Having a birthday around the holidays was never easy and, with every successive year, it felt more and more as if celebrating my birthday got thrown into the December holiday mix as an afterthought.
Chelsea Manning
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES Entrepreneurs don't have weekends or birthdays or holidays. Every day is my weekend, my birthday, my... RICHIE NORTON Traditionally Presidents Day was Washington's birthday. It was celebrated as a public holiday on... NIGEL HAMILTON Someone asked me when is my birthday? The poet inside me replied, "My birthday is on the l... ANAMIKA MISHRA We put a lot of work into the season and it was great to get this last win. At the same time, it wil... ANDY CROOKS That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't... ALAN KING I remember when I was working at Sprint, I'd work on my birthday, New Year's Day, and even C... PRINCE ROYCE The whole family was out in the country, celebrating her birthday. LIZ ROSENBERG The star was celebrating her 47th birthday with her husband, film director Guy Ritchie and her two c... BARBARA CHARONE The star was celebrating her 47th birthday with her husband, film director Guy Ritchie and her two c... BARBARA CHARONE [His last posting came on July 29, Jennings' birthday.] Many thanks to all of you for your birthday ... PETER JENNINGS He goes off and everyone's just laughing. He makes people feel better. It was this 90-year-old's bir... JEFF WALKER He's more comfortable than last year. Last year he was thrown into the fire. This year he understand... ERIC BARBER This is too much reality for a Friday. AS GOOD AS IT GETS Even when I was an engineer, I was a comic on my job. At birthday and holiday parties, I was the one... LONI LOVE Most importantly, include potential tax payments in your budget of expenses. Plan ahead to pay taxes... CATE WILLIAMS Fourth of July. My birthday is July first, and my best friend's birthday is July fifth, so it... HILARIE BURTON I got my first camera when I was 21 - my boyfriend gave it to me for my birthday - but at that point... CARRIE MAE WEEMS [Tory MPs breezed into the meeting as if it was their birthday party.] We love it! ... rah, rah, rah... ALAN DUNCAN We're celebrating our seventh birthday...We had a pretty strong year, ... And we've sort of been str... ERIC SCHMIDT When I was a kid, for my birthday every year, my mother made me pasta bechamel, which is rigatoni wi... GIADA DE LAURENTIIS This was a little more of a mix with run and pass. We were rough around the edges, but I think it wa... AL BORGES She gave me a certificate for an eight-week course to Clown College as a birthday gift. I'm still ex... SHERRY JENKINS I am six years old and instead of celebrating with birthday cakes, I chew on a piece of charcoal. LOUNG UNG I'm an avid shoe fan. I got my first pair of Louboutins as a birthday gift from Jami Gertz. TOKS OLAGUNDOYE It's a weird thing, it seems I play every year on my birthday, but I always lose. MANNY LEGACE Having a Mary Poppins-themed birthday party when I was 5 - all my friends went in dresses, and I wen... POPPY DELEVINGNE I just want to take this opportunity to wish a Happy Birthday to all of you out there celebrating yo... WILLARD SCOTT You can celebrate birthday every year and fights like this (with Morales) comes once in a lifetime, FREDDIE ROACH I had Hallowe'en parties every year, as it was my birthday five days before. My parents would ac... BAT FOR LASHES BIRTHDAY BELIEF SYSTEMS
Idealism: Happy Birthday.
Capitalism: I shopped all day for your birthday.... UNKNOWN All I want for my birthday is to beat Simeon. Last year we came close, and this year we are more exp... MITCHELL MOORE He was a simple guy, a quiet person, always good-natured. On every birthday he would bring me someth... MARIA GOMEZ My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interes... FLIP WILSON When the game is on my birthday, it means a little more. We are undefeated and we want to go all the... WILL WALKER As far as those kinds of things, I also played at the concert to call for the release of Nelson Mand... JACKSON BROWNE I couldn't ask for anything better on my birthday than having the cup in my hands. It was a fantasti... STEVE COSTALAS I play PC and Xbox games at home, and I just got a PSP as a birthday present. UWE BOLL Working hours are never long enough. Each day is a holiday, and ordinary holidays are grudged as enf... WINSTON CHURCHILL I could never call myself an atheist; my parents could, quite happily. I always felt like there was ... ALEX CLARE I told my father I wanted to play the banjo, and so he saved the money and got ready to give me a ba... JACKSON BROWNE I'm over the moon to be involved in the 'Doctor Who' Christmas special. I can't quit... KATHERINE JENKINS I was put on a pony as a kid at some birthday party when you're all led around. VICTORIA PENDLETON Every year on my birthday, I start a new playlist titled after my current age so I can keep track of... CHRIS HARDWICK Celebrate your day of birthday as special day.Make a specific birthday wishes and write it down.You ... LAILAH GIFTY AKITA I think if you're planning a birthday, you plan it when the birthday is. I think it's a great idea t... DUANE CHRISTENSEN It was a very weird happening. But it feels good that I had so many friends from my home town here t... JOANNIE ROCHETTE Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new. SAMMY HAGAR With the Warner-Lambert merger completed, and having recently reached my 64th birthday, it is a good... WILLIAM STEERE I threw my son, Brandon, a rave for his birthday and I fully set it up like a crazy rave with lights... TOMMY LEE Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday; I was there... JEFF DUNHAM His birthday is something I do enjoy pointing out or celebrating or recognizing myself personally, b... DALE EARNHARDT JR I had a birthday party with my family and friends at a house, and Chipotle catered. It was beautiful... ANSEL ELGORT The only kids that attended my birthday parties any more were Goth ones, wondering if the celebratio... JIM DYAR, THE ZEUS GAMBIT As I approached my 95th birthday, I was burdened to write a book that addressed the epidemic of '... BILLY GRAHAM New Year's Day is every man's birthday. CHARLES LAMB They just wanted to make her birthday special. This is what Chelsea wanted to do. MARSHA BERRY As it turned out last year, that December deadline was meaningless, as the budget process went into ... BARRY WEINSTEIN I really gained what I needed with Delaney and that was a point guard, a leader on the floor. She wa... BRIAN MORLAN I like birthday cake. It's so symbolic. It's a tempting symbol to load with something more c... AIMEE BENDER As soon as I got out there I felt a strange relationship with the pitcher's mound. It was as if I'd ... BABE RUTH Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one's own - brightened the wor... ROBERT LYND I'm always excited about the new year. Every time I make it to another birthday it's a good deal. BRUCE KINZIE I quit high school on my birthday. It was my senior year and I didn't see the point. This was 19... BARRY WHITE I got my first tennis racket on my seventh birthday. And because we had a tennis court in our backya... TULLIAN TCHIVIDJIAN My dad was pretty into model airplanes, and then someone got him a remote-controlled car for his bir... JUSTIN HEINLY Today is my birthday and the crew surprised me with a cake. But this was not the best present I got ... GIANCARLO FISICHELLA Violet Eden!" Steph said sternly, sucking me out of my trance. "We have your dad's Amex, a green lig... JESSICA SHIRVINGTON Having studied at the Sorbonne, I spent my 21st birthday in Paris and celebrated with one of my prof... JOSEPH ABBOUD As I got more successful, I felt it was more incumbent upon me to help the other people. I did more ... MONTY HALL Actually my birthday was really March 13, but when you get to be this age you do what you want to do... ROY HAYNES As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. ASHLEY JENSEN Never touch my brother on his fucking birthday. JIM BUTCHER We look forward, ... to when Fidel Castro's birthday gives way to the possibility of celebrating dem... JOE GARCIA My every birthday wish was, 'I want to someday be on TV.' AWKWAFINA As a kid, I always went to therapists; the first time was when my parents were separated on my sixth... PETE WENTZ It's just less abuse, ... If I was thrown back into that every-down role here, I would do it, withou... LANCE JOHNSTONE Richard had sold Gillian's piano. He'd offered to ship it out to California, but neither Jess nor Em... ALLEGRA GOODMAN As a kid, I was always into art at the same time as computers, and eventually I realised I was makin... AARON KOBLIN They got more confidence as time went on and on. The more we let them stick around the worse it was. DAN GANDIN Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one's own - brightened the... ROBERT STAUGHTON LYND It is not as if I want to be a princess. Since I was four years old I've spent every birthday, shoot... MILI FAY I made a lot of different experiments with tapes at that time, until I finally realized around 1995,... CARSTEN NICOLAI We didn't wait for a holiday or a birthday or anything like that to get together. It was just the th... MARTHA DAVIS Cakes are special. Every birthday, every celebration ends with something sweet, a cake, and people r... BUDDY VALASTRO It's absolutely great. Especially as my birthday is on New Year's Eve. DIANNE THOMPSON It's great for the fans. And if it's half as crazy as it was [Sept. 25 against the Giant's Eli Manni... DREW BREES I got my first pilot lessons for my 16th birthday, ... I was scared the first time I tried it, but I... ERIC HOFFMAN As soon as I got out there I felt a strange relationship with the pitcher's mound. It was as if ... BABE RUTH I get stronger as the game goes on. I get more confident as the game goes on. I felt I was able to m... AARON COOK It’s my birthday, Horus insisted. Wish me happy birthday! “Happy birthday!” I yelled. “... RICK RIORDAN (Monaco's) going to be much improved from last year and I think she'll be a lot more comfortable def... GREG DIERKS As I approached my 18th birthday and prepared to enter military service in World War II, I was recom... THOMAS S. MONSON At her birthday, my seven-year-old daughter will say that she wants these big cakes and certain expe... GORAN IVANISEVIC A birthday is a very big thing. It should be big from the minute you wake up. It should be such a bi... CATHERINE RYAN HYDE And so we take a holiday, a vacation, to gain release from this bondage for a space, to stand back f... EVELYN UNDERHILL On my 14th birthday, my grandfather and my grandmother gave me the best birthday present ever: a dra... JARRETT J. KROSOCZKA Last year was pretty rough after having such a strong start. This year, we put even more time into i... CLAYTON SMITH This is the best birthday present that I have got in my life. I'm going to turn 40 and I will never ... DANIELLE GOYETTE Its amazing, I cant ask for anything more as a birthday gift, ... Ive wanted to win a big race like ... BOBBY BUTLER
More Chelsea Manning
Unfortunately, it seems to me that when it comes to issues affecting the trans community, most peopl... CHELSEA MANNING Suffrage is not a right afforded to everyone. Rather, voting is a privilege in the United States - a... CHELSEA MANNING Patriotism is often the cry extolled when morally questionable acts are advocated by those in power.... CHELSEA MANNING I've been a huge fan of Marc Jacobs for many, many years, even going back to when I was wearing ... CHELSEA MANNING Gender presentation should reflect the person that you are. When you lose control of your gender pre... CHELSEA MANNING When I chose to disclose classified information, I did so out of a love for my country and a sense o... CHELSEA MANNING As a young queer kid growing up, I explored my identity through the Chicago and Washington, D.C., cl... CHELSEA MANNING The fight for justice for the transgender community is largely invisible to our fellow citizens, des... CHELSEA MANNING The insecurity that comes from being behind bars with, at best, imperfect oversight makes us all fee... CHELSEA MANNING The evidence is overwhelming that it should be deemed as such: solitary confinement in the U.S. is a... CHELSEA MANNING While incarcerated, I had no bank statements, no bills, no credit history. In our interconnected wor... CHELSEA MANNING In the years preceding my imprisonment, I worked as a software programmer, designing and developing ... CHELSEA MANNING The one place I never felt at all comfortable in the military was in private circles of conversation... CHELSEA MANNING I do not think that Caitlyn Jenner's transition was easy. Coming out and transitioning as a publ... CHELSEA MANNING The U.S. needs legislation to protect the public's right to free speech and a free press, to pro... CHELSEA MANNING We can work to get queer and trans people out of the prisons and jails and off the streets, and to i... CHELSEA MANNING Shortly after arriving at a makeshift military jail at Camp Arifjan, Kuwait, in May 2010, I was plac... CHELSEA MANNING I spent a lot of time denying the idea that I could be gay or trans to myself. From the ages of 14 t... CHELSEA MANNING A doctor, a judge, or a piece of paper shouldn't have the power to tell someone who he or she is... CHELSEA MANNING After years of hiding and holding off because of the trial, I finally announced my intent to change ... CHELSEA MANNING On the night of 4 November 2008, Barack Obama was elected on a platform of 'hope' and 'c... CHELSEA MANNING As outrageously counter-intuitive as this might seem, the most hardened terrorists and criminals are... CHELSEA MANNING Living such an opaque life has forced me never to take transparency, openness, and honesty for grant... CHELSEA MANNING As I rebuild my life, I remind myself not to relive the past. CHELSEA MANNING There are very few distinctions between el bueno and el malo en la prision militar. Instead of the g... CHELSEA MANNING The unique problem for transgender women in prison is that our health and welfare are also the respo... CHELSEA MANNING Let's protect sensitive sources. Let's protect troop movements. Let's protect nuclear in... CHELSEA MANNING The real power of mass data collection lies in the hand-tailored algorithms capable of sifting, sort... CHELSEA MANNING Counter-insurgency warfare is not a simple thing... it's not as simple as, like, good guys versu... CHELSEA MANNING Through every struggle that I have been confronted with and have been subjected to - solitary confin... CHELSEA MANNING You start to forget about the world outside - it's not relevant or relatable anymore. The darkes... CHELSEA MANNING By the time I enrolled in the military at 20, I had spent years in denial about who I really was. I ... CHELSEA MANNING I began to fear that I was forever going to be living in a hot desert cage, living as and being trea... CHELSEA MANNING I believe that when the public lacks even the most fundamental access to what its governments and mi... CHELSEA MANNING We should all be able to live as human beings - and to be recognized as such by the societies we liv... CHELSEA MANNING I came out publicly as transgender and began hormone replacement therapy while in prison. When I was... CHELSEA MANNING Our society's dependence on imagery says a lot about our values. CHELSEA MANNING In my experience, working as an intelligence analyst with my own pool of sources numbering close to ... CHELSEA MANNING The past will always affect me, and I will keep that in mind while remembering that how it played ou... CHELSEA MANNING When you're a kid dreaming, anything seems possible. CHELSEA MANNING I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter. CHELSEA HANDLER The challenge is to keep it fresh. If you're talking about Britney Spears over and over, it'... CHELSEA HANDLER You can't fast-forward heartbreak, and you can't rewind love - and that's just one big b... CHELSEA HANDLER So many people: Lucille Ball is the earliest incarnation of a woman I thought was funny, Joan Rivers... CHELSEA PERETTI When my father announced his campaign for president on Oct. 3, 1991, I had already cast my vote in f... CHELSEA CLINTON There's something about the Pacific Northwest, the scale of it, and the fact that not so long ag... CHELSEA CAIN Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself. CHELSEA HANDLER My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do t... CHELSEA HANDLER My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good... CHELSEA HANDLER While watching the revelry in the Barn, I'd had an epiphany. Parties weren't just about who was who ... CHELSEA SEDOTI Wear an unusual accessory to complete your outfit. CHELSEA LEYLAND I've always been incredibly proud of both of my parents and proud of the work I had done private... CHELSEA CLINTON My grandmother, who passed away at the beginning of November, had a core adage in her life that '... CHELSEA CLINTON I hope telling stories though 'Making a Difference' - as in my academic work and nonprofit w... CHELSEA CLINTON The best thing about being a DJ is making people happy. There is nothing like seeing people get up f... CHELSEA LEYLAND My mother has often said that the issue of women is the unfinished business of the 21st century. Tha... CHELSEA CLINTON I believe that engaging in the political process is part of being a good person. CHELSEA CLINTON Oxford is wonderful. I'm having a great time. We do go out, but I still try to spend most of my ... CHELSEA CLINTON I certainly believe that all of my friends should have the right, as Marc and I did, to marry their ... CHELSEA CLINTON There's something else that my mother taught me, public service is about service. And, as her da... CHELSEA CLINTON I hope to make a positive, productive contribution, as cheesy as that may sound. CHELSEA CLINTON As a kid, I was pretty obsessed with dinosaurs and the day that my parents took me to Dinosaur Natio... CHELSEA CLINTON We need Hollywood to make movies and television shows about sexy female engineers. CHELSEA CLINTON My dad had always been a big decaf coffee drinker. But my mom had always been more of a tea drinker.... CHELSEA CLINTON My earliest memory is my mom picking me up after I had fallen down, giving me a big hug and reading ... CHELSEA CLINTON And every day that I spend as Charlotte and Aiden's mother, I think about my own mother, my wond... CHELSEA CLINTON For most of my life, I did deliberately lead a private life and inadvertently led a public life. CHELSEA CLINTON People recognize me. Most people are really nice. Sometimes people say, 'Hi, Chelsea.' CHELSEA CLINTON Changing laws and changing the political dialogue, while necessary, is insufficient to ensure that b... CHELSEA CLINTON I had seen people who had lost everything and everyone they loved to war, famine, and natural disast... CHELSEA CLINTON At the fourth grade level, girls at the same percentages of boys say they're interested in caree... CHELSEA CLINTON We have to do whatever we can to ensure that no child dies of diarrhea. CHELSEA CLINTON Role models really matter. It's hard to imagine yourself as something you don't see. CHELSEA CLINTON Determination gets you a long way. CHELSEA CLINTON Millennials regularly draw ire for their cell phone usage. They're mobile natives, having come o... CHELSEA CLINTON I love the fact that we are surrounded by this spectacular natural beauty that routinely strikes us ... CHELSEA CAIN That's who my mom is. She's a listener and a doer. She's a woman driven by compassion, b... CHELSEA CLINTON We need women who are at the head of a boardroom, like at the head of the White House, at the head o... CHELSEA CLINTON When I say that I went to grad school in Iowa City, people often assume that I went to the famed wri... CHELSEA CAIN I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd l... CHELSEA HANDLER I hope that my children will someday be as proud of me as I am of my mom. I am so grateful to be her... CHELSEA CLINTON I do really well in the traditional board games: Backgammon, Checkers. CHELSEA CLINTON If I could perform on stage with any musical act or performer, it would be Sugar Ray, just to fulfil... CHELSEA KANE I have traveled a fair amount, and I have visited some great cities. I love architecture and museums... CHELSEA CAIN I do feel like guys feel pressure to be funny with me, which is kind of annoying. It's a turn-of... CHELSEA PERETTI Millennials are often portrayed as apathetic, disinterested, tuned out and selfish. None of those ad... CHELSEA CLINTON My parents always asked me what I thought, listened to my opinions, articulated their diagnoses of o... CHELSEA CLINTON I never considered myself a supermodel or anything like that. I mean, I don't think I'm ugly... CHELSEA HANDLER The first sort of big present I remember getting from Santa Claus was quite a small telescope that I... CHELSEA CLINTON We're seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. 'Th... CHELSEA HANDLER The wounding legacy of segregation and growing up knowing adults who had worked for civil rights and... CHELSEA CLINTON Every day at some point I encounter some sort of anti-American feeling. CHELSEA CLINTON Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking - especially her. They're so strange and cha... CHELSEA HANDLER She couldn't get that a wanted a car that was a little broken. When something starts out perfect, it... CHELSEA SEDOTI I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denia... CHELSEA HANDLER It was Valentine's Day and I had spent the day in bed with my life partner, Ketel One. The two of us... CHELSEA HANDLER I only do private room karaoke where it's just me and one of my closest girlfriends. My mom alwa... CHELSEA PERETTI Jennifer Aniston is one of the most down-to-earth, low-key people I know. CHELSEA HANDLER I think that with podcasts, a lot of things are about fostering and having a direct connection with ... CHELSEA PERETTI I find the fact that more than 750,000 children still die every year around the world because of sev... CHELSEA CLINTON I'm a devilish kind of person, but I embrace it. I don't try to fight it. It's proven ve... CHELSEA HANDLER I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around... CHELSEA HANDLER There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers. CHELSEA HANDLER Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn't have to act out somebody else'... CHELSEA HANDLER I have never thought of my life as being an enigma. CHELSEA CLINTON I think our older people on our team will play a great role on our team this season. We graduated fi... CHELSEA BAKER The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life. CHELSEA HANDLER Jordan sounded like she had really lost the plot, and the only thing I can put it down to is hormone... CHELSEA JOHNSON I love vintage shopping in flea markets, vintage stores and even Ebay. CHELSEA LEYLAND My husband and I were excited about having a kid - it was having a baby that had us worried. We had ... CHELSEA CAIN I grew up in Washington State and then eventually found my way back to Iowa City for grad school. CHELSEA CAIN I've always been more interested in what happens after the bad thing has happened - the fallout ... CHELSEA CAIN Anyone who's married to Mariah Carey - I'm pretty sure - doesn't have a great sense of h... CHELSEA HANDLER Don't think about anything for too long. Even if it's off-the-wall, go for it. You'll ha... CHELSEA HANDLER I'm not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don't have any children, but I do think... CHELSEA HANDLER Fried chicken is my husband's favorite food. CHELSEA CLINTON When I was in New York, I got to see Joan Rivers do an hour of material, and it blew my mind. I don&... CHELSEA PERETTI When I was younger, I was shy. I was overweight. I wore glasses. I got teased a lot, I grew up watch... CHELSEA COOLEY I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal. CHELSEA HANDLER I cannot be Mary Hart - or even worse, Samantha Harris - and stand there with my hip out talking abo... CHELSEA HANDLER As the youngest of six kids, I grew up spending summers on Martha's Vineyard, and I was always t... CHELSEA HANDLER I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate. CHELSEA HANDLER being extraordinary is overrated. CHELSEA SEDOTI It's an unbelievable feeling. There's no words to describe how good this feeling feels right now. CHELSEA MCTIGUE I just go up to bat and try to stay relaxed, not get tense and swing. CHELSEA BAKER I don't pretend to be a great interviewer; I don't even pretend to be good at my job. CHELSEA HANDLER If Congress will pass a plan that gives real, voluntary Medicare prescription drug coverage ... then... CHELSEA CLINTON I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter. CHELSEA HANDLER If you talk about Lindsay Lohan for four or five days a week, you really can't bear to talk abou... CHELSEA HANDLER Have you ever been sued by a midget? It's not fun. CHELSEA HANDLER Gretchen Lowell was beautiful in a very grown-up way, in a sophisticated, confident way. It was more... CHELSEA CAIN She was a beautiful girl, but the lack of any spark dampened her prettiness. CHELSEA CAIN I started my own business because my parents had no dowry for me, and I was worried. I ran it from t... CHELSEA HANDLER I think if you're gonna do something as silly and lighthearted as entertainment, then why not be... CHELSEA HANDLER I would say that I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything in my life, including stand-... CHELSEA PERETTI Through their 'Making a Difference' franchise, I am excited to work with NBC News to continu... CHELSEA CLINTON I´ve learned about being able to accept myself with diabetes, and I´ve learned a lot about the di... CHELSEA JOHNSON I can´t remember life without diabetes, ... It´s part of me and I´ve accepted it. I didn´t thin... CHELSEA JOHNSON I can't remember life without diabetes. It's part of me and I've accepted it. I didn't think twice a... CHELSEA JOHNSON Jordan was yelling 'I don't want you to go anywhere near him'. I thought it was a joke and started l... CHELSEA JOHNSON After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe ca... CHELSEA HANDLER We went to a Barnes and Noble, where I picked up an unauthorized biography of M.C. Hammer, and ... CHELSEA HANDLER I had always dreamed of being a professional escort but never thought that there was any real money ... CHELSEA HANDLER There are many ways to get to know someone, and my favorite is seeing them naked in Happy Baby pose.... CHELSEA HANDLER Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jump... CHELSEA HANDLER Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger... CHELSEA HANDLER I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned. CHELSEA HANDLER Then they have the audacity to go shopping and pick out their own gifts. I want to know who the firs... CHELSEA HANDLER I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters CHELSEA HANDLER It's not the concept of marriage I have a problem with. I'd like to get married too. A couple times.... CHELSEA HANDLER We got to his place and it looked a lot like his personality. Just a bunch of space filler, nothing ... CHELSEA HANDLER One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern. CHELSEA HANDLER I look hot and, most of all, skinny. I love the day after throwing up. I felt like a feather. CHELSEA HANDLER I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush sp... CHELSEA HANDLER Lydia was the kind of friend whom people referred to as a 'party favor' -- always fun to be around b... CHELSEA HANDLER I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends. CHELSEA HANDLER He was all emotion all the time, constantly talking about his feelings and his profound love for her... CHELSEA HANDLER I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself. CHELSEA HANDLER Our relationship finally ended when he took to waking me up in the wee hours of the morning when he ... CHELSEA HANDLER Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends lik... CHELSEA HANDLER I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. CHELSEA HANDLER I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his... CHELSEA HANDLER My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and cal... CHELSEA HANDLER Have you ever experienced a pain so sharp in your heart that it's all you can do to take a breath? I... CHELSEA HANDLER At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbli... CHELSEA HANDLER I saw him for first time spinning fire out on the beach. Oh my god I totally thought that was hot! CHELSEA TELLER Ugly people kill people all the time. But when pretty people did, it got attention. CHELSEA CAIN I'm a late-night host that doesn't want to be tied down by time or television or even hostin... CHELSEA HANDLER It's a great accomplishment. I didn't care about anything else except winning this game. It's an Ind... CHELSEA KILTY I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looki... CHELSEA HANDLER And why is Heather wearing pink? Come on, people." Heather rolled her eyes and disappeared back... CHELSEA FINE I performed after 9/11 for relief workers down by Ground Zero. There were these men just coming back... CHELSEA PERETTI I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she'... CHELSEA HANDLER When you interview celebrities, they're so guarded so many times, they can't reveal anything... CHELSEA HANDLER Burning Man is such a huge part of my life and my identity. The things I believe make me a good pers... CHELSEA TELLER I think with our problems with hopelessness and cynicism that [the solution] ultimately has to come ... CHELSEA CLINTON How we use these surpluses in this moment of prosperity will determine America's future for decades ... CHELSEA CLINTON For all the tornadoes Arkansas has, and the ones that have hit around Little Rock, we never had one ... CHELSEA CLINTON I didn't wear my knee brace for the first time, so I really felt like I could move around. CHELSEA WAGNER We're goof balls. We don't really care a whole lot about what's going on around us, as long as we're... CHELSEA DAVIS I am excited to work with NBC News to continue to highlight stories of organizations and individuals... CHELSEA CLINTON Great guys exist. They may not be in the package you think you like, and they may not come when you ... CHELSEA HANDLER I read a lot of 'Nancy Drew' books as a kid and considered myself a bit of an amateur detect... CHELSEA CAIN Another thing I take issue with are people who take their dogs on "play dates," or even worse, peopl... CHELSEA HANDLER I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite th... CHELSEA HANDLER We play as a team. We don?t have one player. We have many players. CHELSEA MCTIGUE Movies were movies, whether they were old or new. They always captivated me, pulled me into worlds w... CHELSEA SEDOTI Movies were movies, whether they were old or new. They always captivated me, pulled me into worlds w... CHELSEA SEDOTI Phew, that was a close one. I just didn't seem to be able to get any good waves. I was lucky to get ... CHELSEA GEORGESON We were able to get them into foster homes within several hours. CHELSEA SHERIDAN Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink ag... CHELSEA HANDLER You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself. CHELSEA HANDLER Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not inter... CHELSEA HANDLER Along with the 97 percent of women who can see, I have never been a fan of redheaded men. CHELSEA HANDLER You get to learn about different cultures-the different parts of the country. The diversity is diffe... CHELSEA COWMAN I think it's a great opportunity, especially for students who have wanted to go out of state and cou... CHELSEA COWMAN We proved we could be safe and secure at home, and still have more allies and friends in the world. CHELSEA CLINTON Don't let your characters tell you what to do. They can be pushy. Some writers say that they cre... CHELSEA CAIN I'm really into the human interest thing. I really like regular people. CHELSEA HANDLER I love the right words. I think economy and precision of language are important. CHELSEA CLINTON