HEATHEN, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
Ambrose Bierce
Related
Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something he can see and feel.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT HEATHEN, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel. Ac...
AMBROSE BIERCE BOUNTY, n. The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he ...
AMBROSE BIERCE He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
PROVERB A fool can no more see his own folly than he can see his ears.
WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY A fool can no more see his own folly than he can see his ears
WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY If I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to energy, and fall down and worship it
MARK TWAIN APOSTATE, n. A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has...
AMBROSE BIERCE MAUSOLEUM, n. The final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCE Where lives the man that has not tried,
How mirth can into folly glide,
And folly into sin!
SIR WALTER SCOTT [Saint Anthony] said, in his solitude, he sometimes encountered devils who looked like angels, and o...
ELIZABETH GILBERT If you can visualize the whole of spring and see Paradise with the eye of belief, you may understand...
SAID NURSI APRIL FOOL, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
AMBROSE BIERCE He who is satisfied with what he has, is a rich man.
-Nabil N. Jamal
NABIL N. JAMAL I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES He that has light within his own clear breast may sit in the center, and enjoy bright day: But he th...
JOHN MILTON Experience, n. The wisdom that enables us to recognize as an undesirable old acquaintance the folly ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE You can see he clearly has something on his mind.
DEAN POMERLEAU I read and feel that same compulsion; the desire to possess what he has written, which can only be s...
PATTI SMITH PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
AMBROSE BIERCE Whenever you see a fellow-creature in trouble, remember that he
is a man.
UNKNOWN He that has light within his own clear breast May sit in the centre, and enjoy bright day: But he th...
JOHN MILTON He that has light within his own clear breast
May sit i' the centre, and enjoy bright day:
But...
JOHN MILTON The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE Heathenism is a state of mind. You can take it that I’m referring to one who does not see his worl...
DAVID BOWIE Strange! that a Man who has wit enough to write a Satyr; should have folly enough to publish it.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN He'd already identified me as a heathen, and I hoped he wouldn't try to change that.
MARSHALL THORNTON To attempt the destruction of our passions is the height of folly. What a noble aim is that of the z...
DENIS DIDEROT Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give.
MELODY BEATTIE Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.
MARK TWAIN It's a time where kids can showcase their talents and feel free to worship however they want to. A l...
MARCUS MANN But he that hides a dark soul and foul thoughts benighted walks under the mid-day sun; Himself is hi...
JOHN MILTON Heathenism is a state of mind. You can take it that I'm referring to one who does not see his wo...
DAVID BOWIE CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.
AMBROSE BIERCE It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.
EPICURUS EXPERIENCE, n. The wisdom that enables us to recognize as an undesirable old acquaintance the folly ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Man is a feeble creature, to whom only submission and worship are besoming. Pride is insolence, and ...
BERTRAND RUSSELL But who would rush at a benighted man, and give him two black eyes for being blind?
THOMAS HOOD But who would rush at a benighted man, and give him two black eyes for being blind?.
THOMAS HOOD When God loves a creature he wants the creature to know the highest happiness and the deepest misery...
THORNTON WILDER He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks.
FRANCOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks.
FRANCOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD A man who has nothing which he cares about more than he does about his personal safety is a miserabl...
JOHN STUART MILL I feel pity For people who show proud n attitude to me ....coz they just need an attitude n proud to...
NEYHA SAHU I don?t know if this sport is ready for Marcos Ambrose. He?s something else. He?s the biggest racing...
EDDIE WOOD A young outcast will often feel that there is something wrong with himself, but as he gets older, gr...
CRISS JAMI Wise people say it is folly to think anybody perfect; and as to likes and dislikes, we should be fri...
CHARLOTTE BRONTë And it seems to have hit a chord in the hearts and minds of people who see it, who feel that it has ...
BOBBY MORESCO A hero is not someone who does something courageous when he has nothing to lose and something to gai...
ARTHUR FORMAN He must pull out his own eyes, and see no creature, before he can say, he sees no God; He must be no...
JOHN DONNE A man who has nothing for which he willing to fight; nothing he cares about more than his own per...
ANONYMOUS He who lives without folly is not so wise as he imagines.
FRANCOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the c...
WILL ROGERS It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible Gods and Goddesses. To remember that the dull...
C.S. LEWIS I feel our church family has been open and willing to change because they feel worship is more than ...
CRAIG CASTLEBERRY There is something that an ordinary eyes can't see, ordinary ears can't hear, and usual touch can't ...
BRADLEY B. DALINA WORSHIP, n. Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A po...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing you can see as a worship leader is people getting involved and acting spontaneously.
AARON PIPKIN Brutes find out where their talents lie;
A bear will not attempt to fly,
A foundered horse w...
JONATHAN SWIFT Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is.
ALBERT CAMUS That's where guys separate themselves, that have that sixth sense really to feel those things and se...
CHARLIE TAAFFE WORSHIP IN SPIRIT AND IN TRUTH.
"Only those who obey the word of truth can truly worship God in...
MAC CANOZA REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
AMBROSE BIERCE The Christian missionary may preach the gospel to the poor naked heathen, but the spiritual heathen ...
CARL JUNG The Christian missionary may preach the gospel to the poor naked heathen, but the spiritual heathen ...
CARL GUSTAV JUNG The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the c...
WILL SMITH He who lives without folly is not as wise as he may think.
FRANçOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD The one that can see years ahead has a telescope, but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.
WILL ROGERS These sorts of things can happen, identities can be switched, the emotional implications are somethi...
ATOM EGOYAN He who kills a man kills a reasonable creature, but he who destroys a good book kills reason itself.
JOHN MILTON Good Lord! who can account for the fathomless folly of the public?
RUDYARD KIPLING In the darkness, he is invisible, but I can still feel him beside me. Sometimes you don't have to se...
MAGGIE STIEFVATER He is unbelievably effective. I feel absolutely lucky to have a player like him, who can come in and...
FELIX MAGATH The great musicians are those who can reach people, who can make people feel something.
SAM RIVERS Even broken in spirit as he is, no one can feel more deeply than he does the beauties of nature. The...
MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT SHELLEY I don't know if this sport is ready for Marcos Ambrose. He's something else. He's the biggest racing...
EDDIE WOOD Bowie has been in my mind as someone who disappeared from the public for a long time and then emerge...
DOUGLAS HODGE Never feel shame for trying and failing for he who has never failed is he who has never tried.
OG MANDINO He is very special in the sense of what he has gone though. He has this inner drive, wherever it com...
LARRY JOHNSON Curran's whore comes to visit us," Jarek said in accented English.
The three men laughed ...
ILONA ANDREWS HYPOCRITE, n. One who, profession virtues that he does not respect secures the advantage of seeming ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Always have something to say. The man who has something to say and who is known never to speak unles...
DALE CARNEGIE Tell me, without the worship, who has ever obtained the supreme status?
SRI GURU GRANTH SAHIB A man who is not a fool can rid himself of every folly except vanity.
JEAN JACQUES ROUSSEAU A man who is not a fool can rid himself of every folly except vanity.
JEAN-JACQUES ROUSSEAU criminal, n. A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation...
HOWARD SCOTT He's a competitor and has great belief in himself. You can tell that on the mound. He's got that loo...
BILL BRYK Take this one in my belly. He (or she) is determined to be here. I can feel the force of his being. ...
REBECCA WALKER Men, women, and children who cannot live on gravity alone need something to satisfy their gayer, lig...
P. T. BARNUM He has a very good feel for the ice. He can do things on the ice that most people can't.
ERIC HEIDEN Developing a prototype early is the number one goal for our designers, or anyone else who has an ide...
WIN NG He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
TOM LEHRER There is a giant gulf between doing something and doing nothing. And someone who makes a lolcat and ...
CLAY SHIRKY Sometimes I feel like a has-been who never was.
SANDRA DEE He has this ability to connect with you, to create rapport with people, ... He's very warm and very ...
HOWARD CUTLER Dark matter has a gravitation effect on other objects. You can't see it, you can't feel it, but you ...
JODI PICOULT
More Ambrose Bierce
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
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AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE