For many women, and a fair number of men, saying 'I'm sorry' isn't literally an apology; it's a ritual way of restoring balance to a conversation.
Deborah Tannen
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DEBORAH TANNEN There is more excitement, more amazement when a first is born. No subsequent babies can have that im...
DEBORAH TANNEN I would say 'woman' used to be a noun, and now it is a noun and also an adjective. And words...
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DEBORAH TANNEN Everything we say has metamessages indicating how our words are to be interpreted: Is this a serious...
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DEBORAH TANNEN The effect of dominance is not always the result of an intention to dominate.
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DEBORAH TANNEN While the requirements of a good leader and a good man are similar, the requirements of a good leade...
DEBORAH TANNEN We all know we are unique individuals, but we tend to see others as representatives of groups.
DEBORAH TANNEN I believe the switch from 'lady' to 'woman' was part of the women's movement. ...
DEBORAH TANNEN We tend to assume that we have a baseline of speech that's going to be normal in all contexts, b...
DEBORAH TANNEN My writing is about connecting ways of talking to human relationships. My purpose is to show that li...
DEBORAH TANNEN In some ways, siblings, and especially sisters, are more influential in your childhood than your par...
DEBORAH TANNEN There is probably no such thing as a level playing field in political campaigns.
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DEBORAH TANNEN It's a particularly modern myth that married people are best friends. The best-friend concept is...
DEBORAH TANNEN Everything you say in a family carries meaning from all that was said before. So with friends, there...
DEBORAH TANNEN For women, detailed conversation is our lifeblood, while for men it's just not as critical.
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DEBORAH TANNEN Life is a matter of dealing with other people, in little matters and cataclysmic ones, and that mean...
DEBORAH TANNEN We tend to look through language and not realize how much power language has.
DEBORAH TANNEN Relationships are made of talk - and talk is for girls and women.
DEBORAH TANNEN It was just so obvious that everyone wanted to talk about the mother-daughter relationship. I think ...
DEBORAH TANNEN The repercussions are so deep because our responses are emotional. When you think you're being snubb...
DEBORAH TANNEN The study of gender and language might seem at first to be a narrowly focused field, but it is actua...
DEBORAH TANNEN A double bind is far worse than a straightforward damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't dilemma....
DEBORAH TANNEN When people realize that in the long run you may be turning off the audiences more, even though they...
DEBORAH TANNEN Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as sa...
DEBORAH TANNEN When you feel that the people you are dealing with day to day don't have manners, it gives you the f...
DEBORAH TANNEN Many of us dismiss talk that does not convey important information as worthless - meaningless small ...
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DEBORAH TANNEN It's our tendency to approach every problem as if it were a fight between two sides. We see it in he...
DEBORAH TANNEN Where the daughter sees power, the mother feels powerless. Daughters and mothers, I found, both over...
DEBORAH TANNEN The contrasting focus on connection versus hierarchy also sheds light on innumerable adult conversat...
DEBORAH TANNEN The political Right is particularly vehement when it comes to compromise. Conservatives are now stro...
DEBORAH TANNEN Birth order is fascinating, and it is forever.
DEBORAH TANNEN Conflict can't be avoided in our public lives any more than we can avoid conflict with people we...
DEBORAH TANNEN Sister relationships span a huge range, from best friends to worst enemies. From 'I adore her; I...
DEBORAH TANNEN A sister is the one person you can call in the middle of the night when you can't sleep or the o...
DEBORAH TANNEN Each person's life is lived as a series of conversations.
DEBORAH TANNEN Each underestimates her own power and overestimates the other's.
DEBORAH TANNEN A sister is like yourself in a different movie, a movie that stars you in a different life.
DEBORAH TANNEN One of the amazing things about writing fiction is that you do get to be other people.
DEBORAH EISENBERG I always need huge amounts of time to do anything.
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DEBORAH EISENBERG For me, most writing consists of siphoning out useless pre-story matter, cutting and cutting and cut...
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DEBORAH EISENBERG I had no thought of being a writer. I never wanted to do anything. I'm tremendously lazy.
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DEBORAH EISENBERG I just want to be on my own branch twittering.
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DEBORAH EISENBERG I'm a bit of an expert on anger, having suffered from it all through my youth, when I was both b...
DEBORAH EISENBERG I find it endlessly interesting, endlessly funny, the fact that we're rather arbitrarily divided...
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DEBORAH EISENBERG Fiction is a report from the interior.
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DEBORAH MOGGACH It's not about weight, it's about fitness, and one component of being fit is to have relativ...
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DEBORAH MOGGACH Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only...
DEBORAH REBER Encourage, lift and strenthen one another. For the positive energy spread to one will be felt by us ...
DEBORAH DAY Build me up and I with you. For we are more one than two.
DEBORAH DAY Encourage, lift and strengthen one another. For the positive energy spread to one will be felt by us...
DEBORAH DAY Personally, I think if a women hasn't met the right man by the time she's 24, she may be lucky
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DEBORAH SAMPSON I am indeed willing to acknowledge what I have done, an error and presumption. I will call it an err...
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DEBORAH NORVILLE There is a comfort in rituals, and rituals provide a framework for stability when you are trying to ...
DEBORAH NORVILLE So for years I kept mum about my passion for needle arts.
DEBORAH NORVILLE Children may not notice the positive moments in life unless we point them out to them.
DEBORAH NORVILLE It is hard to get in the habit of forcing yourself to find three things on a regular basis that you ...
DEBORAH NORVILLE Religious people are happier.
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DEBORAH NORVILLE I want my kids to be curious, to be interested in a lot of things, to be confident, and to feel they...
DEBORAH NORVILLE If I have time to exercise, I do it, but I don't fixate on numbers like weight or waist size. Nu...
DEBORAH NORVILLE Certainly the research shows that grateful people are more innovative thinkers.
DEBORAH NORVILLE My job as a television anchor or television reporter is not to proselytize.
DEBORAH NORVILLE There is no dramatic difference in happiness on the part of people who are wealthy.
DEBORAH NORVILLE 'Thank you power' is writing down the moments that are good in your life so that you can go ...
DEBORAH NORVILLE When my mother passed away I was 20.
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DEBORAH NORVILLE So many self-help ideas are like meringue - you take a big bite, and there's nothing there.
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DEBORAH NORVILLE Grateful people may recover faster from trauma.
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DEBORAH WILES God has blessed me with the gift of cheerfulness.
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DEBORAH REBER Your choice is to be active or passive in your responses.
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DEBORAH MAILMAN The Australian film industry is a small industry, so you have to really be flexible within working i...
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DEBORAH MOGGACH Repentance is a sweet solace to conscience as well as the most complete atonement to the Supreme Jud...
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Rather than asking someone, "How much does this cost?" Ask yourse...
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DEBORAH ABBOTT The goal is to create a new use for the manure that's surrounding the town ? as a biofuel.
DEBORAH ABBOTT The goal is to create a new use for the manure that's surrounding the town ? as a biofuel,
DEBORAH ABBOTT My problem is that I want to smoke the cigar and for someone else to light it. I want to blow out sm...
DEBORAH LEVY I think differently, I think it's about reaching everybody on every different plane and every di...
DEBORAH COX I take it to be from the greatest extremes, both in virtue and in vice, that the uniformly virtuous ...
DEBORAH SAMPSON One sees more and more people who are miserable and demented and you feel it would be both kind and ...
DEBORAH MOGGACH The best way to insure you achieve the greatest satisfaction out of life is to behave intentionally.
DEBORAH DAY I would love to be bilingual. I think having a second or third language at my bidding would open up ...
DEBORAH RANEY The biggest surprise, which is also the best, is that I didn't know I would love motherhood as m...
DEBORAH NORVILLE Once upon a time, about 10 years ago, I thought maybe I could write a mystery series about a midwife...
DEBORAH HARKNESS A government that operates under the guise of capitalism does not necessarily mean it is free of the...
DEBORAH SIMPSON Ninety percent of board members said they were there to make a difference in the organization.
DEBORAH HECHINGER Accessories in general add warmth to a room, but you can switch out your accessories to showcase onl...
DEBORAH CARPENTER I teach 18- to 21-year-olds - the 'Harry Potter' generation. They grew up as voracious reade...
DEBORAH HARKNESS In choosing where to live or vacation, we may be setting the stage for the play of ourselves, treati...
DEBORAH TALL We always see a few orders for wedding invitations with wedding dates around college graduation time...
DEBORAH GOMIA My mind became agitated with the enquiry - why a nation, separated from us by an ocean more than thr...
DEBORAH SAMPSON U.S. gasoline may be rattling people's cages. We're going to see another steep draw. That, Nigeria a...
DEBORAH WHITE I always thought that it was every performer's dream. That's the epitome of being an artist,...
DEBORAH COX 'Tulip Fever' did change my life. It did that thing that sometimes happens when a book takes...
DEBORAH MOGGACH It's not a failure if a marriage or partnership ends after a certain number of years. I think, i...
DEBORAH MOGGACH It's a very quick place to come in. I'm not going on 21 at lunchtime for anything unless it's a dire...
DEBORAH DURHAM They said the wreath is still on the door.
DEBORAH ROBERTS In whatever I may be thought to have been unnatural, unwise and indelicate, it is now my most ferven...
DEBORAH SAMPSON The song came out to be a gem, just came out to be a really, really interesting rendition of it.
DEBORAH COX