Flowers are happy things.


P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse

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At Flores in the Azores Sir Richard Grenville lay.
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Flowers are happy things.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
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He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
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She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
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I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
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Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
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To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
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Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
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If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
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He virtually lives on fish
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The lunches of fifty-seven years had caused his chest to slip down to the mezzanine floor.
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He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
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The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I li...
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Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
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I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
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"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first,...
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She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
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Flowers make me irrationally happy.
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Why, Sir, most schemes of political improvement are very laughable things.
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There are no such things as Flowers there are only gladdened Leaves.
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With freedom, books, flowers, and the moon, who could not be happy?
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Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made and forgot to put a soul into.
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I can't believe it yet. I am so happy, especially as I didn't have a good feeling about the super-G.
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There are a whole bunch of things people want to use the 'p-word' for, so we have to be careful.
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Flowers are the sweetest things that God ever made and forgot to put a soul into
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I bilieve that flowers are good and fruits are better flowers.
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I always advise people never to give advice.
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Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
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Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
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There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Flowers are happy things.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriora...
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Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
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To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
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Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
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If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
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The lunches of fifty-seven years had caused his chest to slip down to the mezzanine floor.
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To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
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it crossed Farren's mind that although death seemed big, life was even bigger
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No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit.
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If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it aft...
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If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mi...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fatt...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasant...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
...and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
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P.G. WODEHOUSE
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P.G. WODEHOUSE
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P.G. WODEHOUSE
No fair-minded girl objects to a certain tinge of jealousy. Kept within proper bounds, it is a compl...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
No sir," said Mr Molloy. "I'm mighty sorry I can't meet you in any way, but the fact is I'm all fixe...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that sh...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a nor...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Employers are like horses — they require management.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular mess...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The principle I always go on in writing a novel is to think of the characters in terms of actors in ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hou...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
But when I say 'cow', don’t go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It seems to be one of Nature’s laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractiv...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours' sleep each night - I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to reme...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is nothing an author today has to guard himself more carefully against than the Saga Habit. Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb tr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last n...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.

'Go to hell!' said Bill.

'Right-...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The ideal adventurer needs... the quality of not being content to mind his own affairs...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
There is no time, sir, at which ties do no...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literatu...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers--the kind that have taken twelve correspondence les...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The coops were finished. They were not masterpieces, and I have seen chickens pause before them in d...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
All nice girls sketch a little.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Have you ever seen a man, woman, or child who wasn’t eating an egg or just going to eat an egg or ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I went into the kitchen ten minutes back. The cat was sitting on the mat."

Beale's narra...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes."
"He's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I was in that painful condition which occurs when one has lost one's first wind and has not yet got ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Conversationally, I am like a clockwork toy. I have to be set going.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There are situations in life which are beyond one. The sensible man realizes this, and slides out of...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself cle...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Squiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Half a league
Half a league
Half a league onward
With a hey-nonny-nonny
And a ho...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing f...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers."
"I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said.
"Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
[A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothin...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what ha...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had cr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE