From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short.


P.G. Wodehouse

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I read my first P.G. Wodehouse when I was 12.
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If he had a mind, there was something on it.
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Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
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She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".
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Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
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He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more...
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And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
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Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasant...
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There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
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What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
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Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
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I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
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P. G. WODEHOUSE
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
P. G. WODEHOUSE
If I had had to choose between him and a cockroach as a companion for a walking-tour, the cockroach ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress rou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
She fitted into my biggest armchair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
I always advise people never to give advice.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one tha...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Golf...is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge th...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is f...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Flowers are happy things.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
It is good rule in life to never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and t...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE