Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.


Ellen DeGeneres

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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
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The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
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I think Ellen DeGeneres is just hysterical.
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The mainstream needs Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O'Donnell. The mainstream needs RuPaul.
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He doesn't mind getting dirty. You don't get your head split open or your lip split open by standing...
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I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, So...
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I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''...
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Public transportation notice: "When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and wat...
UNKNOWN
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Acting is fantastic, but to be able to create a whole world on celluloid is amazing. It's like t...
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Taking pre-natal vitamins can minimise birth defects and can lower the chances both of morning sickn...
HEIDI MURKOFF
Shaving your head is acceptable. It's when you start wearing toupees and brushing your hair over...
MOBY
WHEN the sun is over your head, there will be no shadow; similarly, when faith is steady in your hea...
ATHARVA VEDA
Give, but know how and what to give! Plant your seeds; nurture them well for the best fruits; from t...
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It's like giving birth to a kindergartener,
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Stop giving people the power to control your smile, your worth, your attitude and your day. Don’t ...
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The lower your case mix, the lower your reimbursement.
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Give according to your income, lest God will make your income like your giving.
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[love is like] Someone is camping in your head
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Lower your voice and strengthen your argument.
LEBANESE PROVERB
Lower your voice and strengthen your argument.
LEBANESE PROVERB
Lower your voice and strengthen your argument.
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We'd like to see the company put up for sale, ... VISX [management] is giving lip service to a sale.
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It's almost like giving birth to a child. It's amazing.
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Move every day. Like taking a shower and brushing your teeth. Make it a part of your everyday life.
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Taking on too much of other people's drama is just a poor excuse for not taking ownership and contro...
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It looks like a human shape, ... It's stops with your knees and it's as high up as your head.
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It's one thing to be bitter about the circumstances of your birth, but another to drill your bittern...
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Your generous giving is meaningless unless it is needed and appreciated.
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The sky's the limit if you have a roof over your head.
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It is better for your heart than your head to be your eye.
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Liana is really starting to understand the concept of taking what she can get and not forcing it.
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It is better to live in your heart than your head.
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Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.
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The idea is not to increase intensity, but to challenge your body by forcing it to recover more quic...
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Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
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Before this very birth, your awareness was present. After this death your awareness will still be pr...
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You had no right to do this, ... You're way over your head.
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Experimenting with drugs is like target practice where your head is the bull
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SHIV NADAR
It [giving birth] was easier than having a tattoo."
NICOLE APPLETON
Sometimes you just have to bite your upper lip and put sunglasses on.
BOB DYLAN
I can't take anything you don't give me. Stop giving me power over your life.
CHELSEA M. CAMERON
Birth is the scariest event of most peoples' lives. You have to feel safe enough in your own mind be...
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Great area for a hide! Thanks Bill and Ellen for all your great hides ... I feel like an explorer ch...
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Stop a minute, right where you are. Relax your shoulders, shake your head and spine like a dog shaki...
BARBARA KINGSOLVER
He stuck the pencil over his ear, looking unconvinced. "Mmm. What position would you be the most com...
TAMMARA WEBBER
Call your credit-card company and see if they'll lower your interest rate on your debts.
JANE BRYANT QUINN
Train your head and hands to do, your head and heart to dare.
JOSEPH SEAMON COTTER, JR.
Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success.
JERRY SEINFELD
Your giving predicts your living.
JOHN DI LEMME
Your birth did not come first, your goal was defined first and only afterwards were you sent to fulf...
SUNDAY ADELAJA
Isn’t it wonderful to give birth to your own kind?
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Life has no beginning and no ending. It only begins right after your birth and end right after your ...
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"I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothepaste. I just want clean teeth that's all ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me be...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Don't hold onto things, it will only bring you pain.
ELLEN DEGENERES
That's what life is all about. There's a lot of crying. So you'd better cry now and get used to it.
ELLEN DEGENERES
The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I still get scared at night. Every tiny creak, every little noise, I open my eyes real wide and list...
ELLEN DEGENERES
[• Ellen DeGeneres , who was praised for her graceful performance as host of the Emmy Awards that ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
We'll go see some theater, and we'll hang out and do some stuff there. We'll go to clubs, ... Ellen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I feel sorry for the newscasters you know? We can turn it off. But that's their job and they have to...
ELLEN DEGENERES
"I'm feeling so good. I feel like a million bucks. I'm focused, I'm alert, I'm zippy and top of my g...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
ELLEN DEGENERES
"I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises."
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It's definitely a heterosexual feeling, but it's directed at you.
ELLEN DEGENERES
Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old w...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from......
ELLEN DEGENERES
Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The first house I bought was a little Spanish bungalow on Clinton Street in West Hollywood, right be...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got re...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Anne wrote it for me and directed, so I was stuck with it, ... We always got along. It's almost gros...
ELLEN DEGENERES
New Orleans is my hometown, and our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my...
ELLEN DEGENERES
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There w...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I've started a record label, so I get to nurture new ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getti...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses,...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slo...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these d...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's c...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the lov...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I say always follow your passion, no matter what, because even if it's not the same financial su...
ELLEN DEGENERES
There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would ...
ELLEN DEGENERES