For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.
Dave Attell
Related I don't want this to come off bad at all, but I really don't watch Disney shows. I don't... ATTICUS SHAFFER I have never been offended. I don't know what it means. It's not that I disagree with it. I ... MILO YIANNOPOULOS I don't know why they gave me a knighthood - though it's very nice of them - but I only ever... ANTHONY HOPKINS Horror films have always been quite operatic for me. I always sort of scratch my head at people'... BRYAN FULLER I don't read the magazines that make things up about people. I know what the truth is. I don'... ASHTON KUTCHER The things that motivated me at 21 don't suffice. Which is scary but really liberating in a way.... CHRIS PINE I draw hundreds and hundreds of pictures of sort of gnarly looking men, so I don't know what tha... DYLAN MORAN Some people are really proud of me, and some don't like it. I don't really know what to tell... BRYSON TILLER I don't even know why, but I've just always done it - I don't walk on handicapped parkin... CHANTAL SUTHERLAND I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film the... CAROL BURNETT Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill JUDE WATSON Well, a lot of people don't know this about me, but I'm actually shy around people I don'... AVRIL LAVIGNE People who don't know that I do comedy think I'm shy, kind of a dud, and I don't have th... MARTHA KELLY That is why one day I said my game will be like the Pythagorean Theorem - hard to figure out. A lot ... SHAQUILLE O'NEAL I still, at hotel rooms, I do this one sort of not-so-cool thing: continually shoving my room servic... DREW BARRYMORE I'm friends with a lot of my exes, but it took time. We didn't just get into it. I don't... RASHIDA JONES I'm not just gonna go after the black Jesse Jackson they all want to make fun of, but I know the... CHRIS MATTHEWS Never say never, but I don't think I'll ever get Botox because we don't know the long-te... KRISTIN CAVALLARI I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It's funny - people ask me that, and I don... MACKENZIE ROSMAN I don't think that everything on Broadway relates to us, and I think that's why we as black ... STEPHANIE MILLS I Googled 'What do rich people buy?' Because I don't feel like a rich person, and I don&... J. J. WATT Men don't have to tiptoe around me - you can say anything and I won't get offended. MICHAEL MICHELE I don't know if it's responsible for kids of my age to be so aggressively pursuing monogamou... EZRA MILLER I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that... DYLAN MORAN I don't like it when people don't hold the door. I don't know, that really bugs me... I ... TAYLOR SCHILLING The world that I am coming from, hip-hop, is so regurgitated and repetitive that some people are use... KID CUDI I have no deep-seated desire to be famous; that's not what's driving me, so if it's some... CAM It's just not right that so many things don't work when they should. I don't think that ... STEVE WOZNIAK I love to get to that place where I don't know what kind of music I'm doing; I don't kno... ARIEL PINK Some people don't like long bus rides, but I love them. There's sort of a sense of solitude. SAM HUNT It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill JUDE WATSON No, I wouldn't direct a movie, no. I couldn't. I don't have the patience for it, I don... NICK CAVE In order to run a great business, you must know that a bunch of really intrinsically unhappy people,... MICK FLEETWOOD I wouldn't compare myself to any past Idol contestant, because I don't feel like I am like a... NAIMA ADEDAPO It must be horrible having people scared to talk to you. But I think it's kinda cool that I don&... CAMERON DALLAS I really don't make a concerted effort to try to find a type of role. Maybe I've just done e... GREG KINNEAR I don't think you can be successful in television without appealing to women. I don't think ... MAGGIE Q I know most people don't like their jobs very much and don't get a lot of personal satisfact... SETH ROGEN I'm an untrained musician. Untrained musicians don't really have any music theory, they don&... FRANK BLACK I've been approached after shows from people who said, 'I don't agree with anything you ... HARI KONDABOLU I love kids. But that's such a big commitment. And it seems long-term. It seems like a commitmen... ELLEN DEGENERES It could be that people just want to be connected to something that's bigger than they are that ... DWIGHT SCHULTZ I spend 80% of my time in my restaurants. Taping my TV shows doesn't take much time, and then th... BOBBY FLAY I don't do facials - I don't really enjoy people picking at my skin. I'd rather a dermat... HAILEY BALDWIN I don't like shows, I don't like to put on a show, I just really want to work intimately wit... SAM RAIMI I'm sure there will come a time when I won't be able to, you know, walk around so easy somet... FRANK DILLANE I don't play the traditional Charlie Parker songs. But I do improvise and I do create with my in... KENNY G You know, I just don't believe that art is supposed to make sense. I really don't think it... SHELBY LYNNE It's funny because a lot of people that know me as a dancer, don't know that I'm a singe... NAIMA ADEDAPO I don't know if Wimbledon's seen anything like it. I don't know if they will again. But ... PATRICK RAFTER I can think of the number of people who were like, 'I will never get a cellphone because I don... DENNIS CROWLEY I really don't mind what people assume about me. I really think that my brain is my private thin... ALICE EVE Some people come out going, I don't get it. And I don't quite know what they're trying t... JOEL COEN I'm embarrassed to say that I don't have a lot of hobbies. It's not because I don't ... MIKE COLTER I think the rigors of a TV schedule are brutal and 'Six Feet Under' wasn't a network sch... FRANCES CONROY I don't have people following me around, like bodyguards. I don't know how people live like ... ANTHONY HOPKINS The question I ask myself is: have I really just become a squeamish middle-aged man, or has somethin... MARK GATISS I realised that if you get yourself labeled as the funny one, people don't look any further. I... CATHERINE TATE Honestly, I'm cool with everyone, and people pick up on that. I'd say, 'I'm not gay,... DYLAN MCDERMOTT I don't like going to the gym because I don't like being with people I don't know in tha... UTADA HIKARU I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never bee... AL YANKOVIC I don't know what my next dream role gig is, but I have so, so many shows that I'm like, ... ALLISON TOLMAN I don't know if it's changing already with 'Joanne,' but my intention is to bring pe... LADY GAGA Something I like to do a lot is just sit by water when there's a current and just stare into the... IGGY POP I think that my music is really empowering. I just want people to know - especially young people, bu... ALESSIA CARA I definitely do like change. I don't know if my hairstyles reflect that, but I don't like th... COBI JONES It is weird. People will say, 'Oh my God, I love you.' And I'll say, 'Oh, that's... CHERYL HINES I'm scared of horses, and I don't know how to shoot them, but that's what excites me. Af... ALEJANDRO GONZALEZ INARRITU My sister is my little star, and I'm excited for her and proud of her. With her, I'm protect... GIGI HADID I come from - I came from Wales, and it's a strong, butch society. We were in the war and all th... ANTHONY HOPKINS I've done nothing wrong. Some people just don't like me. Maybe I'm somebody that's e... DANIEL CORMIER I don't have regret about things I've done that are successful or not successful or what peo... MARK HARMON I'm not ambitious. I don't want to get anywhere, I don't want anything more. I sometimes... ARUNDHATI ROY It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea. JUDE WATSON I've been with the same person for a very long time but I'm just non-conventional in that wa... EVA MENDES Honestly, I don't really read about myself. I look at the pictures sometimes. Sometimes I'm ... CAROLINE WOZNIACKI The 'American Idol' and 'X Factor' shows, they're great shows. But I think I nee... SNOOP DOGG I don't think it's that I don't like Sondheim. It's that I find it really... I don... IMELDA STAUNTON The transgender bathroom thing - it's just so obvious that people are scared of what they don... NIKKI GLASER I don't think I've found the perfect job for me, but I know what I like, so that's halfw... COLLEEN HASKELL For me, I would prefer to not have my face on the album cover. I don't mind being in the public,... FLUME I think half the time I just assume I don't really know what I'm doing - you have to do that... EMILY MORTIMER I don't think music is my job - I don't think about it that way, because I don't really ... CASS MCCOMBS I don't really follow trends - I don't like wearing what other people are wearing. I just li... KYLIE JENNER I don't really have a career plan. There's no joy for me to just be a personality in my work... TAMMY BLANCHARD I've been drinking tequila for a long time now, and it's never been about drinking to get dr... SAMMY HAGAR It's not that I don't want to be famous. It's just that I don't feel like the burden... BILLY CRUDUP I got halfway through 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.' I don't get it at all. What'... ELMORE LEONARD I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he know... DON RICKLES I just worry about the girls who look up to me. I don't want them to think I starve myself or do... ELLEN POMPEO Psychopaths are actually, really, really, really rare in our culture, are people who don't... Or... ANNIE PARISSE I think I've developed a sort of ADD for geography now. When I've been in a country for too ... ELIZABETH DEBICKI Most of the time, you don't win anything on reality shows. You're booted off, or maybe you w... MICHAEL IAN BLACK I don't like gratuitous violence. I don't like the 'Saw' movies. I don't like th... MICHAEL BIEHN Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because th... JENNY ECLAIR I don't go to that many Broadway shows, so I can't really say anything. KENNETH EDMONDS I don't care what straight people do, I don't care what gay people do. I don't care what... ASAP ROCKY So I don't really have much rivalry, or if there is any, I don't really know anything about ... EMILY BLUNT You know what, I don't really watch a lot of cooking shows, but what's great about them is t... ROY YAMAGUCHI
More Dave Attell
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But... DAVE ATTELL A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t... DAVE ATTELL When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me. DAVE ATTELL What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you shoul... DAVE ATTELL Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you kno... DAVE ATTELL Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people ""the cops."" But you k... DAVE ATTELL Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick. DAVE ATTELL What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you s... DAVE ATTELL Every eight minutes, someone has sex with an animal...and you wonder why the attack you. Because of ... DAVE ATTELL There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good s... DAVE ATTELL You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they... DAVE ATTELL I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show. DAVE ATTELL What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you s... DAVE ATTELL I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff. DAVE ATTELL I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears. DAVE ATTELL I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I d... DAVE ATTELL I found a gray hair one of my testicles the today. No, it wasn't mine, but it's frightening. DAVE ATTELL I found a gray hair on one of my testicles today. No, it wasn't mine, but it's frightening. DAVE ATTELL I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when the... DAVE ATTELL I have no grand scheme. DAVE ATTELL I never wanted to be famous. DAVE ATTELL I'm not like a performer type. DAVE ATTELL I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that. DAVE ATTELL I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. DAVE ATTELL I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes. DAVE ATTELL Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight. DAVE ATTELL I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good... DAVE ATTELL I don't watch reality TV. I'm cool. DAVE ATTELL My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I... DAVE ATTELL I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous. DAVE ATTELL Being on the road is kind of lonely. DAVE ATTELL Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick. DAVE ATTELL I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality o... DAVE ATTELL I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ... DAVE MATTHEWS Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ... DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi... DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century. DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe... DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ... DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a... DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod... DAVE BAUTISTA As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui... DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s... DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk. DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou... DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a... DAVE BRUBECK And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra... DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible. DAVE HAYWOOD So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio... DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a... DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se... DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each... DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be... DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ... DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ... DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea... DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th... DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i... DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ... DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts. DAVE FREUDENTHAL The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're... DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do... DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va... DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'... DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ... DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to... DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or... DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts.. Everything is ONE! DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor... DAVE BARRY I'm so alive. As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte... DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr... DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi... DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on... DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough. DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless... DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio... DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu... DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church. DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. DAVE BARRY That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth... DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l... DAVE EGGERS Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ... DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you. DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ... DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have... DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r... DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba... DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this. DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee Making plans to change the world While the world is changing... DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi... DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En... DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time... DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me? DAVE MATTHEWS My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit... DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ... DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading. DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long. DAVE JOHNSON Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b... DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o... DAVE CAREY What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be... DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula... DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ... DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told. DAVE BARRY There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ... DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ... DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in... DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went... DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo... DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon. DAVE SIM I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ... DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer... DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p... DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they... DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst... DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas... DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y... DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h... DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa... DAVE BARRY And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta... DAVE BARRY The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe... DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason. DAVE BARRY New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ... DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza... DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won... DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. DAVE BARRY I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu... DAVE BARRY One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute... DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort. DAVE WEINBAUM People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th... DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys... DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit... DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ... DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c... DAVE EGGERS You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo... DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa... DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ... DAVE WILSON Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi... DAVE BARRY We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this i... DAVE BARRY Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up. DAVE CHECKETT You can't choose what you're famous for in life. DAVE KELLETT The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dic... DAVE KELLETT A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple lea... DAVE MEURER Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... DAVE BARRY The future is no place to place your better days. DAVE MATTHEWS Nothing can do what a book can do. Lifts you out of your life... to a whole new world, whole new per... DAVE KELLETT I was trying to make the web more civil. I was trying to make it more elegant. I got rid of anonymit... DAVE EGGERS Gang violence in America is not a sudden problem. It has been a part of urban life for years, offeri... DAVE REICHERT It's all very boring to say that we get along great and all that and sometimes we mock up come a... DAVE EDMUNDS To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. DAVE BARRY American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, includi... DAVE BARRY Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television witho... DAVE BARRY In terms of personalities - I don't care about the personalities, I want leadership that's i... DAVE BRAT I became a war hero before going on to critical acclaim as a professional victim. DAVE PELZER Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. DAVE BARRY When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process. DAVE PELZER Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who re... DAVE BARRY I work 338 days a year, 16 hours a day. DAVE PELZER At a family's most difficult time, I want to make sure at a minimum that they have the very basi... DAVE REICHERT It's tough to go to sleep at night, and I wake up after five hours because I feel like I'm w... DAVE GROHL I taught myself how to play the guitar, I taught myself how to play the drums, and I kind of fake do... DAVE GROHL There's poetry in being the band that can sell out Wembley but also makes a record in a garage. ... DAVE GROHL My mother was a public school teacher in Virginia, and we didn't have any money, we just survive... DAVE GROHL Through Kurt I saw the beauty of minimalism and the importance of music that's stripped down. DAVE GROHL Singing into a microphone and learning to play an instrument - learning to do your craft - that'... DAVE GROHL My songwriting is like extending a hand to the listener. DAVE GROHL I stopped doing drugs when I was 20. I was finished with drugs before Nirvana even started. DAVE GROHL In this day and age, when you can use a machine or computer to simulate or emulate what people can d... DAVE GROHL I've experienced great things, I've experienced great tragedies. I've done almost everyt... DAVE GROHL Wow, I get to wake up again? Ok. You have to make good with what you've got. DAVE GROHL I think people should feel encouraged to be themselves. DAVE GROHL When you're young, you're not afraid of what comes next. You're excited by it. DAVE GROHL Your personal history is a part of what happens with your hands and your head as you play music. DAVE GROHL When there's so much left to do, why spend your time focusing on things you've already done,... DAVE GROHL There's always gonna be rock n' roll bands, there's always gonna be kids that love rock ... DAVE GROHL If there's one thing I'm good at, it's gathering people together to do something fun. DAVE GROHL Guilt is cancer. Guilt will confine you, torture you, destroy you as an artist. It's a black wal... DAVE GROHL