He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you when he actually had several and simply wanted to see you get soaked.
Lemony Snicket
Related Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyon... LEMONY SNICKET He's for you and wants to help you be the person He created you to be. CRAIG GROESCHEL You know what I'd love to read? A Dialogue between Bron and Shevek and Socrates. Socrates would love... JO WALTON Of Course God does not consider you hopeless. If He did, He would not be moving you to seek Him (and... C.S. LEWIS [Saint Anthony] said, in his solitude, he sometimes encountered devils who looked like angels, and o... ELIZABETH GILBERT When a goat is sweating, you won't know and he won't tell you. So stop broadcasting your suffering. ... THE INSPIRATIONIST Did it ever occur to you that when he told you he would come back he was lying? Many a man has done ... SAM J. CHARLTON You watch Derrick Brooks take back that interception, when he opened that stride up, he looked like ... JOHN FOX He actually had a good first inning. That was good to see. He can be tough. Both he and James have b... DENNY LEATHERS Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron... YOU QUANXI If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe... YOU QUANXI In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More... HARRY YOU The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes... HARRY YOU We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f... HARRY YOU He looked like he got a little stiff out there. When you get ahead 4-0, it's time to bury them. If y... AL MELNICK Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what ... OSWALD CHAMBERS And if he was kind and friendly and funny, and if he told you about places so beautiful that you wan... CAROLINE LEECH Nasty. It looks just like a fastball, then it's in on you. He looked outstanding. He looked scary, e... CESAR IZTURIS It seemed he was the perfect lover, at least for the moment. He did not live where you lived. He did... BEN GREENMAN I wish I had better insight to realize the financial strain he was under. He really wanted to help h... ANTHONY GRANT You can tell (he's upset) when he gets that look in his eyes. When you see that look, you know. But ... CONNER HOLM The light was everywhere. He would tell me later I looked like an angel... but he just looked like t... QUIL CARTER You gotta get that trimmed, or it'd look like you had an umbrella. GARY MOORE That saved one of my assistant coaches; that's all that did when he fumbled the ball. I'm not going ... GLEN MASON You could tell what he really wanted to do in life. Deep down, he really wanted to do it. He wanted ... BRYAN HASSLER Dean did not want to see anyone right now, but if he had to make a list of people he did want to see... T F LINCE When I look at that, I don't see that. Did he miss some throws that he should have made? Sure, and I... BRAD CHILDRESS Young man, if God had wanted you to see me that way, he would have put your eyes in your bellybutton... LILLIAN GISH (Yao) looked real good tonight. He was patient in the post and did what he had to. Yao is getting be... DARIUS MILES What you saw is what you got, ... He didn't have a stage persona. He was a very honest, open guy and... JOHN DENVER He's got quick hands. He attacks the ball aggressively. And you have to like his speed. He's just a ... WILLIE RANDOLPH As much angst as Phil undoubtedly shouldered, he protected us from that. And you could always tell (... CELIA WESTON He thought of it as a contest, like the children at school who would twist your arm and say Give in?... MARGARET ATWOOD If he had been as you and you as he, You would have slipped like him WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE If you had told me when he made the switch that he would be on the Olympic team, I would have said h... PAUL HEDRICK It was as though he had secrets, and he wanted you to know he would keep them for the pleasure of de... THOMM QUACKENBUSH Relaxing, experiencing nature and laughing are what rejuvenate me and make me feel happy. I believe ... SUI HE Since raised blood pressure is the major cause of stroke, the blood pressure lowering effect of pota... FENG HE As a young child, I suffered from poor health. My parents encouraged me to swim, which really improv... SUI HE I like to find old things and I picked up that arrowhead in tears, that broken point ... LI HE These findings provide strong support for the recommendations encouraging the public to consume more... FENG HE The average fruit and vegetable intake in most developed countries is about three servings per day, ... FENG HE They are the Chinese heroes. I am happy for their performance and the result is not the most importa... HE ZHENLIANG This will be conducive to the development of Sino-US relations and China's relationships with the re... HE YAFEI The best way to resolve Sino-US trade imbalance is to expand bilateral trade cooperation. Restrictin... HE YAFEI They are sorry there is no more Soviet Union and they don't know how to act. HE YAFEI We are willing to import more U.S. goods. HE YAFEI Even when he's making dumplings with peasants, he speaks memorized words and sounds like a People's ... HE WEIFANG This is a critical moment. There is a lot of opposition to continuing the reforms as they are today. HE WEIFANG I unequivocally state the wish that the Communist Party should become two parties. HE WEIFANG The situation exists in almost every well-known Chinese university. HE WEIFANG The government really wants to slow down investment, but it can't control local governments who have... HE FAN The new managed floating currency regime is just an interim system. There is a chance of a further w... HE FAN Eventually, we found that the situation there was more serious than what we imagined. HE CHANGCHUI Part of our mission is to find out what kind of assistance is required. HE CHANGCHUI When you reach out to God humbly, you'll find that He's already reaching out to you. CRAIG GROESCHEL The term 'overachiever' sort of makes it look like the person has mediocre talent and he jus... RICK PITINO Johann is so unselfish that he sometimes hurts himself. The reality is that he shoots the ball very ... DARRYL ADAMS You don’t tell a boy that he is a boy. You simply act like a man. MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA It would be nice to see the coach get fined or something like that when you know he is the problem, WADE BELAK Dusty did a great job and you could tell he wanted to be out there in that situation. DAN CALLAHAN If you live in an environment like that, everybody wants to blame somebody. In my mind, the biggest ... LEE COOK He used to do hand carved feet and he actually had a display rack that he would show me. These are t... KEN HEIDE What were the chances you'd ever meet someone like that? he wondered. Someone you could love forever... RAINBOW ROWELL You had to feel the swell change. You had to go with the change. He told me that. No eye is on the s... JOAN DIDION If a man, who says he loves you, won’t tell you the details of a private conversation between him ... SHANNON L. ALDER Watching him was like opening the door to a siniging telegram; you know it's supposed to be entertai... DAVID SEDARIS You could see it when he would hit a little bump in the road. He would start to get down and put ext... EVAN JUDGE He had no fear and he took the shots and drilled them. In life, you are going to be challenged and w... ED HOOI He seemed like a normal guy to me, and a little bit probably even above average when you consider th... KEVIN COSTNER There are certain things that we take for granted that simply would not have existed without the gre... ISABEL WILKERSON When you go out there and throw strikes, no matter who you are, you're hard to beat. That's what he ... ED EASLEY He had all of his pitches. He located them well and got ahead of the batters. He did all the things ... RICKY CRAWFORD I've always loved you, and when you love someone, you love the whole person, just as he or she is, a... LEO TOLSTOY I was astonished to see Adrian watching me, a look of contentment on his face. His eyes seemed to st... RICHELLE MEAD I think of Pope Gregory the Great. He wanted the cloister. He wanted to pray and study, and yet he w... RICHARD FOSTER You did JFK, Jr. and I watched that interview. I noticed you were nervous. He wanted to promote [the... BILLY BUSH That he would actually come and see people. When he's standing next to you shaking your hand, I have... WANDA TRAHAN No milk," I said. "No milk," said my sister. I watched my dad think about this... NEIL GAIMAN Stories are like spiders, with all they long legs, and stories are like spiderwebs, which man gets h... NEIL GAIMAN It's not like I was trying to be sexy but I had to get fit because I had to be able to do stunts... DANIEL CRAIG When you counsel someone, you should appear to be reminding him of something he had forgotten, not o... BALTASAR GRACIáN If you wanted to tell stories, he could tell them into the night. I used to kid that every story he ... MARLIN FITZWATER If he played in a system where he had to constantly have his back to the basket, he would not have b... DAVE ROGERS He who fights against monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster in the process. An... FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE You look back and are thankful that he reacted the way he did. It's not good to see him get into tro... MIKE HARGROVE That shows you if we could have had him at full tilt how much better we would have played. We weren'... PERRY WATSON It's rare that you get to actually cast the person that you are using as the type of actor you want ... WILL FERRELL You would be an idiot not to think he did it to evade capture . . . He is an outlaw, he believes the... DAVID GARRETT When you see a person acting violently, ask yourself whether he knows how powerful he is. If he knew... VIRONIKA TUGALEVA And you would have lost. We were surrounded. He threatened your life, and he would have made good on... BECCA FITZPATRICK My father, who was a doctor, died of pancreatic cancer. But he was clear about what he wanted done a... CARLOS GOMEZ He looked OK when I got to him. And then a couple miles later, you could tell he was starting to tig... TOM TAYLOR He did seem very genuine and actually looked like he had some little tears in his eyes. He gave me j... JULIE NELSON I saw George Bush at a benefit concert actually waving at Stevie Wonder. Someone had to tell him 'he... ANNE ROBINSON I first saw Kelly when he was catching for Baylor, and I was the pitching coach at Oklahoma State. Y... JOHN FARRELL He [Mann] always found the good in everyone. When you're dealing with someone who is so willing to h... HAZEL SMITH I have never seen a man break the way he did. And he broke. Set half the damn Covenant on fire.... JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT But when you started dating someone, you could never be sure what you were getting into. You had to ... LISA KLEYPAS I see it on his face. I hear it when he talks. We look out at the world and we see the same thing: N... MARSHA NORMAN
More Lemony Snicket
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LEMONY SNICKET Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dream... LEMONY SNICKET Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because yo... LEMONY SNICKET Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of ho... LEMONY SNICKET Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you... LEMONY SNICKET It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who i... LEMONY SNICKET The expression 'Those who can't do, teach' is a curious one, because if you look at the world , you'... LEMONY SNICKET Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they c... LEMONY SNICKET Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness. LEMONY SNICKET it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person... LEMONY SNICKET Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal ... LEMONY SNICKET Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that th... LEMONY SNICKET Some of the bravest and most resourceful people in the world have come to bad ends LEMONY SNICKET The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history. LEMONY SNICKET The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught. LEMONY SNICKET A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give ... LEMONY SNICKET The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it migh... LEMONY SNICKET People don't always get what they deserve in this world. LEMONY SNICKET Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? 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LEMONY SNICKET Yo no sé si os habréis dado cuenta, pero a menudo las primeras impresiones son absolutamente equiv... LEMONY SNICKET Pero un tipo de libro que a casi nadie le gusta leer es un libro sobre leyes. Los libros sobre leyes... LEMONY SNICKET Así pues, a menos que hayáis sido muy, muy afortunados, sabréis que una buena y larga sesión de ... LEMONY SNICKET Hay muchos, muchos tipos de libros en el mundo, lo cual tiene sentido porque hay muchas, muchas clas... LEMONY SNICKET Read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night long, weeping and tearing out your hair. LEMONY SNICKET There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. LEMONY SNICKET There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, ma... LEMONY SNICKET The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great s... LEMONY SNICKET They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't under... 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You're my partner! Your job is to iron my shirts and cook my om... LEMONY SNICKET Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence. LEMONY SNICKET Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another. LEMONY SNICKET No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what... LEMONY SNICKET Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece o... LEMONY SNICKET Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so. LEMONY SNICKET All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now... LEMONY SNICKET We believe in an aristocracy... Not an aristocracy of power, based on rank or wealth, but an aristoc... LEMONY SNICKET You write poetry?" Klaus asked. He had read a lot about poets but had never met one. "Just... LEMONY SNICKET Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make -- bombs, for instan... LEMONY SNICKET Is it useful to feel fear, because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless, because nasty... LEMONY SNICKET There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them. LEMONY SNICKET Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the ... LEMONY SNICKET Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them LEMONY SNICKET I think we'll always miss our parents. But I think we can miss them without being miserable all the ... LEMONY SNICKET We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. I... LEMONY SNICKET It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are r... LEMONY SNICKET Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down. LEMONY SNICKET We weren't friends[...]We were more like jigsaw pieces, each of us part of the same big picture. The... LEMONY SNICKET ...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important. LEMONY SNICKET Summer seems so cold without you, winter is even colder. LEMONY SNICKET ...there's nothing wrong with occasionally staring out the window and thinking nonsense, as long as ... LEMONY SNICKET For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended. LEMONY SNICKET Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!” said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Ba... LEMONY SNICKET I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I never see you again, and I will l... LEMONY SNICKET I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person, but it does mean I've... LEMONY SNICKET I am alone this evening, and I am alone because of a cruel twist of fate, a phrase which here means ... LEMONY SNICKET The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind. LEMONY SNICKET Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with t... LEMONY SNICKET But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby. LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, ... LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once were so clo... LEMONY SNICKET I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else your co-star, per... LEMONY SNICKET It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, an... LEMONY SNICKET I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. LEMONY SNICKET Desperate times call for desperate measures" is an aphorism which here means "sometimes you need to ... LEMONY SNICKET In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love t... LEMONY SNICKET Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, ... LEMONY SNICKET One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because... LEMONY SNICKET Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when y... LEMONY SNICKET Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically ... LEMONY SNICKET Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, a... LEMONY SNICKET Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel... LEMONY SNICKET Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thi... LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat... LEMONY SNICKET An apocryphal story - the word "apocryphal" here means "obviously untrue" - tells of two people, lon... LEMONY SNICKET You may want to keep a commonplace book which is a notebook where you can copy parts of books you th... LEMONY SNICKET Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact. LEMONY SNICKET It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happine... LEMONY SNICKET It is much, much worse to receive bad news through the written word than by somebody simply telling ... LEMONY SNICKET The hallway was lined with numbered doors, odd numbers on one side and even numbers on the other, an... LEMONY SNICKET Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes yo... LEMONY SNICKET It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively.... LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and a... LEMONY SNICKET Of course I'm trying to trick you!" Olaf cried. "That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everybody... LEMONY SNICKET Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they... LEMONY SNICKET Aha! " My chaperone looked at me like I should aha! back, but all I could m... LEMONY SNICKET Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down o... LEMONY SNICKET There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If... LEMONY SNICKET It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It l... LEMONY SNICKET But the world did not match the picture in my head, and instead I was with a strange, uncombed perso... LEMONY SNICKET They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I... LEMONY SNICKET It felt like the wrong thing to do, standing at the wrong door in the wrong place. We did it anyway.... LEMONY SNICKET Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except p... LEMONY SNICKET It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn’t know... LEMONY SNICKET The map is not the territory. LEMONY SNICKET I do what I do," I said, "in order to do something else. LEMONY SNICKET Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument. LEMONY SNICKET You must be all a-tingle with excitement.' 'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I... LEMONY SNICKET I thought maybe if I stared hard enough, I could see the lights of the city I had left so very far b... LEMONY SNICKET The library was one enormous room, with long, high metal shelves and the perfect quiet that librarie... LEMONY SNICKET There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap,... LEMONY SNICKET I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, becau... LEMONY SNICKET There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frigh... LEMONY SNICKET Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because chi... LEMONY SNICKET So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. I... LEMONY SNICKET The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drif... LEMONY SNICKET A mystery is solved with a story. LEMONY SNICKET I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get ... LEMONY SNICKET You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage ... LEMONY SNICKET Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will e... LEMONY SNICKET There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of pap... LEMONY SNICKET Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it befo... LEMONY SNICKET They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire... LEMONY SNICKET How clever of you to figure that out,' said a voice at the top of the stairs, and Violet, and Klaus ... LEMONY SNICKET I'm not a stranger," I said, and pointed to his book. "I'm someone who reads the same authors you do... LEMONY SNICKET There is nothing wrong with crying at the end of a long day. LEMONY SNICKET being skeptical is a good thing for a journalist, because it means you don't completely trust anyone... LEMONY SNICKET There are people in the world who care about automobiles, and there are people who couldn't care les... LEMONY SNICKET Perhaps I had been in another world before I was born, and did not remember it, or perhaps I would s... LEMONY SNICKET There are many mysteries I have never solved, and the hair of my chaperone is perhaps my most curiou... LEMONY SNICKET It is never seven that you count to, before you do something difficult. It is never at the count of ... LEMONY SNICKET The three of us stood there for a minute. I don’t know what Stew was thinking, and the filing cabi... LEMONY SNICKET When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you. LEMONY SNICKET I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, ... LEMONY SNICKET They can teach you anything. That doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it. LEMONY SNICKET The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they'r... LEMONY SNICKET I thought the war was a simple matter, with one side good and the other evil. But the more I read, t... LEMONY SNICKET Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get yo... LEMONY SNICKET Of course you can trust me," Jake Hix said. "We read the same books. LEMONY SNICKET It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger. LEMONY SNICKET Nobody should feel pain all by themselves. LEMONY SNICKET There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matt... LEMONY SNICKET It seemed to me that every adult did something terrible sooner or later. And every child, I thought,... LEMONY SNICKET