End this pathetic deception! I know you're hiding martians in your head!! Gimme them martians! I am going to put butter on them!! Martians!! Grrr!!

I never killed anyone. I avoid going over that edge by writing about a guy who has taken a flying leap over it.

I happen to have a certain fondness for existing--soda wouldn't have that lovely fizzy feeling if you were dead. Think of all the things you would miss: Cartoons, music, movies, video games, music, art, fingernail growth, sex...well, perhaps not sex, depending on how weird your mortician is.

One day I will rule the world with a goat by my side!

I think there is something a little too self conscious about enjoying being an outsider.

Well, I just don’t want you to think that this piece of shit is anything other than a pathetic, human defect. Nothing more. Not a monster, not a bogeyman. Nothing but another reason to feel better about yourself. Understand that it’s just a person - not worth devoting any nightmares to.