For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

The night before Tilbury, the Cordon Bleu gourmet dinner turned out Cordon Brown. Six out of ten to the chef for trying and ten out of ten to us for eating it.

We come across thirty or so hurried graves with makeshift wooden markers. 'Private Edwards, E.', a number, and that was all. Fourteen days ago he was alive, thinking feeling, hoping... If war was a game of cards, I'd say someone was cheating.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

One important thing I recall about India was that it was quiet. It was never noisy in the way that life was noisy in London.