Harping should be limited to musical instruments. - Charmainism

Forgetting is something time alone takes care of, but forgiveness is an act of volition, and only the sufferer is qualified to make the decision

Forgiveness is a powerful mental process that detoxifies our mental, spiritual and physical realms.

I lied," I said. ...
"I know it," he said.
"Then do something about it. Do anything, just so it's something."
"I cant," he said.
"There aint anything to do? Not anything?"
"I didn't say that," Grandfather said. "I said I couldn't. You can."
"What?" I said. "How can I forget it? Tell me how to."
"You cant," he said. "Nothing is ever forgotten. Nothing is ever lost. It's too valuable."
"Then what can I do?"
"Live with it," Grandfather said.
"Live with it? You mean, forever? For the rest of my life? Not ever to get rid of it? Never? I cant. Dont you see that I cant?"
"Yes you can," he said. "You will. A gentleman always does. A gentleman can live through anything. He faces anything. A gentleman accepts the responsibility of his actions and bears the burden of their consequences, even when he did not himself instigate them but only acquiesced to them, didn't say No though he knew he should.

... I realized that my father had learned something in his recovery that I still hadn't totally grasped: the past would only fester and eat away at us if we tried to hold on to it too tightly.

But you have to let go of it sometime, Gaby. You can't change the past, any of it, and hanging on just eats your life away.