Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'

The White House is the finest prison in the world.

There's no job that will humble you like the White House press secretary job.

The White House has a secular, humanistic agenda.

There's nothing like white trash at the White House.

Now that my wine has been served in the White House, why not me? Who could talk to farmers better than I? Somebody even asked me the other day if I had anything in my platform about taxes. 'Hell yes,' I said. 'Great state. But I wouldn't want to live there.'