FastSaying

Etiquette tip: More people will get out of your way if you say "I'm gonna puke!" than if you say "Excuse me".


Mark Twain

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If you want to meet Mark Twain, all you have to do is use your brain!
STEVE RAY COLLINS You've got a big, big problem if you get caught up in what people say. If you're gonna live for what...
AHMAD JAMAL If you hold a cat by the tail, you learn things you can't learn any other way.--Mark Twain
TONY-PAUL DE VISSAGE You've got a big, big problem if you get caught up in what people say. If you're gonna live ...
AHMAD JAMAL If you say you will lead a people to a new age then do it, but don't hide behind your laws as an exc...
DEAN IBERHYSAJ If you come out with an idea, people will say you are putting the cart before the horse. If you do a...
BILL BRAY Most chick singers say 'If you hurt me, I'll die'...I say, 'if you hurt me, I'll kick your ass.
PAT BENATAR If you got something to say, you should say it or it's just gonna tear you up inside.
MACGYVER An inexperienced official, if you get on him right after he blows a call he's gonna give you a 'T' (...
HUGH DURHAM LAW 4
Always Say Less Than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with wo...
ROBERT GREENE Mark Twain created a new type of literature and not a lot of people can say that. Not a lot of peopl...
VAL KILMER If it is your time love will track you down like a cruise missile. If you say 'No! I don't want it r...
LYNDA BARRY If you keep focusing on what people have to say or will say about you, you will lose focus of what G...
KEMI SOGUNLE ...I will exile my thoughts if they think of you again, and I will rip my lips out if they say your ...
KNUT HAMSUN If you say your God is bigger than mine, than you just show your religion in the name of God.
VIKRANT PARSAI If you say 'shit happens' I am just gonna have to say 'guess you're not toilet trained huh'.
PRABHUDOSS SAMUEL People always used to say to me, 'Don't you want your own show? That'd be so cool if you...
CANDY CROWLEY If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.
MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably...
ANONYMOUS Mark Twain had a way of telling stories that shifts your consciousness away from labels.
VAL KILMER I will be near you when you cry if just to say I sympathize and when it's more than you can take, I'...
MORTAL I see TV ads about detergents that can get blood stains out of your cloths. I say if you have blood ...
JERRY SEINFIELD As I say, you get labelled. To stop all that, I've got to win things - that's the only way y...
JAMIE REDKNAPP People say you must be pragmatic, more clinical. More pragmatic than me? I'm sorry.
PEP GUARDIOLA Didn't I say I'd always be your same stars? If you get to missing me, just look up.
ANNE RIVERS SIDDONS People say, 'You will be 30 years old; you're too old. You'll get your nose broke,' ...
KATIE TAYLOR Most chick singers say 'if you hurt me, I'll die'... I say, 'if you hurt me, I'l...
PAT BENATAR If you're convinced as an artist of what you're doing, the only move is to, no matter what p...
ZEDD If you disagree with something, it's easier to say 'you suck' than to figure out and explain exactly...
PAUL GRAHAM If your mind is clear as to what you are trying to do, if you can say what you want out of life and ...
MARI ADAM You really can't say that something will make you or break you. If you get into that, you're setting...
MARK MANGINO If you have something to say of any worth then people will listen to you.
OSCAR PETERSON Say "no" to corruption; it does not fit you! Say "no" to bad leadership; you don't fit there. Say "n...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest. If you have more trees than you have fore...
DAN QUAYLE It sounds cheesy, but if you are having fun, people will love your company, you will be more success...
NICK WOODMAN If you really want to do something you will find a way, and if you don't you will find an excuse -Ji...
JACOB KEESECKER If you wait, I will come for you...remembering your touch, your kiss, your warm embrace. I'll My fin...
TRACY CHAPMAN If you mess with dragons, you will get burned. Don’t say no one warned you.
RICHELLE E. GOODRICH If you nourish your hatred and your anger, you burn yourself. Understanding is the only way out. If ...
THICH NHAT HANH Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you s...
EVAN ESAR Here’s a professional tip: If you have to say you’re kidding, it might not be a great joke.
ELLEN DEGENERES The bottom line is, you will receive the same that you focus your mind on; with what you say and wha...
ADRIAN SANDVAER If you want to influence people, you want them to accept your suggestions, you don't say, 'Y...
RUTH BADER GINSBURG If You gonna knock Me down, knock Me dead. Because if I get up! It will be over for You!! "This is M...
PHILIP T.M Shhh. Just listen. You, of all people. Listen to what Im saying. This...tonight...is the most wonder...
JOJO MOYES You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.
HUNTER S. THOMPSON Psychology is as important as substance. If you treat people with respect, they will go out of their...
MOHAMED ELBARADEI We say to her, 'Seriously, people will think you are taking the mickey out of them if you say that w...
CATHERINE TATE You know those pills like Viagra, well they say that if you have an erection for more than 36 hours ...
CARLOS MENCIA I hate labels; the problem is that if you say you're one thing, it's hard for people to imag...
BILL FRISELL If your dream is a big dream, and if you want your life to work on the high level that you say you d...
JOYCE CHAPMAN If it is important to you, then you will find a way.
If not you'll find an excuse.
MEIR EZRA You are worth more than what people say or think of you.
OSCAR AULIQ-ICE That's what I want to invoke on them. This is bigger than them and it is sport and it's a chain of e...
RICK SAY They looked at the videotape because of Kali, but I guess they liked the other boys. Same thing happ...
WENDELL SAY Never use abstract nouns when concrete ones will do. If you mean “More people died” don’t say ...
C.S. LEWIS I'd much rather have the honesty than not. Because if you will say what's on your mind and g...
GARTH BROOKS Life is a helluva lot more fun if you say yes rather than no
RICHARD BRANSON If you think about your future more then you gonna miss the things in your present.
SANDEEP PRADHAN If thousand people say you can't, and you alone believe you can, you will make it happen! But if mil...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR You can't replace one dog with another any more than you can replace one person with another, but th...
POLLY HORVATH Pitchers did me a favor when they knocked me down. It made me more determined. I wouldn't let that p...
FRANK ROBINSON People always say that you can't please everybody. I think that's a cop-out. Why not attempt it? 'Ca...
KANYE WEST If you open your phone book, you'll get more information on people than you would get about our clie...
ANDY MACMILLAN It's a total lie to say there's only one person you're going to be with for the rest of your life. I...
RACHEL COHN It's only baby if you present it that way. If you say the color and texture will help them learn, th...
DEBRA CONNER I may be right if I say you were wrong. But you will be wrong if you say I was right
WOHI PURANA My father told me 'Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the pri...
DAVE CHAPPELLE If I only have ten minutes, Sam, this is what I want to say. You're not the best of us. You're more ...
MAGGIE STIEFVATER I think you've got to stay out of your own way. That's the worst thing that can happen to you if you...
CHAD CAMPBELL They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
ANTONIO PORCHIA People respond more to what you do than what you say.
MICHAEL B. KITSON You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.
HUNTER S. THOMPSON Because if I ever get nailed, I don’t want you running out to get the same medicine. Believe me, i...
HENRY V. O'NEIL If I die tomorrow, you aren't allowed to say my life was cut short at age 25. I did more in those ye...
ALISA MULLEN If the only prayer you say throughout your life is "Thank You," then that will be enough.
ELIE WIESEL If Someone judge by your looks & say "You are not beautiful" Just Smile Back them & Say "I have an A...
DINACE KUMAR C Etiquette tip: If you're looking for the right time to leave a party, when the host yells, "No one l...
RICK RIORDAN There's no way you can say it's more dangerous than boxing.
DR. MARGARET GOODMAN Only if i suffer to win your Heart will i value your love for me, so its good you come down hard on ...
STEPHEN .R. ANYAEGBU Some say if you want success surround yourself with successful people. I say if you want true and la...
CHARLES F. GLASSMAN Today I learned a very valuable lesson: Children are much more aware of what is going on in their he...
STACY MADDOX I'm gonna tell you a really great advice. If you can't say how you feel.. If you don't know how it g...
IMMEE LIRKIE If you tell people, 'that old banger of yours, we're going to tax the hell out of it,' t...
ZAC GOLDSMITH If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you. And then curtsy. No, don’t curtsy. That might ...
ELLEN DEGENERES Tell him yes. Even if you are dying of fear, even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do, y...
GABRIEL GARCíA MáRQUEZ I'm gonna be sick," I said
"I'm ordering you not to," says Obi.
"Ah, don't say that," says...
SUSAN EE Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-hab...
ERNEST HEMINGWAY The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh...
MARK TWAIN To get someone's attention
say three words with compassion.
Say "I love you", more than me...
DEBASISH MRIDHA If you're gonna buy me a present, don't spend more than twenty five bucks, you'll get a blowjob anyw...
GERARD WAY If you are committed you will find solution of any problem,if not committed, you will find an excuse...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA But they say if you dream a thing more than once, it's sure to come true.
WALT DISNEY COMPANY If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.
MEISTER ECKHART If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is 'thank you', it will be enough.
MEISTER ECKHART Learn to say No to customers out of your target, those in your target will learn to say Yes to you.
MOHAMED GHULOOM Take it for a second", "I will come in shortly", after all this is a lie to get out, if you ask me I...
DEYTH BANGER Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.
LEMONY SNICKET Pitchers did me a favor when they knocked me down. It made me more determined. I wouldn't let th...
FRANK ROBINSON If you will please people, you must please them in your own way.
LORD CHESTERFIELD

More Mark Twain

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
MARK TWAIN My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
MARK TWAIN It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha...
MARK TWAIN The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
MARK TWAIN India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ...
MARK TWAIN Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
MARK TWAIN I never let schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
MARK TWAIN Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
MARK TWAIN The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig...
MARK TWAIN There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
MARK TWAIN In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
MARK TWAIN Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs...
MARK TWAIN But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one...
MARK TWAIN The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
MARK TWAIN The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti...
MARK TWAIN It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
MARK TWAIN The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evil.
MARK TWAIN Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
MARK TWAIN Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
MARK TWAIN Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
MARK TWAIN There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
MARK TWAIN Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
MARK TWAIN Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside...
MARK TWAIN Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
MARK TWAIN The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
MARK TWAIN Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
MARK TWAIN I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
MARK TWAIN The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
MARK TWAIN All generalizations are false, including this one.
MARK TWAIN 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
MARK TWAIN The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba...
MARK TWAIN The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
MARK TWAIN Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
MARK TWAIN If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half.
MARK TWAIN What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ...
MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B...
MARK TWAIN When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu...
MARK TWAIN The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly...
MARK TWAIN By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec...
MARK TWAIN So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.
MARK TWAIN The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes...
MARK TWAIN We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w...
MARK TWAIN The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff...
MARK TWAIN Say the report is exaggerated.
MARK TWAIN A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ...
MARK TWAIN To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman.
MARK TWAIN I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ...
MARK TWAIN A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t...
MARK TWAIN Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st...
MARK TWAIN Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi...
MARK TWAIN Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to...
MARK TWAIN We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ...
MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people...
MARK TWAIN Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find...
MARK TWAIN Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood...
MARK TWAIN As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out.
MARK TWAIN I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol...
MARK TWAIN Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than...
MARK TWAIN The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst...
MARK TWAIN When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
MARK TWAIN All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
MARK TWAIN The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh...
MARK TWAIN To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ...
MARK TWAIN Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
MARK TWAIN It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal...
MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired
MARK TWAIN It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
MARK TWAIN Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
MARK TWAIN Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting...
MARK TWAIN To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
MARK TWAIN Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
MARK TWAIN The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse...
MARK TWAIN Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ...
MARK TWAIN There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.
MARK TWAIN The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha...
MARK TWAIN Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled
MARK TWAIN Necessity is the mother of "taking chances"
MARK TWAIN Distance lends enchantment to the view
MARK TWAIN Be good and you will be lonesome.
MARK TWAIN Chastity - you can carry it too far
MARK TWAIN To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble.
MARK TWAIN Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it...
MARK TWAIN Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
MARK TWAIN When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.
MARK TWAIN There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many...
MARK TWAIN Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you.
MARK TWAIN I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin...
MARK TWAIN Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would...
MARK TWAIN Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati...
MARK TWAIN Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material...
MARK TWAIN Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no...
MARK TWAIN There is a great deal of human nature in people.
MARK TWAIN If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
MARK TWAIN There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
MARK TWAIN The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot...
MARK TWAIN Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat...
MARK TWAIN It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th...
MARK TWAIN Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,...
MARK TWAIN Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t...
MARK TWAIN Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.
MARK TWAIN We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him.
MARK TWAIN O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th...
MARK TWAIN A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.
MARK TWAIN Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,...
MARK TWAIN There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to...
MARK TWAIN I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas...
MARK TWAIN Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich...
MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i...
MARK TWAIN Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us...
MARK TWAIN Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
MARK TWAIN Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
MARK TWAIN I do not like work even when someone else does it.
MARK TWAIN Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig...
MARK TWAIN Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
MARK TWAIN Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.
MARK TWAIN No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
MARK TWAIN We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th...
MARK TWAIN Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ...
MARK TWAIN When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
MARK TWAIN Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
MARK TWAIN Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
MARK TWAIN We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum...
MARK TWAIN There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
MARK TWAIN I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he...
MARK TWAIN There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were...
MARK TWAIN People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
MARK TWAIN My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ...
MARK TWAIN When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te...
MARK TWAIN In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities.
MARK TWAIN Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.
MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evils.
MARK TWAIN His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
MARK TWAIN Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures...
MARK TWAIN All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ...
MARK TWAIN Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini...
MARK TWAIN We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m...
MARK TWAIN There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence.
MARK TWAIN It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech...
MARK TWAIN There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
MARK TWAIN War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no...
MARK TWAIN There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe...
MARK TWAIN To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his...
MARK TWAIN One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
MARK TWAIN A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
MARK TWAIN A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants.
MARK TWAIN I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b...
MARK TWAIN The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
MARK TWAIN A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati...
MARK TWAIN Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe...
MARK TWAIN Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million.
MARK TWAIN It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.
MARK TWAIN Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar...
MARK TWAIN Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself
MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro...
MARK TWAIN Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
MARK TWAIN There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
MARK TWAIN I've never let my school interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al...
MARK TWAIN Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).
MARK TWAIN If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di...
MARK TWAIN A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going...
MARK TWAIN Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment...
MARK TWAIN Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca...
MARK TWAIN If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r...
MARK TWAIN The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a...
MARK TWAIN Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its...
MARK TWAIN The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall...
MARK TWAIN If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN ′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read.
MARK TWAIN Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
MARK TWAIN I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
MARK TWAIN Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut...
MARK TWAIN Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
MARK TWAIN A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
MARK TWAIN All right, then, I'll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
MARK TWAIN Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.
MARK TWAIN To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ...
MARK TWAIN Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
MARK TWAIN Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
MARK TWAIN Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
MARK TWAIN I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
MARK TWAIN