Don't give advice. It will come back and bite you in the [butt]. Don't take anyone's advice. So, my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.
Ellen DeGeneres
Related Lots of people will give you advice... and depending upon how well they know you, the advice might b... ABAGAIL JOHNSON Lots of people will give you advice... and depending upon how well they know you, the advice might b... ABIGAIL JOHNSON Bad advice will blind you, good advice will instruct you, excellent advice will enlighten you, and t... MATSHONA DHLIWAYO get advice but not all the advice will benefit you , judge before you use the advice be it who gave ... FELIX OMWENGA You want my advice? Well, here it is. Don't take no advice and don't give none neither. R.J. LAWRENCE Be yourself is the worst advice you can give to some people. TOM MASSON Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give to some people. J. B. PRIESTLEY Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give to some people. THOMAS L. MASSON Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give to some people. THOMAS L. MASSON Let go of the mistakes and the sins of others. You'll have plenty of time to make your own mistakes,... C. JOYBELL C. When you give, you will be blessed. When you give, it will be given back to you. CRAIG GROESCHEL My advice would be to never give up on yourself and always believe. DANTE HALL So if you are confused, please remember – don’t help anybody, because your help is going to be p... OSHO Don't lie to yourself? SONYA.E.WILLIAMS Here's some simple advice: Always be yourself. Never take yourself to seriously. And beware of advic... JIM HENSON Listen to advice and accept correction, then in the end you will be wise. PROVERB It's good advice, but I expect it will be hard to follow; good advice is apt to be, I think. L.M. MONTGOMERY My advice to new actors is: Don't be lazy. Go after what you desire. Don't heed the commonpl... JUDITH HOAG Stay true to yourself.Take everyday challenge in your stride & strive to make journey of life exactl... DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Be true to yourself.Give wings of confidence & courage to your endeavour. Your strength is reflected... DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Be the girl you want your daughter to be. Be the girl you want your son to date. Be classy, be smart... GERMANY KENT Sometimes you step in to give someone advice and they think you’re telling them what to do. Then y... KAORU SHINMON The most important advice you can give anyone about to appear on TV is incredibly prosaic - be yours... DAVID FROST The advice I would give to someone is to not take anyone's advice. EDDIE MURPHY But, I've learned, as we all must, that adults are jerks too. At least some of them. And that's why ... CLINTON KELLY Life will teach or beat you all you need to know. My advice; take the compassionate class and peacef... RASHEED OGUNLARU Whatever advice you give, be short. HORACE Whatever advice you give, be brief. HORACE Be true to yourself, stay focused and stay you, take advice from other folks, use what you can, but ... MUSIQ SOULCHILD If you wish to spare yourself and your venerable family, give heed to my advice with the ear of inte... HULAGU KHAN If I had to give one piece of advice to incoming college freshmen, I'd say always be true to yoursel... BEVERLEY MITCHELL If I had to give one piece of advice to incoming college freshmen, I'd say always be true to yoursel... BEVERLY MITCHELL If you could be you 10 years from now, what advice would you give yourself today? VALERIE ROSE STERRETT Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. MARCUS TULLIUS CICERO Be careful who you take advice from. People love when you fall for deception. Only a true friend wil... TROY GATHERS The single best piece of advice I give to aspiring writers is to always write about things that they... D. J. MACHALE My advice to young actors is to push yourself and to aspire to be great. ADRIANE LENOX Advice, First Law of: The correct advice to give is the advice
that is desired. PAUL DICKSON Poetry is simple when you write what you see and feel, searching for the words only makes it difficu... RAYVON L. BROWNE Begin. Keep on beginning. Nibble on everything. Take a hike. Teach yourself to whistle. Lie. ELLEN KORT If you never take advice, you will never have anyone to blame things on. VIKRANT PARSAI There is no advice that I can give you, you will just have to trust yourself that when the time come... CECELIA AHERN Give me some good advice and I promise you that I will not follow it. VIKRANT PARSAI So take my advice: whatever you do? Don’t blink MEG CABOT I hope in the end, you do what makes you happy. Don't let fear control your next move. NELLIE CHRISTINE If I had to give one piece of advice to incoming college freshmen, I'd say always be true to you... BEVERLEY MITCHELL It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is fatal. OSCAR WILDE It's hard to give advice. There are so many people, how do you give major advice to a group of p... VIDAL SASSOON My best advice is to be yourself. Unless you’re psychotic, then you might want to try a different ... GWEN HAYES When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or ... AMIT KALANTRI I could not sit seriously down to write a serious Romance under any other motive than to save my lif... JANE AUSTEN It seems that bad advice that's fun will always be better known than than good advice that's dull-no... SCOTT BERKUN It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal. OSCAR WILDE It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal OSCAR WILDE It seems like he used to give advice, but now he doesn't give advice as he does try to put you down. BUCKY COVINGTON I never give advice unless someone asks me for it. One thing I've learned, and possibly the only... TAYLOR SWIFT When the boys come with the intention of hurting you, my advice will always stay the same, my d... CAITLYN SIEHL All world conflicts will be resolved if people listen to my advice. MAHARISHI MAHESH YOGI Don’t give me advice. I would rather take money than advice. VIKRANT PARSAI Be warned against all 'good' advice because 'good' advice is necessarily 'safe' advice, and though i... JULES FEIFFER I wouldn't give myself any advice, because advice is kinda bullshit. Take a deep breath and don't ta... CHER This sport is the sport to see what you are made of, so use those expert's advice, but be free to be... BILL RODGERS We hope that it will encourage the grooms to come out and take part in the wedding. it will give the... FLORENCE BELCHER The advice I've been giving to people all my life - that you may not be interested in the dialec... CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS That's because the South African way of doing it is to give yourself advice. WIELAND GEVERS I guess my music career is my personal life. You know, I've always been a writer who wants to wr... JASON MRAZ It is not unprofessional to give free legal advice, but advertising that the first visit will be fre... WARREN E. BURGER Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostal... MARY SCHMICH Remember to afford yourself the same generosity you give to others. DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Be generous with your time and energy. The harder it is to give, the more the other p... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Recognise how much you have to give. DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Although happiness is a state of being, it usually still requires some doing if it is to b... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Commit to being happy and make the choices that will support your commitment. DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Be courageous in your decision-making. Stand by your choices and never look back. DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Don’t rely on the opinions of others. Only you will know what is right for you. DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Unless you have the courage to say ‘no’ to the things you don’t want, it’s ha... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Be honest with yourself. You can’t be the best you can be unless you know who you r... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI It’s easy to be brave when everything is going your way. When the going gets tough, DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI To be happy, you need to do the right thing for you, even when it feels like the hard... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Don’t take your happiness for granted. Be proactive about maintaining and sustaining it<... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI There is a big difference between being self-ist and being selfish— putting yourself fir... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI The only person who can take responsibility for your happiness is you. DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Being the best you can be takes courage. You need to own your decisions and have the ... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI The most important commitment you will ever make is to being the best you can be. DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Most people are fine with fine and okay with okay. If you want to be the best you can... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Very few changes in life are achieved without effort and a commitment to making that effor... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI When you decide to be the best you can be, don’t be surprised if the circle of people yo... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Live your life with courageous integrity. Do the right thing, not the easy thing. DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI If someone tries to undermine your commitment, re-evaluate your commitment to them. DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Identify your driving motivation and you will have all the encouragement you need. DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Give the people you love the best of yourself, not the worst. DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Sometimes being happy will require some difficult conversations. Some of those conversatio... DOMONIQUE BERTOLUCCI Who is most likely to bother about your happiness? You, yourself. So like yourself, love yourself, c... EVERSKEPTIC Be careful whose advice you heed to! LAILAH GIFTY AKITA My advice for girls who are waiting for their Prince Charming is to be open for anything. Be open to... LILY COLLINS Telling a story about something you know nothing about is like starting a new job without the traini... JOSHUA HARTZELL If you are working with authors, you are accepting a great responsibility and must tread very carefu... TERENA SCOTT people dont know you till they meet you. dont smile if you dont want to, dont be a false person, don... CAROLINA JANETTE GOMEZ GONZALEZ The only advice I can give you is what you're telling yourself. Only, maybe you're too scared to lis... NEIL GAIMAN True love is you. You cant love someone else if you dont love yourself.. Get to know yourself. NERISSA IRVING
More Ellen DeGeneres
I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we... ELLEN DEGENERES I would love for the world to be happier. ELLEN DEGENERES I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that's ever happened to me... ELLEN DEGENERES So many people prefer to live in drama because it's comfortable. It's like someone staying i... ELLEN DEGENERES If you're going to be honest with yourself, you have to admit that you go into show business wan... ELLEN DEGENERES The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think peop... ELLEN DEGENERES Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. ELLEN DEGENERES And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happe... ELLEN DEGENERES Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are. ELLEN DEGENERES The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens.... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I... ELLEN DEGENERES Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer. ELLEN DEGENERES I'm just saying we can all work on our manners. We can say please and thank you. We can be punctual.... ELLEN DEGENERES Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear a... ELLEN DEGENERES Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should reali... ELLEN DEGENERES It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves. ELLEN DEGENERES If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you. ELLEN DEGENERES If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birt... ELLEN DEGENERES You just have to keep driving down the road. It's going to bend and curve and you'll speed up and sl... ELLEN DEGENERES Haiku sounds like I'm Saying hi to someone named Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello. ELLEN DEGENERES Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes. Yes. No. One time in high school. ELLEN DEGENERES Contribute to the world. Help people. Help one person. Help someone cross the street today. Help som... ELLEN DEGENERES Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim thr... ELLEN DEGENERES The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yours... ELLEN DEGENERES So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless y... ELLEN DEGENERES Who's to say what's better or worse anyway? Who's to even say what's normal or average? We're all di... ELLEN DEGENERES Our flaws are what makes us human. If we can accept them as part of who we are, they really don't ev... ELLEN DEGENERES Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also ha... ELLEN DEGENERES Way, way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for brea... ELLEN DEGENERES I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clappin... ELLEN DEGENERES I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinions and... ELLEN DEGENERES It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success. ELLEN DEGENERES It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive. ELLEN DEGENERES Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neigh... ELLEN DEGENERES What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we ... ELLEN DEGENERES True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is ab... ELLEN DEGENERES Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system. ELLEN DEGENERES When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when... ELLEN DEGENERES My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the c... ELLEN DEGENERES Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if peo... ELLEN DEGENERES If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn't done anything? They should u... ELLEN DEGENERES I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful ... ELLEN DEGENERES You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She... ELLEN DEGENERES I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, So... ELLEN DEGENERES Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. ELLEN DEGENERES I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is c... ELLEN DEGENERES The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhar... ELLEN DEGENERES The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anyb... ELLEN DEGENERES People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. ELLEN DEGENERES The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the ... ELLEN DEGENERES People give me such a hard time because I don't wear dresses. What's that got to do with any... ELLEN DEGENERES My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and ... ELLEN DEGENERES Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find... ELLEN DEGENERES I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beauti... ELLEN DEGENERES I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just ... ELLEN DEGENERES We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity an... ELLEN DEGENERES Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log. ELLEN DEGENERES I think everybody should have the same anger towards the injustice that's happening and the hatr... ELLEN DEGENERES I have sadness in me. I have anger in me. I have heartbreak in me. ELLEN DEGENERES Whatever you define family as, family is just a part of belonging to something that takes care of yo... ELLEN DEGENERES We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to ... ELLEN DEGENERES I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness - and then the other 23 hours a... ELLEN DEGENERES If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one... ELLEN DEGENERES Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the w... ELLEN DEGENERES It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they... ELLEN DEGENERES Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it. ELLEN DEGENERES I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with. ELLEN DEGENERES We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two ... ELLEN DEGENERES I didn't grow up in a house - we moved a lot, and we always lived in apartments. But we looked a... ELLEN DEGENERES Right before I decided to come out, I went on a spiritual retreat called 'Changing the Inner Dia... ELLEN DEGENERES Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's j... ELLEN DEGENERES I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. ELLEN DEGENERES I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short... ELLEN DEGENERES I love kids. But that's such a big commitment. And it seems long-term. It seems like a commitmen... ELLEN DEGENERES I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about w... ELLEN DEGENERES I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do... ELLEN DEGENERES I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego. I believe we'r... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm not an activist; I don't look for controversy. I'm not a political person, but I'... ELLEN DEGENERES My father was a first reader in the Christian Science Church, which is similar to being a preacher. ... ELLEN DEGENERES I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy ... ELLEN DEGENERES Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've ... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James! ELLEN DEGENERES My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we d... ELLEN DEGENERES I do have ADD and in real life, I'm all over the place and can hardly focus. If we were talking ... ELLEN DEGENERES I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson's show. Only now I use it as a tabl... ELLEN DEGENERES You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an i... ELLEN DEGENERES When I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought, " When I grow up, I want to... ELLEN DEGENERES You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I thi... ELLEN DEGENERES What you look like on the outside is not what makes you cool at all. I mean, I had a mullet and wore... ELLEN DEGENERES I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe ... ELLEN DEGENERES The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain ... ELLEN DEGENERES Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm ... ELLEN DEGENERES The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on... ELLEN DEGENERES Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. B... ELLEN DEGENERES I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. For one thing, there's morning sickness. If I... ELLEN DEGENERES They say you just stand over there, he'll say thank you and you walk back off and that's what I thou... ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was s... ELLEN DEGENERES Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and ha... ELLEN DEGENERES Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off. ELLEN DEGENERES My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we d... ELLEN DEGENERES I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had ... ELLEN DEGENERES I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been ... ELLEN DEGENERES I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. I... ELLEN DEGENERES For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy... ELLEN DEGENERES I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but lo... ELLEN DEGENERES Life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if t... ELLEN DEGENERES Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most. ELLEN DEGENERES Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the wo... ELLEN DEGENERES People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going. ELLEN DEGENERES And we certainly don't have full conversations on cellphones. You know? Usually the reception is so ... ELLEN DEGENERES "I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. ... ELLEN DEGENERES I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is abo... ELLEN DEGENERES I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had... ELLEN DEGENERES its like picking your least favorite color of the rainbow ELLEN DEGENERES I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal - because I'... ELLEN DEGENERES Our egos tells us we're the only ones that have any kind of feelings. We're the only ones with a rel... ELLEN DEGENERES People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. ELLEN DEGENERES And be sure to look for me next month when I host the North Korean Peoples Choice Awards. ELLEN DEGENERES We've quit our agents, let go of our publicist. We're selling our house and leaving town. ELLEN DEGENERES Soap Talk. ELLEN DEGENERES There are a million people who are refugees, ... Life goes on, and if it didn't impact you directly,... ELLEN DEGENERES [I went to a] coffee shop here and the smallest coffee is a tall... "I need a coffee with a side of ... ELLEN DEGENERES I didn't want the Web site to be impersonal and I wanted to interact with people, ... The hammer and... ELLEN DEGENERES "Here's the analogy. If my body were a car, I'd be thinking about trading it in around now. I would ... ELLEN DEGENERES Oh she tripped?....Nooo, she's running. I thought she tripped but she's running. She stopped running... ELLEN DEGENERES Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on... ELLEN DEGENERES [Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eigh... ELLEN DEGENERES I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like... ELLEN DEGENERES I collect old portraits. They're all just interesting pictures of people, and you just kind of w... ELLEN DEGENERES Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw eve... ELLEN DEGENERES I do fantasize about having my own shop one day. ELLEN DEGENERES But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's g... ELLEN DEGENERES Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away. ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. The... ELLEN DEGENERES If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one... ELLEN DEGENERES ...if you want to add a little spice to your life, plant some dill. And learn to salsa. ELLEN DEGENERES I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian. ELLEN DEGENERES I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He's... ELLEN DEGENERES When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistaken... ELLEN DEGENERES Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.' Ellen: 'No, not unless y... ELLEN DEGENERES My aunt has lost everything, she has nothing. She grabbed four pictures out of her house. She's lost... ELLEN DEGENERES My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and th... ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastinate now, don't put it off. ELLEN DEGENERES "I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises." ELLEN DEGENERES "I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just lik... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet - to a fault, like, I-will-hurt-your-fe... ELLEN DEGENERES Hosting the Oscars is pretty much the scariest thing you can do. To me, this is right up there with ... ELLEN DEGENERES I would say 'no'! It's such a thankless job. If you do great, nobody mentions it. If you don't, ever... ELLEN DEGENERES I think I let go of the need for approval, ELLEN DEGENERES I think I let go of the need for approval, ... It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used t... ELLEN DEGENERES But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get o... ELLEN DEGENERES "I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, ... ELLEN DEGENERES The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincid... ELLEN DEGENERES "I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothepaste. I just want clean teeth that's all ... ELLEN DEGENERES Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called ... ELLEN DEGENERES You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me be... ELLEN DEGENERES The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and... ELLEN DEGENERES I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had... ELLEN DEGENERES Don't hold onto things, it will only bring you pain. ELLEN DEGENERES That's what life is all about. There's a lot of crying. So you'd better cry now and get used to it. ELLEN DEGENERES The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head. ELLEN DEGENERES I still get scared at night. Every tiny creak, every little noise, I open my eyes real wide and list... ELLEN DEGENERES [• Ellen DeGeneres , who was praised for her graceful performance as host of the Emmy Awards that ... ELLEN DEGENERES We'll go see some theater, and we'll hang out and do some stuff there. We'll go to clubs, ... Ellen ... ELLEN DEGENERES I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''... ELLEN DEGENERES I feel sorry for the newscasters you know? We can turn it off. But that's their job and they have to... ELLEN DEGENERES "I'm feeling so good. I feel like a million bucks. I'm focused, I'm alert, I'm zippy and top of my g... ELLEN DEGENERES Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not... ELLEN DEGENERES You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress. ELLEN DEGENERES "I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises." ELLEN DEGENERES I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, ... ELLEN DEGENERES Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that... ELLEN DEGENERES Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I... ELLEN DEGENERES It's definitely a heterosexual feeling, but it's directed at you. ELLEN DEGENERES Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old w... ELLEN DEGENERES I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from...... ELLEN DEGENERES Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up ... ELLEN DEGENERES The first house I bought was a little Spanish bungalow on Clinton Street in West Hollywood, right be... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave ... ELLEN DEGENERES It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school. ELLEN DEGENERES I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got re... ELLEN DEGENERES Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year... ELLEN DEGENERES Anne wrote it for me and directed, so I was stuck with it, ... We always got along. It's almost gros... ELLEN DEGENERES New Orleans is my hometown, and our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected. ELLEN DEGENERES I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my... ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There w... ELLEN DEGENERES I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I've started a record label, so I get to nurture new ... ELLEN DEGENERES I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day. ELLEN DEGENERES I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getti... ELLEN DEGENERES The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime... ELLEN DEGENERES Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses,... ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slo... ELLEN DEGENERES Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen ... ELLEN DEGENERES Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these d... ELLEN DEGENERES You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She... ELLEN DEGENERES I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's c... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the lov... ELLEN DEGENERES I say always follow your passion, no matter what, because even if it's not the same financial su... ELLEN DEGENERES There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would ... ELLEN DEGENERES