God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him

Womens brains are like a 9 by 10 rubiks cube, they're confusing.

The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed