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Father said I have no sense of humor at all. He said I was unequipped to meet life because I have no sense of humor.


J.D. Salinger

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He said I was unequipped to meet life because I had no sense of humor.
J.D. SALINGER I have no sense of humor about losing
RAFAEL NADAL I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.
EDWARD ALBEE If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
MAHATMA GANDHI I was kidding. Even I'm not that promiscuous. You guru people have no sense of humor.”

...
SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS Jazz can be so serious, no sense of humor.
CHAD SMITH I forgot," Isabelle muttered as the rest of them caught up to her. "Faeries have no sense of humor."...
CASSANDRA CLARE Irritatingly angry people have no sense of humor when wearing their “angry pants.
CATHY BURNHAM MARTIN Charlie Chaplin's genius was in comedy. He has no sense of humor, particularly about himself.
LITA GREY CHAPLIN I often have said that to be a college president, you need a thick skin, a good sense of humor, and ...
GORDON GEE I don't have a very quick sense of humor.
FLORENZ ZIEGFELD How could you not? I do have a sense of humor.
HEIDI PRESCOTT He was just trying to tease me - I knew that later - but he said he'd have to leave because it w...
FAY WRAY You have to have a sense of humor about life to get through it.
KESHA I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler p...
VERA FARMIGA I think the scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor.
MICHAEL J. FOX I have a sense of humor, and sometimes it gets me into trouble.
DUNCAN JONES I cannot put into words how happy I was to have had the opportunity to be around him as much as I wa...
OSSIE DAVIS Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor i...
CLIVE JAMES Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor i...
WILLIAM JAMES Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor i...
LYN KAROL There," Zoë suggested."By the Embarcadero Building."
"Good thinking," Chuck said. "Me and Han...
RICK RIORDAN I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor.
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS If I ever have sex with someone I might be able to develop a sense of humor.
KATE BECKINSALE I won't bring anybody into the field who doesn't have a sense of humor.
DR. JANINE CAIRA What we're doing is fun - if you have any sense of humor at all!
CALVIN KLEIN I think J.D. Salinger is correct in granting no interviews, and in making no speeches.
PATRICIA HIGHSMITH I mean, yeah, I'm sure that Python and the other things have paved the way for a greater underst...
SIMON PEGG We are all different and we all have a different sense of humor.
JOHN PATRICK HICKEY You have to have a sense of humor to do this,
FRANK BROWN Do feminists have a sense of humor? Yes.
GLORIA ALLRED We definitely have our own sense of humor.
GABRIEL ELIZONDO I can't live without a sense of humor. I need to be laughing and entertained at all times.
CARLOS PONCE that I am equipped with what other people have called a fiendish sense of humor.
ALFRED HITCHCOCK I wore goofy hats to school and did musical theater. Most people thought I was a dork. But if you ha...
ZAC EFRON He was a very quiet guy, unlike the rest of the rabble, ... He had a low-key, wicked sense of humor....
PETE HAMILL Happiness for the average person may be said to flow largely from common sense -- adapting one-self ...
BEATRICE LILLIE Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny ...
WAVY GRAVY He had an incredible sense of humor.
DIANE GOLDEN I don't think that I could have survived in my family without a naughty sense of humor; yeah, ab...
RACHAEL MACFARLANE Perhaps the ocean doesn't have a sense of humor?
YULIYA GALLIMORE There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has nev...
SINCLAIR LEWIS There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has nev...
SINCLAIR LEWIS If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.
GREGORY DAVID ROBERTS He was a larger-than-life figure, with a wicked sense of humor, and a great friend.
SIR RICHARD BRANSON Sad music, I always thought, is more beautiful than other music. But at the same time, I am in my pe...
ALEJANDRO GONZALEZ INARRITU He was a good guy. He was very good at what he did. He had a good sense of humor.
JEFFREY SKILLING You have to have a sense of humor about all of it - the Emmys and politics and everything.
BILLY EICHNER Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, "The higher a monkey climbs, the more you s...
DONALD RUMSFELD One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
LARRY GELBART I'm not an expert on the Malaysian sense of humor.
BEN STILLER I believe that economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show they have a sense of humor.
WILLIAM GILMORE SIMMS I'm not 17 anymore. I still have some of the same sort of anger, but I have a sense of humor abo...
DAVE PIRNER Generation to generation, these pseudo-revolutionaries could never handle not being the cool kids. S...
CASPAR VEGA One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
LARRY GELBART People who know me know I have a sense of humor that can really push the envelope.
CARMEN ELECTRA No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor.
SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you ca...
ALAN THICKE You've got to have a sense of humor to keep your sanity.
LANCE BASS I have a remarkable ability to delete all better judgement from my brain when I get my head set on s...
MARYA HORNBACHER The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place.
BOB NEWHART then he needs to get his sense of humor checked.
TERRELL OWENS It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.
MUHAMMAD ALI A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerated ...
BILLY GRAHAM Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him ...
FRANCIS BACON, SR. A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things d...
DWIGHT DAVID EISENHOWER It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.
MAX EASTMAN I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.
FRANK A. CLARK A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign th...
HUGH SIDEY The British really treasure their sense of humor and they have cultivated a sense of irony that, I t...
ALEX BOESE Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.
BILL BRYSON I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience ...
JOAQUIN PHOENIX To my mind, a well-developed sense of humor is the surest indication of a person's humanity, no matt...
THOMAS LIGOTTI Dali had a good sense of humor - obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny.
JOE GRANT I like Thomas Jefferson, though he intimidated me. I thought he would have been very tough to be aro...
MAIRA KALMAN My dad instilled in me a great sense of humor. I wasn't bullied at school because my outward att...
WARWICK DAVIS Confidence is at the root of so many attractive qualities, a sense of humor, a sense of style, a wil...
WENTWORTH MILLER I have never believed much in luck, and my sense of humor has tended to walk on the dark side.
HUNTER S. THOMPSON You have to have a sense of humor about yourself and laugh at yourself in the company of those you l...
DALE SANDERS When people are in the midst of really heavy stuff and still have a sense of humor, I admire that.
TED DANSON As I get older, my sense of humor is my biggest asset.
DAVID ALAN GRIER Always have a sense of humor about life - you'll need it - but always be courteous to boot.
PETER JENNINGS He just never lost his optimism or sense of humor.
JANICE MOHR A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
CLIVE JAMES I've got a sense of humor. I'm a funny guy.
DARYL HALL I started out of course with Hemingway when I learned how to write. Until I realized Hemingway doesn...
ELMORE LEONARD Our volunteers are flexible, open-minded and have a sense of humor.
CAROL LUCAS "Without a good sense of humor, life gets in the way.”
TOM BAKER AKA THE PONDERING MAN I want everything I do to have humor in it, because it seems to me that all of life has that.
LAWRENCE KASDAN You've got to have a sense of humor to keep your sanity.
LANCE BASS I was certainly not a class clown; I confused and angered a lot of people with my sense of humor.
KATHERINE RYAN I'll be sure not to let anyone but you carry me in her arms." He turns and leaves the kitchen before...
SUSAN EE In some sort of crude sense, which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, th...
J. ROBERT OPPENHEIMER We never needed for anything, ... My father was a simple man. That's the way he was, and that's the ...
HAL LEBOVITZ When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECK Humor has a way of bringing people together. It unites people. In fact, I'm rather serious when I su...
RON DENTINGER Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate th...
ANN LANDERS I like the brooding man - a brooding man with a sense of humor.
MAIRA KALMAN I wasn't shy, but I was really hyper. Nobody got my sense of humor. I was a black skater kid.
TYLER, THE CREATOR

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J.D. SALINGER I've never seen such a bunch of apple-eaters.
J.D. SALINGER What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that ...
J.D. SALINGER This fall I think you're riding for—it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling ...
J.D. SALINGER I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to b...
J.D. SALINGER Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. T...
J.D. SALINGER You can't stop a teacher when they want to do something. They just do it.
J.D. SALINGER Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.
J.D. SALINGER If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late?
J.D. SALINGER That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look ...
J.D. SALINGER I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
J.D. SALINGER He once told Allie and I that if he'd had to shoot anybody, he wouldn't've known which direction to ...
J.D. SALINGER I am always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay a...
J.D. SALINGER All morons hate it when you call them a moron.
J.D. SALINGER I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really ...
J.D. SALINGER when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "Fuck you" right under your nose.
J.D. SALINGER The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature...
J.D. SALINGER Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightene...
J.D. SALINGER Yet a real artist, I've noticed, will survive anything. (Even praise, I happily suspect.)
J.D. SALINGER I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot.
J.D. SALINGER I was trying to feel some kind of good-bye. I mean I’ve left schools and places I didn’t even kn...
J.D. SALINGER I thought what I'd do was I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes.
J.D. SALINGER Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.
J.D. SALINGER who wants flowers when youre dead? nobody.
J.D. SALINGER But I'm Crazy. I swear to God I am.
J.D. SALINGER I’ve survived a lot of things, and I’ll probably survive this.
J.D. SALINGER And I can't be running back and fourth forever between grief and high delight.
J.D. SALINGER She was not one for emptying her face of expression.
J.D. SALINGER Boy, when you're dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enoug...
J.D. SALINGER Almost every time somebody gives me a present, it ends up making me sad.
J.D. SALINGER If you do something too good, then, after a while, if you don't watch it, you start showing off. And...
J.D. SALINGER I'm a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
J.D. SALINGER Certain things, they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of thos...
J.D. SALINGER I’m just sick of ego, ego, ego. My own and everybody else’s. I’m sick of everybody that wants ...
J.D. SALINGER The fact is always obvious much too late, but the most singular difference between happiness and joy...
J.D. SALINGER I mean they don't seem able to love us just the way we are. They don't seem able to love us unless t...
J.D. SALINGER She was terrific to hold hands with. Most girls if you hold hands with them, their goddam hand dies ...
J.D. SALINGER I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn't have to ha...
J.D. SALINGER She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, hol...
J.D. SALINGER You’d better get busy, though, buddy. The goddam sands run out on you every time
You turn ar...
J.D. SALINGER Why's it so sunny?" she repeated.
Zooey observed her rather narrowly. "I bring the sun wherever...
J.D. SALINGER Bessie: 'Why don't you get married?'
Zooey: 'I like riding in trains too much. You never get to...
J.D. SALINGER Listen, I don't care what you say about my race, creed, or religion, Fatty, but don't tell me I'm no...
J.D. SALINGER My god, there's absolutely nothing tenth-rate about you, and yet you're up to your neck at this minu...
J.D. SALINGER Your heart, Bessie, is an autumn garage.
J.D. SALINGER People never notice anything.
J.D. SALINGER It's no fun to be yellow. Maybe I'm not all yellow. I don't know. I think maybe I'm just partly yell...
J.D. SALINGER Make sure you marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.
J.D. SALINGER That's the whole trouble. You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't ...
J.D. SALINGER It’s history. It’s poetry.
J.D. SALINGER Don't tell people what you are thinking, or you will miss them terribly when you are away.
J.D. SALINGER I can’t explain what I mean. And even if I could, I’m not sure I’d feel like it.
J.D. SALINGER The catcher in the rye... that's all I really want to be...
J.D. SALINGER I wouldn't exactly describe her as strictly beautiful. She knocked me out, though.
J.D. SALINGER I don't exactly know what I mean by that, but I mean it.
J.D. SALINGER Mothers are all slightly insane.
J.D. SALINGER An artist's only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone e...
J.D. SALINGER I always pick a gorgeous time to fall over a suitcase or something.
J.D. SALINGER It may be the kind where, at the age of thirty, you sit in some bar hating everybody who comes in lo...
J.D. SALINGER I also say "Boy" a lot. Partly because I have a lousy vocabulary and partly because I act quite youn...
J.D. SALINGER Boy, it began to rain like a bastard. In buckets, I swear to God. All the parents and mothers and ev...
J.D. SALINGER People with red hair are supposed to get mad very easily,...,and he had very red hair.
J.D. SALINGER Some guys spend days looking for something they lost. I never seem to have anything that if I lost i...
J.D. SALINGER Then I’d throw my automatic down the elevator shaft-after I’d wiped off all the fingerprints and...
J.D. SALINGER D.B. asked me what I thought about all this stuff I just finished telling you about. I didn't know w...
J.D. SALINGER That’s what I liked about those nuns. You could tell, for one thing, that they never went anywhere...
J.D. SALINGER I was surrounded by phonies...They were coming in the goddam window.
J.D. SALINGER I don’t give a damn, except that I get bored sometimes when people tell me to act my age. Sometime...
J.D. SALINGER I think that one of these days," he said, "you're going to have to find out where you want to go. An...
J.D. SALINGER As much as anything else, it was a stare, not so paradoxically, of a privacy-lover who, once his pri...
J.D. SALINGER Rudford lay on his back in the grass and watched great cotton clouds slip through the sky. Peculiarl...
J.D. SALINGER چیزی که دنبالش می‌گشتم یه جور احساس خدافظی بود. می‌خوا...
J.D. SALINGER Think about this truck. Make believe this is not the darkest, wettest, most miserable Army truck you...
J.D. SALINGER I never really knew anything about friendship before I was in the Army. Did you Vince?"
"Not a...
J.D. SALINGER Unfortunately, here as elsewhere on this touching planet, imitation is the watchword and prestige th...
J.D. SALINGER After I go out this door, I may only exist in the minds of all my acquaintances…I may be an orange...
J.D. SALINGER I hate saying corny things like 'traveling incognito.' But when I' with somebody that's corny, I alw...
J.D. SALINGER I hate saying corny things like "traveling incognito." But when I'm with somebody that's corny, I al...
J.D. SALINGER If or when I do start going to an analyst, I hope to God he has the foresight to let a dermatologist...
J.D. SALINGER You don't know how to talk to people you don't like. Don't love, really. You can't live in the world...
J.D. SALINGER She wrote to him fairly regularly, from a paradise of triple exclamation points and inaccurate obser...
J.D. SALINGER Give me a story that just makes me unreasonably vigilant. Keep me up till five only because all your...
J.D. SALINGER I privately say to you, old friend... please accept from me this unpretentious bouquet of early-bloo...
J.D. SALINGER Give me an honest con man any day.
J.D. SALINGER You're lucky if you get time to sneeze in this goddam phenomenal world.
J.D. SALINGER I don't know what good it is to know so much and be smart as whips and all if it doesn't make you ha...
J.D. SALINGER I love you to pieces, distraction, etc.
J.D. SALINGER I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.
J.D. SALINGER It's partly true, too, but it isn't all true. People always think something's all true.
J.D. SALINGER I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.
J.D. SALINGER Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, som...
J.D. SALINGER I don’t think it would have all got me quite so down if just once in a while—just once in a whil...
J.D. SALINGER And I have one of those very loud, stupid laughs. I mean if I ever sat behind myself in a movie or s...
J.D. SALINGER This whole goddamn house stinks of ghosts.
J.D. SALINGER The thing he was afraid of, he was afraid somebody'd say something smarter than he had.
J.D. SALINGER He said he talked to Jesus all the time. Even when he was driving his car. That killed me. I just se...
J.D. SALINGER Oh, I don’t know. That digression business got on my nerves. I don’t know. The trouble with me i...
J.D. SALINGER John Keats / John Keats / John / Please put your scarf on.
J.D. SALINGER I’ll read my books and I’ll drink coffee and I’ll listen to music, and I’ll bolt the door."<...
J.D. SALINGER Catholics are always trying to find out if you're a Catholic.
J.D. SALINGER When I'd originally loaded the car and held the door open for him, I'd had a passing impulse to pick...
J.D. SALINGER I felt like praying or something, when I was in bed, but I couldn't do it. I can't always pray when ...
J.D. SALINGER But you don't have to be a bad guy to depress somebody-you can be a good guy and do it.
J.D. SALINGER He said you were the only one who was bitter about S.'s suicide and the only one who really forgave ...
J.D. SALINGER These intellectual guys don't like to have an intellectual conversation with you unless they're runn...
J.D. SALINGER If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the "Fuck you" signs in the w...
J.D. SALINGER It was that kind of a crazy afternoon, terrifically cold, and no sun out or anything, and you felt l...
J.D. SALINGER Grand. There's a word I really hate. It's a phony. I could puke every time I hear it.
J.D. SALINGER The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody'...
J.D. SALINGER People always clap for the wrong reasons.
J.D. SALINGER People are always ruining things for you.
J.D. SALINGER When you're dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to ...
J.D. SALINGER I like it when somebody gets excited about something. It's nice.
J.D. SALINGER is he crazy?" --Harcourt-Brace editor on Holden Caulfield
J.D. SALINGER When I really worry about something, I don´t just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom wh...
J.D. SALINGER The thing is, it's really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than th...
J.D. SALINGER That digression business got on my nerves. I don't now. The trouble with me is, I like it whe...
J.D. SALINGER It's 'If a body meet a body coming through the rye'!" old Phoebe said. "It's a poem. By Robert Burns...
J.D. SALINGER the sentence im reading is terrific ...
J.D. SALINGER I don’t even like old cars. I mean, they don’t even interest me at all. I'd rather have a goddam...
J.D. SALINGER You never even worried with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were ha...
J.D. SALINGER Girls with their legs crossed, girls with their legs not crossed, girls with terrific legs, girls wi...
J.D. SALINGER What I really felt like, though, was committing suicide. I felt like jumping out the window. I proba...
J.D. SALINGER That's something that annoys the hell out of me- I mean if somebody says the coffee's all ready and ...
J.D. SALINGER I felt so lonesome, all of a sudden. I almost wished I was dead.
J.D. SALINGER Lawyers are alright, I guess — but it doesn't appeal to me", I said. "I mean they're alright if th...
J.D. SALINGER We're freaks, the two of us, Franny and I. I'm a twenty-five-year-old freak and she's a twenty-one-y...
J.D. SALINGER I figured I could get a job at a filling station somewhere, putting gas and oil in people's cars. I ...
J.D. SALINGER I took her dress over to the closet and hung it up. It was funny. It made me feel sort of sad when I...
J.D. SALINGER I felt so damn happy all of a sudden, the way old Phoebe kept going around and around. I was damn ne...
J.D. SALINGER You're going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you've got to start going there.
J.D. SALINGER There's a marvelous peace in not publishing, there's a stillness. When you publish, the world thinks...
J.D. SALINGER I thought the two ugly ones were sisters, but they got very insulted when I asked them. You could te...
J.D. SALINGER Well. He's a very sensitive boy. He's really never been a terribly good mixer with other boys...' J.D. SALINGER I guess, even before that, I'd get them to empty out everything their parents and everybody ever tol...
J.D. SALINGER Do you have any emotions?"
"If I do, I don't remember when I ever used them. I don't see what t...
J.D. SALINGER He was little more than halfway down the staircase when he heard an all-piercing, sustained scream--...
J.D. SALINGER Nothing in the voice of the cicada intimates how soon it will die.
J.D. SALINGER Mary Jane. Listen. Please," Eloise said, sobbing. "You remember our freshman year, and I had that br...
J.D. SALINGER Look at 'em,' he said. 'Goddam fools.' 'Who?' said Ginnie. 'I don't know. Anybody.
J.D. SALINGER My father wrote beautifully,” Esmé interrupted. “I’m saving a number of his letters for poste...
J.D. SALINGER Ah, Sharon Lipschutz," said the young man. "How that name comes up. Mixing memory and desire.
J.D. SALINGER You're just being logical...You're just giving me a regular, intelligent answer. I was trying to hel...
J.D. SALINGER I see you are looking at my feet," he said to her when car was in motion.
"I beg your pardon?" ...
J.D. SALINGER You know Sven? The man who takes care of the gym?' he asked. He waited till he got a nod from Nichol...
J.D. SALINGER But doctors talk about cells as if they had such unlimited importance all by themselves. As if they ...
J.D. SALINGER That cat was a spy. You had to take a pot shot at it. It was a very clever German midget dres...
J.D. SALINGER I mean it's very hard to meditate and live a spiritual life in America. People think you're a freak ...
J.D. SALINGER I prayed for the city to be cleared of people, for the gift of being alone—a-l-o-n-e: which is the...
J.D. SALINGER Listen, if you're not going to be a nun or something, you might as well laugh.
J.D. SALINGER Each of his phrases was rather like a little ancient island, inundated by a miniature sea of whiskey...
J.D. SALINGER Did you see more glass?
J.D. SALINGER You take a really sleepy man, Esmé, and he always stands a chance of again becoming a man with all ...
J.D. SALINGER Her joke of a name aside, her general unprettiness aside, she was, in terms of permanently memorable...
J.D. SALINGER You know that apple Adam ate in the Garden of Eden, referred to in the Bible?' he asked. 'You know w...
J.D. SALINGER She was a girl who for a ringing phone dropped exactly nothing. She looked as if her phone had been ...
J.D. SALINGER The worst thing that being an artist could do to you would be that it would make you slightly unhapp...
J.D. SALINGER They love their reasons for loving us almost as much as they love us, and most of the time more. It'...
J.D. SALINGER He said I was unequipped to meet life because I had no sense of humor.
J.D. SALINGER Written in ink, in German, in a small, hopelessly sincere handwriting, were the words "Dear God, lif...
J.D. SALINGER You asked me how to get out of the finite dimensions when I feel like it. I certainly don't use logi...
J.D. SALINGER If I were God, I certainly wouldn't want people to love me sentimentally. It's too unreliable...
J.D. SALINGER Poets are always taking the weather so personally. They're always sticking their emotions in things ...
J.D. SALINGER We’re freaks, that’s all. Those two bastards got us nice and early and made us into freaks with ...
J.D. SALINGER Just because somebody's dead, you don't just stop liking them-especially if they were about a thousa...
J.D. SALINGER If I were a piano player, I'd play it in the goddam closet.
J.D. SALINGER People never think anything is anything really. I'm getting goddam sick of it.
J.D. SALINGER Every time you mention some guy that's strictly a bastard— very mean, or very conceited and all—...
J.D. SALINGER I think if you don't really like a girl, you shouldn't horse around with her at all, and if you do l...
J.D. SALINGER If you sat around there long enough and heard all the phonies applauding and all, you got to hate ev...
J.D. SALINGER It's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.
J.D. SALINGER Anyway, I'm sort of glad they've got the atomic bomb invented. If there's ever another war, I'm goin...
J.D. SALINGER I live in New York, and I was thinking about the lagoon in Central Park, down near Central Park Sout...
J.D. SALINGER I don't even know what I was running for—I guess I just felt like it.
J.D. SALINGER It's not too bad when the sun's out, but the sun only comes out when it feels like coming out.
J.D. SALINGER Sleep tight, ya morons!
J.D. SALINGER Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell.
J.D. SALINGER If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was bor...
J.D. SALINGER Everybody in this family gets his goddamn religion in a different package.
J.D. SALINGER Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. - Holden Caulfield
J.D. SALINGER She was around ten minutes late, as a matter of fact. I didn't give a damn, though. All that crap th...
J.D. SALINGER One day a long time from now you'll cease to care anymore whom you please or what anybody has to say...
J.D. SALINGER You can hit my father over the head with a chair and he won't wake up, but my mother, all you have t...
J.D. SALINGER But what I mean is, lots of time you don’t know what interests you most till you start talking abo...
J.D. SALINGER Then the carousel started, and I watched her go round and round...All the kids tried to grap for the...
J.D. SALINGER Some people you shouldn't kid, even if they deserve it.
J.D. SALINGER We got passes, till midnight after the parade. I met Muriel at the Biltmore at seven. Two drinks, tw...
J.D. SALINGER -Hey, listen," I said. "You know those ducks in that lagoon right near Central Park South? That litt...
J.D. SALINGER If you're not in
the mood, you can't do that stuff right.
J.D. SALINGER I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.
J.D. SALINGER There is a marvelous peace in not publishing ... I like to write. I love to write. But I write just ...
J.D. SALINGER I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of trying to make me happy
J.D. SALINGER Probably for every man there is at least one city that sooner or later turns into a girl. How well o...
J.D. SALINGER O tipo da marinha e eu dissemos um ao outro que tinha sido um prazer. Que é uma coisa que me deixa ...
J.D. SALINGER People always think something's all true.
J.D. SALINGER It's such a stupid question, in my opinion. I mean, how do you know what you're going to do till you...
J.D. SALINGER Know your true measurements and dress your mind accordingly
J.D. SALINGER Keep me up till five because all your stars are out, and for no other reason…Oh dare to do it Budd...
J.D. SALINGER I don't like it when it stings,' he said. 'Nobody does.
J.D. SALINGER American people simply will not countenance being lied to by their own President.
PIERRE SALINGER