Lewis Black
Related STEPHANIE MILLS AARON RODGERS DIANE KEATON VICTORIA BECKHAM I walked out of 'Harry and the Hendersons.' Harry bugged me; I don't know. Yeah, it'... TEDDY SEARS RITA RUDNER TONY STEWART I have to say that when I first started singing, I didn't think it was a very noble profession. ... LESLEY GORE I don't think that I could ever be a strict dad. I never grew up with anybody strict in my life.... RANDY HOUSER I don't think of people as black or white. It's a question of are they photogenic or not? I ... EILEEN FORD I really don't mind what people assume about me. I really think that my brain is my private thin... ALICE EVE CARINE ROITFELD DEYTH BANGER PETER JACKSON JACOB DEGROM SUFJAN STEVENS CLARENCE THOMAS I don't think I have ever taken any 'offbeat' advice. Actually, I don't know I take ... DIANE HENDRICKS I don't read anything anymore. I don't have the eyesight. I read my own copy, that's all... JOHN GOULD I'm married now, so I have a life. I had to get a life. That's one thing I really had to do,... KATE JACKSON I really, really enjoy comedy. I think that's one of my strong suits. It's my zone. And peop... BAR PALY BRYSON TILLER CHARLIE PUTH I'm single. I just moved to a new city. I'm sort of starting over. I'm in Los Angeles. I... SUTTON FOSTER AUNJANUE ELLIS It's funny, my girlfriends think that because I am married to a fashion designer, I get all thes... LORI LOUGHLIN CONOR MCGREGOR JOAN DIDION I was elected to solve problems, and I don't think it's conservative to have bad roads; I do... BRIAN SANDOVAL HUGH JACKMAN Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids ... BILLY BOB THORNTON I don't put a girl in a box and clap my hands three times, and she's gone. I get in the box,... DOUG HENNING LUKE BRYAN LAILA ALI TOM CRUISE I don't know why my smile has become a signature pose. I think it's a nice change. I think p... ARIZONA MUSE What cracks me up is people who think I don't take baseball seriously. It's the most importa... BRADY ANDERSON I don't think I've had a holiday in my entire life that wasn't about my dad's work. KAT DENNINGS TRACY MORGAN HUGH LAURIE MARTIN GORE OPRAH WINFREY If it's a whole show of my own, I'll do more of what I think Del Shannon is. But for shows l... DEL SHANNON I look at my voice and my abilities as a gift. I don't feel that I can even take any credit for ... EMMYLOU HARRIS You really think that on my films people tell me what to do? I don't think so. On my films I dec... BAZ LUHRMANN RICHARD M. NIXON CHRISSY TEIGEN AMY TAN CATE BLANCHETT AVRIL LAVIGNE I have no deep-seated desire to be famous; that's not what's driving me, so if it's some... CAM MILLIE BOBBY BROWN My background was fairly conservative, and I think there's a strong notion of duty in a backgrou... DAMIAN LEWIS KEVIN NASH I think the whole mission of being here on Earth is to accept what you have, and my journey was to a... MICHAEL NYQVIST I don't really care what other people see me as. I seriously don't. I've always worried ... KAJOL VERONICA ROTH I internalize everything, keep everything inside. I'm not used to spilling my guts, and when you... DAVE BAUTISTA I'm not a great actor - let's face it. I don't have a great deal of scope. There are cer... STEVE MCQUEEN I think I've developed a sort of ADD for geography now. When I've been in a country for too ... ELIZABETH DEBICKI BRYAN SINGER LAUREN BACALL I used to do a lot of comedy. I don't know what happened. I think it's my face. EDDIE MARSAN KATIE MCGRATH I don't watch that much comedy. I think it's professional jealousy. That and a lack of suppo... MICHAEL IAN BLACK NEIL LABUTE HUGH JACKMAN LINDA RONSTADT Everything's a real passion to me - my children, my family, my work, travel. I don't play te... ROSALYN SUSSMAN YALOW I don't really have a career plan. There's no joy for me to just be a personality in my work... TAMMY BLANCHARD ELMORE LEONARD My mum always told me I was precious, while my dad always told me I was worthless. I think that'... ALAN CUMMING MARILYNNE ROBINSON Being black, Latino, or Asian is not a genre. Romantic comedies, thrillers, action - those are genre... MARA BROCK AKIL MONICA LEWINSKY I don't like my whole life dragged out. I don't want anyone to know about me, because I don&... LILLY PULITZER MILO YIANNOPOULOS MO FARAH JACKIE ROBINSON CHARLIE WATTS LORETTA LYNN I'll meet listeners who tell me what a great voice I have. But I don't have a great voice fo... IRA GLASS KERRY WASHINGTON I do believe that I deserve what I have. I don't think I'm entitled to it. That's a big ... ADAM LEVINE While I've had a great distaste for what's usually called song in modern poetry or for what&... DAVID ANTIN If I look what sport has done in my life, I don't think there's any doubt that sport can cha... BRYAN CLAY I think people have a misconception of me, period. My life has been a whirlwind sometimes, but it... LIL' KIM I think now there's much more of a confessional culture. That's not my bag. I come from a sl... BEN MENDELSOHN A lot of my friends are club people. It's not me. It's funny to represent that, because it&#... RANDY HARRISON TOM WOLFE CASS MCCOMBS CARRIE UNDERWOOD I don't believe that recordings should sound radically better than the artist, I think that'... MALCOLM WILSON Dude, I love playing drums, and I love being on stage, and I love recording. It's my life... it&... DAVE LOMBARDO TOM COLICCHIO I've had self-esteem issues for a really, really long time. Plenty of people think I'm ugly,... PARIS-MICHAEL KATHERINE JACKSON AUNJANUE ELLIS KEVIN HART JULIE ANDREWS I definitely have a shareholders' perspective. I'm not doing that altruistically. I'm do... HAROLD SIMMONS
More Lewis Black
Basically I wake up in the morning and I think everything's going to be great. I'm really ki... LEWIS BLACK What you don't do, if you're an adult, is decide that you're going to budget things thro... LEWIS BLACK Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it'... LEWIS BLACK What makes it difficult for people trying to follow a dream is that the whole time you feel like you... LEWIS BLACK Each of us is full of shit in our own special way. We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in th... LEWIS BLACK A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up a... LEWIS BLACK Let me be serious: divorce is a sacred institution between a man and a woman who hate each other. Go... LEWIS BLACK In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kenned... LEWIS BLACK I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane b... LEWIS BLACK When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. Yo... LEWIS BLACK I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that c... LEWIS BLACK If we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare. LEWIS BLACK When a country wants television more than they want clean water, they've lost their grip. LEWIS BLACK I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the ... LEWIS BLACK All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew. LEWIS BLACK If you really think there's a Santa, why don't you sit on the front steps all night in the freezing ... LEWIS BLACK If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached ... LEWIS BLACK The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn i... LEWIS BLACK It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebrities. If you're pursui... LEWIS BLACK I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. LEWIS BLACK Anybody who likes writing a book is an idiot. Because it's impossible; it's like having a ho... LEWIS BLACK You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned. LEWIS BLACK I think that many things that go on in an art school have a tendency to undermine confidence, and th... LEWIS BLACK Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas. LEWIS BLACK People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single. LEWIS BLACK One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'... LEWIS BLACK That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset some... LEWIS BLACK Do you know what 'meteorologist' means in English? It means liar. LEWIS BLACK You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sente... LEWIS BLACK When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would... LEWIS BLACK Democrats should be focused on which way we can help the most people in this country, and Republican... LEWIS BLACK If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd... LEWIS BLACK And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that c... LEWIS BLACK What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holida... LEWIS BLACK When you're fund-raising for schools, then something's wrong. We seem to have lost some sort... LEWIS BLACK In Vegas, you have an audience you can't find anywhere else. It's from all over the country.... LEWIS BLACK There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. LEWIS BLACK I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed t... LEWIS BLACK Jerry Falwell said that the reason that September 11th happened, the reason that God allowed it to h... LEWIS BLACK One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension ... LEWIS BLACK My parents are the last of the middle class. My father worked for the government designing sea mines... LEWIS BLACK If you yell about one woman, you're not a misogynist. If I yell about Michelle Bachman, that doe... LEWIS BLACK I had more material on weather than anyone else, I guess, ... back when I was traveling a lot [on th... LEWIS BLACK When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever... LEWIS BLACK If you listen to a song and get an image in your head, and then you go home and watch mtv and the im... LEWIS BLACK I'm a happy person but an angry citizen. LEWIS BLACK Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and cree... LEWIS BLACK I'm going to make my transition to weatherman soon, LEWIS BLACK In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al ... LEWIS BLACK It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good bus... LEWIS BLACK If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islan... LEWIS BLACK They're so broke that they've actually cut essential services. In many places, they've cut policemen... LEWIS BLACK Who knew that the devil had a factory where he made millions of fossils, which his minions distribut... LEWIS BLACK These ballot initiatives remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever ... LEWIS BLACK And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to yea' - but I flunked that co... LEWIS BLACK Why would you hire MTV to do music? MTV has nothing to do with music, ok? MTV is to music as KFC is ... LEWIS BLACK If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a po... LEWIS BLACK There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. LEWIS BLACK “It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we’ve got rockets, w... LEWIS BLACK If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islan... LEWIS BLACK Fantasy football is out of control, LEWIS BLACK If you want to elect Bush, that's the prick that I'm gonna yell about. If you want to elect John Ker... LEWIS BLACK I'm just so looking forward to seeing Dick Cheney because it's like the sighting of a rare white elk... LEWIS BLACK Now I must leave you as you enter the world that is Fuck. You are fucking lucky to be here. It's alm... LEWIS BLACK As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic. LEWIS BLACK Everybody's always asking me about my blood pressure. They did an interview once where they hook... LEWIS BLACK I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send... LEWIS BLACK It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, ... LEWIS BLACK I would like to play Pebble Beach at some point. I keep waiting for them to call and ask me to that ... LEWIS BLACK Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I ye... LEWIS BLACK This is how sad my life is: I got a scar from scratching my chicken pox too much. That's my big ... LEWIS BLACK A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a bill... LEWIS BLACK What I've found in my career is that 70 to 75 percent of comics are nice and have some sense of ... LEWIS BLACK Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jo... LEWIS BLACK No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus, and my mother still tho... LEWIS BLACK We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe. LEWIS BLACK Just relax and breathe through your ass. LEWIS BLACK It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we’ve got rockets, we�... LEWIS BLACK Its absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, weve got rockets, we... LEWIS BLACK I do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk ... LEWIS BLACK KAREN BLACK KAREN BLACK KAREN BLACK KAREN BLACK KAREN BLACK KAREN BLACK KAREN BLACK KAREN BLACK KAREN BLACK KAREN BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK CILLA BLACK CONRAD BLACK HOLLY BLACK My father, a mining engineer and colliery manager, gave his brood many advantages, not least of whic... JAMES BLACK Whenever I tour my district and I ask small businesspeople 'what can I do to help?,' they te... DIANE BLACK I drive a lot. Just for pleasure. Sometimes I'll get in the Cadillac and drive around the city o... FRANK BLACK In addition to being a nurse, I'm also a small business owner and I taught at a local community ... DIANE BLACK We're here tonight to remember one of the heroes of the Scottish culture, ... Cmdr. Montgomery Scott... ALAN BLACK We rebounded really well and rebounding is the key if you are going to run, ALAN BLACK He made me the man I am today: proud of being Scottish, proud to be the fixer, proud to save the cap... ALAN BLACK Just because Scotty never got the girl, it did not mean he couldn't get a girlfriend, ... He was jus... ALAN BLACK This is definitely a reality check for us, we've just got to learn from this and move on. ALAN BLACK He is up there with the greatest the competition has seen. He is all over people with great foot spe... ALAN BLACK He was a little down afterwards, ALAN BLACK It was a very tough region, very tough competition and a very good golf course. ALAN BLACK This is great, this is a step in the right direction, but as we all know in every other sport, distr... ALAN BLACK It feels real good to see the kids do what they've done this season. They went undefeated (11-0 in t... ALAN BLACK REBECCA BLACK HOLLY BLACK The real enemy" is the totality of physical and mental constraints by which capital, or class societ... BOB BLACK You are what you do. If you do boring, stupid monotonous work, chances are you'll end up boring, stu... BOB BLACK BLACK ELK If you're going to exude naivete, you can't really... walk out there like it's a Sting s... FRANK BLACK BLACK ELK I read French much better than I speak. CARA BLACK One of my assets is my fitness. My fitness around the net and my movement: that's my defense to ... CARA BLACK Sport's always a good thing - it's healthy, and it takes your mind off other things. CARA BLACK HOLLY BLACK HOLLY BLACK HOLLY BLACK HOLLY BLACK HOLLY BLACK HOLLY BLACK HOLLY BLACK HOLLY BLACK HUGO BLACK DIANA BLACK HOLLY BLACK HOLLY BLACK I once rode a motorcycle across Tunisia, Algeria and Morocco! CARA BLACK CILLA BLACK HOLLY BLACK SHANE BLACK SHANE BLACK CILLA BLACK CONRAD BLACK HUGO BLACK BLACK ELK BLACK ELK CILLA BLACK HUGO BLACK KAREN BLACK REBECCA BLACK BLACK ELK JACK BLACK JACK BLACK HOLLY BLACK Misogynist is a word used by women about men who are able to describe women directly and accurately ... ROBERT BLACK HOLLY BLACK I once thought that I was the only man that persevered to be the friend of the white man, but since ... BLACK KETTLE HOLLY BLACK We sent Lifeline of Ohio a photograph of Bill a few years ago. But we had never been able to see the... BILL BLACK The final package is not yet decided. Neither of these institutions is out of cash. As we get to the... BILL BLACK The biggest stumbling block is that the owner's identity is tied to the company. A lot of our work i... BILL BLACK We're replacing two vans about 10 years old and (with) a ton of mileage, and one or the other has be... BILL BLACK If you had a one person, one vote situation and if a Metro candidate was to win, there's a real risk... BILL BLACK From a pure economic standpoint, I understand that this is a worldwide economic matter, but that sho... BILL BLACK From a pure economic standpoint, I understand that this is a worldwide economic matter, but that sho... BILL BLACK A special session may be premature, ... Do we have enough votes to do some of this? Is the governor ... BILL BLACK They need to perform at a higher level than their competitors. They need to solidify and diversify t... BILL BLACK Five years ago, he would have sold in a minute. Now selling is just one option. BILL BLACK CILLA BLACK It's likely these new-to-wireless people might be lower income, and pre-paid might actually be perfe... ANDREW BLACK There's an awful lot of people that still haven't gotten into the category and we ask ourselves the ... ANDREW BLACK There was a lot of really useful stuff here. I'm planning on coming back next year. ANDREW BLACK It appears that due to the sound and the noise, (the co-pilot) was unable to understand what the pas... ANDREW BLACK We've ruled out foul play on behalf of any of the passengers. We're looking at it strictly as a poss... ANDREW BLACK It's been slightly busier, and it was busy yesterday but nothing exceptional. ANDREW BLACK HOLLY BLACK HOLLY BLACK HOLLY BLACK Curiosity could be almost as powerful as desire. SHAYLA BLACK I want you to give all these chiefs of the soldiers here to understand that we are for peace, and th... BLACK KETTLE HOLLY BLACK BLACK ELK HOLLY BLACK No matter what we're trying to accomplish in life, or what career path we're trying to take,... LUCAS BLACK Because they could not determine when they were going to be clear to land, it made no sense to conti... ANTHONY BLACK
I don't think that everything on Broadway relates to us, and I think that's why we as black ... 
I've gotten to learn what's important in life and what's not important, and what to spen... 
I don't think that because I'm not married it's made my life any less. That old maid myt... 
I'm very focused on what I do professionally, and I'm very focused on my family, and I don&#... 
Barbie ruined my life! It's a really bad image for women. For a long time I thought I was deform... 
I am a racer. I'm not a race car driver. I am a racer. I race. That's what I do. I don't... 
People might think I'm very hard, what with my black make-up, my hair over my eyes, etc. My inno... 
Speed Reader: Nothing more than… "Getting knowledge in a fast way".
I never overtly analyse my own movies, I don't think that's my job to do that. I just muddle... 
I don't think I care about the hair as much as people think I do. It's just kind of there. I... 
You know, I don't think my music is important, I don't think it's changing the world, I ... 
It's fascinating that people, there's so many people now who will make judgments based on wh... 
Some people are really proud of me, and some don't like it. I don't really know what to tell... 
It's crazy because I have a scar on my right eyebrow, but people who don't know me very well... 
The roles that I feel I get, or handed to me, or whatever, are not that interesting. I don't thi... 
That's what I do this for, to secure my family's future. I don't care about anything els... 
I couldn't give away my husband's shoes. I could give away other things, but the shoes - I d... 
Acting is something I love. It's a great craft that I have a lot of respect for. But I don't... 
There's always room for your hard-core country songs, and that will always shine through, and I&... 
I'm Muhammad Ali's daughter, but my father and I are very different in that area. I don'... 
I want a world without war, a world without insanity. I want to see people do well. I don't even... 
What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, ... 
I don't think of myself as funny. I think of myself as rather grave, actually. And I'm suspi... 
If you took music out of my life, I don't know what I'd do. It's the one thing that I ha... 
I'm black, I don't feel burdened by it and I don't think it's a huge responsibility.... 
My own view is that taping of conversations for historical purposes was a bad decision on the part o... 
Some people, I think, think that because I don't take it as seriously as a lot of the girls do, ... 
No one in my family was a reader of literary fiction. So, I didn't have encouragement, but I did... 
I think that's what I love about my life. There's no maniacal master plan. It's just unf... 
I don't believe war is a way to solve problems. I think it's wrong. I don't have respect... 
A lot of people say to me, 'Stay grounded; be humble.' David Schwimmer was just like, 'Y... 
It's gone on my whole life, this David and Goliath syndrome that a lot of these smaller guys alw... 
Maybe it's a little depressing to think that my vision of a perfect world is actually so messed ... 
I know it's hard to blame the time, but there's a bit of an expectation for a summer movie. ... 
I remember my oldest son, Steve, saying to me once, 'I don't ever remember seeing you with a... 
I can't watch most of my work. Once I come on screen, all I can think of is 'What am I doing... 
People think my work is therapeutic. I don't see it that way. It's not like I'm saving m... 
I admire people's marriages, and I think it's a wonderful thing to have, but I don't thi... 
I really - I don't take my work that seriously, and I think that's what keeps me loose. If I... 
I'm a great admirer of secularism. At its best, I think it's one of the best things that we ... 
So I think it's - what was important to me is that I found that I can't change the fact that... 
I have never been offended. I don't know what it means. It's not that I disagree with it. I ... 
I work so hard for what I do. To achieve what I have has taken me half of my life to be able to achi... 
It kills me to lose. If I'm a troublemaker, and I don't think that my temper makes me one, t... 
It doesn't really change, actually. I think The Rolling Stones have gotten a lot better. An awfu... 
I wouldn't have dared ask God for all that He's given me. I couldn't have done it on my ... 
I don't think I consciously say, 'What would Olivia Pope do?' but there's a new thre... 
People complain about my exclamation points, but I honestly think that's the way people think. I... 
I don't think music is my job - I don't think about it that way, because I don't really ... 
I am a Christian person, and I do love the Lord, and I feel no matter who you are, what you believe,... 
It's funny how I use social media because I don't use it to promote my restaurants that much... 
I don't think that a vote for Barack Obama is a symbolic thing. I think it's much more than ... 
I get that racism exists, but it's not a catalyst for my content. I don't need to talk about... 
I have been called a nun with a switchblade where my privacy is concerned. I think there's a poi... 
There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. 
I love coloring books. I keep some by my bed. 
I've been invited to do a trio with a fantastic jazz guitarist and a harmonica player. 
Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that... 
I just remember the early days of Tenacious D. There was no talk or thought about doing a TV show or... 
There's something about a divorce in that even if your parents still love you, the fact that the... 
My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. 
All emphasis in American prisons is on punishment, retribution, and disparagement, and almost none i... 
I really love the idea of the poetically mad - the character that is imbued with the romantic madnes... 
To me I'm just a regular person going to the mall with friends, and now I'm in Forever 21 an... 
The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when th... 
And when I breathed, my breath was lightning. 
I need you to be happy. I need one of us to be happy. 
I can learn to live with guilt. I don't care about being good. 
It is the paradox of life that the way to miss pleasure is to seek it first. The very first conditio... 
Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space. 
I loved everything about show business, meeting the stars, the whole ambience. I was living every yo... 
Any time anyone fires bullets in an action movie that don't hit the target it immediately underm... 
An action film can have too much action; picture an equaliser on a stereo, with all the knobs pegged... 
I never ask for mercy and seek no one's sympathy. 
When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his ad... 
'Friday' is about hanging out with friends, having fun. I felt like it was my personality in... 
Back when I was helping put the swing into the swinging '60s, I used to hang out with Cathy McGo... 
They told me I had been sick twelve days, lying like dead all the while, and that Whirlwind Chaser, ... 