Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

There's some are fou o' love divine, There's some are fou' o' brandy.

Inspiring bold John Barleycorn, What dangers thou canst make us scorn! Wi' tippenny, we fear nae evil; Wi' usquebae, we'll face the devil!

Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.