For this entire walk, my desire had ashamed me, as if my wanting to be kissed that night mitigated the fault of Junior's sudden deafness. I'd been given stacks of reasons to blame myself for an act of violence committed by another. I had blamed my flirting for his subsequent felony. My college taught me: my rape was my shame. Everyone I'd trusted asked only what I might have done to let it happen. In my gut, I'd always believed I'd caused it. I finally questioned it.
Aspen Matis
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More Aspen Matis
The way to self-love and admiration is to behave like someone whom you love and admire. ASPEN MATIS It felt amazing to make visible my boundaries. The rumors dissipated, then changed. Event... ASPEN MATIS I walked home holding Tom’s hand, not letting it go even as he tottered across a soccer field wher... ASPEN MATIS I don’t remember having one conversation with my dad in the three days I was home, but looking bac... ASPEN MATIS The freedom of the woods lingered in me here; I felt lighter. I hoped to be changed by it, allow thi... ASPEN MATIS I wanted both things: strength in my independence and also this new desire. This felt like the begin... ASPEN MATIS I wanted him to declare in shock how overlooked and underestimated I had been ever since I was a chi... ASPEN MATIS My mom used to tell me, “I don’t like my mother, but I love her. ASPEN MATIS I began to lust after our conjoining life. ASPEN MATIS Happy people have everything to give. ASPEN MATIS Fire is not essential. 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