Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.

Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

People are so nice, you know. It's such a credit to Howard Stern - the audience base that he created is such a special thing. It took him a long time to create this family of fans, and I was lucky to be a part of that for a while.

When I encountered rich people for the first time, I discovered that not only do they holiday in places that are hard to find on a map, but that they also use the names of seasons as verbs. When they asked me, 'Where did you summer and winter growing up?' I would usually say, 'As a child? The same place I springed and autumned.'

The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for different reasons.