don't care at all about the mainstream; I don't care about popularity contests; I don'...
PHIL ANSELMO
People always comment about my clothes. They don't think a fashionable woman can love food and b...
PADMA LAKSHMI
When the vision is clear, the results will appear. Keep your mindset positive as you work your plan,...
GERMANY KENT
I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't know a lot about ...
BILLY JOEL
Don't be afraid to make a mistake. But make sure you don't make the same mistake twice.
AKIO MORITA
If two wrongs don't make a right, then what do three wrongs make? What about four?
BUZZ OSBORNE
With our lives and food chain set up to make us fat - I mean, you can't drive down any highway i...
DAVID ZINCZENKO
I don't ever want to be perfect,
Cause I'm a singer that you
Never want to see shirtless
ED SHEERAN
The extremes of who I'd love to be onstage are David Bowie, Prince, and, I don't know, Bjork...
MIGUEL
If you are just safe about the choices you make, you don't grow.
HEATH LEDGER
I don't find it a struggle to maintain a healthy diet now as my palate has changed. I don't ...
JENNIFER ELLISON
My favorite moments are the moments everyone cries over. I see people in the audience crying, and I ...
DOUGLAS CARTER BEANE
If you don't like airline food, you'll probably have the same impression of space station fo...
CHRIS HADFIELD
We spend money we don't have, on things we don't need, to make impressions that don't ma...
TIM JACKSON
When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was...
PAUL MERTON
Scales always lie. They don't make a scale that ever told the truth about value, about worth, ab...
ANN VOSKAMP
When you go through a negative situation, don't think about it. Make it positive.
YOKO ONO
I am in the fighting game. I don't care about anything else. I don't watch the news, I don&#...
CONOR MCGREGOR
I don't make unconventional stories; I don't make non-linear stories. I like linear storytel...
STEVEN SPIELBERG
For me, it's all about moderation. I don't kick things out of my diet, like carbs. But I'...
BOBBY FLAY
I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on ...
ASHLEY BENSON
I love tiny, plastic realistic food magnets. I don't know why. They're hilarious.
AMY LEE
I'm a healthy eater, but I don't consider Chick-fil-A fast food.
KEHLANI
Food is a weapon - a very effective weapon. People don't cultivate, don't farm, you cut the ...
TOM CATENA
I don't make political work. I don't make work that criticises the state. I make as human wo...
GARY HUME
There are writers whose first drafts are so lean, so skimpy, that they must go back and add words, s...
NANCY KRESS
I don't feel comfortable talking about my private life, and some people in my private life don&#...
GINA MCKEE
I am not much about rules, I like to break 'em and don't like to make 'em.
CARSON KRESSLEY
I don't make deals, I make pictures.
CARLO PONTI
Artists don't make objects. Artists make mythologies.
ANISH KAPOOR
People complain that cities don't have fresh, sustainable food, but it's just not true.
DAN BARBER
I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't drink coffee. Starbucks is not going to make any m...
MICKEY ROONEY
I don't have any illusions that what we are doing is sticking the the bottle. I don't think ...
HILARY ROSEN
I don't want to do stories that don't have a heart. I'm just not going to be satisfied w...
AARON HUEY
I don't think there's going to be a day when I don't think about food or my body, but I&...
DEMI LOVATO
Real Democrats don't make promises they can't keep.
HOWARD DEAN
Don't try to be the next Rachael Ray or Bobby Flay, we already have those people. We want someon...
BOBBY FLAY
People come up to me all the time and say, 'Oh, I love to watch Food Network,' and I ask the...
MICHAEL SYMON
Growing up, I was discouraged from telling personal stories. My dad often used the phrase 'Don&#...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA
Parents don't make mistakes because they don't care, but because they care so deeply.
T. BERRY BRAZELTON
I don't really do playlists. I don't know how to make a playlist, honestly.
ACTION BRONSON
I love hard; I love who I love, and I don't make any qualms about it.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN
I don't want to make public statements about issues that I have not studied in detail.
ERIC MASKIN
The most important thing about power is to make sure you don't have to use it.
EDWIN LAND
Insurance companies don't make anything.
JAMES DYSON
I don't make any money.
BILL WYMAN
You can't just yell jokes at people.
DAVID CROSS
I don't know what any of my songs are about. I don't sit down to write about anything. They&...
LIAM GALLAGHER

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If you're a reporter, the easiest thing in the world is to get a story. The hardest thing is to ...
DAVID HALBERSTAM
I'm a good person, I hope. But I'm never as good as I want to be, never as nice as I want to...
DAVID TENNANT
I checked out all types of tobacco trying to find one that would be easiest to live with, I ended up...
DAVID STRATHAIRN
A poet could write volumes about diners, because they're so beautiful. They're brightly lit,...
DAVID LYNCH
Smoking calms me down. It's enjoyable. I don't want politicians deciding what is exciting in...
DAVID HOCKNEY
It is not contrary to reason to prefer the destruction of the whole world to the scratching of my fi...
DAVID HUME
Lion sounds that have not grown from the mouse may exude naked power... but cannot convey any wisdom...
DAVID WHYTE
The rules of morality are not the conclusion of our reason.
DAVID HUME
Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper.
DAVID HILBERT
But Dr. Smith says, and I believe it to be a true state of the case, that he himself gave a course o...
DAVID RITTENHOUSE
I played hockey in the winter, and then I would play golf in the summer. But I always knew I'd b...
DAVID HEARN
Enjoyment of the landscape is a thrill.
DAVID HOCKNEY
Through the years I've been getting better and better and better, and it's what you learn th...
DAVID ORTIZ
'The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, b...
DAVID CHASE
I am more weary of life, I think, than ever I was.
DAVID BRAINERD
The important thing is for the characters to feel real, and to be given the humanity they are due. T...
DAVID LEVITHAN
You can't take a knife on a plane anymore, but you can get on carrying a virus.
DAVID QUAMMEN
Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a wo...
LARRY DAVID
When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the street...
LARRY DAVID
I'm a walking, talking enigma.
LARRY DAVID
I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and le...
LARRY DAVID
I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed.
LARRY DAVID
When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these ...
LARRY DAVID
My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.
LARRY DAVID
I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, ...
LARRY DAVID
It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.
LARRY DAVID
In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as ser...
LARRY DAVID
I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
LARRY DAVID
If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
LARRY DAVID
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's lik...
LARRY DAVID
I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
LARRY DAVID