Tommy Cooper quote: "He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books.""

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said ...
TOMMY COOPER

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the wind...
TOMMY COOPER

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.
TOMMY COOPER

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He sai...
TOMMY COOPER

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a lib...
TOMMY COOPER

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
TOMMY COOPER

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around ...
TOMMY COOPER

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age....
TOMMY COOPER

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. T...
TOMMY COOPER

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
TOMMY COOPER

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.
TOMMY COOPER

Wild Turkey is my friend. Old friends can meet any time. They're easy together like that. I poured m...
TOMMY COOPER

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
TOMMY COOPER

A policeman stopped me and said: "Would you please blow into this bag, sir?" I said: "What for, offi...
TOMMY COOPER

So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep havi...
TOMMY COOPER

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just s...
TOMMY COOPER

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillo...
TOMMY COOPER

So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'
TOMMY COOPER

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you ...
TOMMY COOPER

I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already!
TOMMY COOPER

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortuna...
TOMMY COOPER

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'D...
TOMMY COOPER

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I...
TOMMY COOPER

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stoppi...
TOMMY COOPER

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around ...
TOMMY COOPER

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I&...
TOMMY COOPER

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the wind...
TOMMY COOPER

Man can now fly in the air like a bird, swim under the ocean like a fish, he can burrow into the gro...
TOMMY DOUGLAS

I don't mind being a symbol but I don't want to become a monument. There are monuments all o...
TOMMY DOUGLAS

Success is fickle, but creativity is a gift.
TOMMY SHAW

In some ways, climbing in the clouds is comforting. You can no longer see how high off the ground yo...
TOMMY CALDWELL

The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.
TOMMY SMOTHERS

I never did smoke that much pot; never was a big pothead.
TOMMY CHONG

I'm always getting injuries like bruised and bloody knuckles from catching a cymbal or the edge ...
TOMMY LEE

I was looking at people like Jim Morrison and David Bowie and Mick Jagger and I thought, Ah! I want ...
TOMMY HILFIGER

No one really buys records anymore. You can look at sales and do that math real quick. Unfortunately...
TOMMY LEE

Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.
TOMMY ARMOUR

The Ramones are not an oldies group; they are not a glitter group. They don't play boogie music,...
TOMMY RAMONE

I'm still that rowdy dude who has after-parties in his dressing room with a concert-sized PA sys...
TOMMY LEE

I've always loved the mixture of crushing live drums with a programmed groove, that really cool ...
TOMMY LEE

I also did some jail time a few years ago. Spent a whole summer in jail reading books. I pumped a to...
TOMMY LEE

Managing is like holding a dove in your hand. Squeeze too hard and you kill it, not hard enough and ...
TOMMY LASORDA

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination.
TOMMY LASORDA

Catching a fly ball is a pleasure, but knowing what to do with it is a business.
TOMMY HENRICH

Pressure is a word that is misused in our vocabulary. When you start thinking of pressure, it's beca...
TOMMY LASORDA

Show business is really 90 per cent luck and 10 per cent being able to handle it when it gets offere...
TOMMY STEELE

When we lose, I eat. When we win, I eat. I also eat when we're rained out.
TOMMY LASORDA

When I was a little kid, I took tap and ballet. I've always loved to dance. I'm a rhythm machine.
TOMMY LEE

When you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished.
TOMMY SMOTHERS

There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and ...
TOMMY LASORDA

The preppy lifestyle has gone global. We feel that our business has grown so well because preppy tra...
TOMMY HILFIGER

Algebra looked like Chinese characters to me, and I could never get into reading Shakespeare. I just...
TOMMY HILFIGER

Mostly I listen to old-time music, some bluegrass, some Americana stuff, too many to name. But of th...
TOMMY RAMONE

I was born in Alabama and my first live music experiences were in church. Every Sunday we watched re...
TOMMY SHAW

We won a contest at the teen fair in Vancouver and the first prize was a recording contract and we r...
TOMMY CHONG

Over the last 15 years we've developed our brand into a global brand and we wanted our giving to...
TOMMY HILFIGER

I've never tried to do couture, because it's a whole different beast.
TOMMY HILFIGER

We like to believe our fashion is growing.
TOMMY HILFIGER

I looked at my competitors and I thought that, If they could do it, I could do it. And if, they are ...
TOMMY HILFIGER

My mother was kind and forgiving and would take in all the waifs and strays in our neighbourhood; we...
TOMMY HILFIGER

We had incense and rock'n'roll posters, and we sold records and rolling papers. People could...
TOMMY HILFIGER

If I see someone wearing Hilfiger it makes me proud, but then I wonder what I could do to make the s...
TOMMY HILFIGER

My mother inspired me to treat others as I would want to be treated regardless of age, race or finan...
TOMMY HILFIGER

My passion for music has always inspired my designs.
TOMMY HILFIGER

I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to build some kind of lifestyle brand that was preppy a...
TOMMY HILFIGER

I had no confidence at school. I was not a good student and I really thought I was pretty stupid. Ju...
TOMMY HILFIGER

We are going back to our roots by cultivating new unsigned talent who otherwise might go unnoticed.
TOMMY HILFIGER

We are really living the American dream, to be a successful brand in the States and in Europe and to...
TOMMY HILFIGER

You want to look fashionable and put-together, not like you hit every sale rack this season.
TOMMY HILFIGER

It was difficult for me because I was searching for the answer for so long, and the answer was right...
TOMMY HILFIGER

But I think, if you're in the spotlight, people are going to say bad things, and that's just...
TOMMY HILFIGER

I think it's dangerous to think that you're successful, because then you become complacent.
TOMMY HILFIGER

I thought, if I went into business I'd be able to control my own destiny.
TOMMY HILFIGER

In designing a lifestyle brand, you have to know more than just designing clothes.
TOMMY HILFIGER

Our look and image never change dramatically from one season to the next, so we need an edge.
TOMMY HILFIGER

One of the most important things to me is to make things real, not have models who are perfectly gro...
TOMMY HILFIGER

I'm a designer of more than clothes. I am a designer of a very creative concept.
TOMMY HILFIGER

If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you...
TOMMY BOLT

When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went ...
TOMMY CHONG

Trust is a big word for me. Loyalty and trust, for me, are everything. It's the core of what I&#...
TOMMY MOTTOLA

You look at Cheney, Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, and Bush - if you saw them on Halloween, they wouldn't ...
TOMMY CHONG

Aerosmith's 'Rocks' is on the list of my top favorite albums of all time.
TOMMY LEE

You can have fun, but you also have to put on your thinking cap every day.
TOMMY SHAW

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination.
TOMMY LASORDA

Baseball is like driving, it's the one who gets home safely that counts.
TOMMY LASORDA

The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possibl...
TOMMY HILFIGER

When you - when you become the manager of a major league team, particularly the Dodgers, to me, that...
TOMMY LASORDA

We're all put here for a reason. And one little movement changes your way of life.
TOMMY LASORDA

I am so happy and proud to learn of Hideo Nomo's election to the Japanese Baseball Hall of Fame....
TOMMY LASORDA

When we win, I'm so happy I eat a lot. When we lose, I'm so depressed, I eat a lot. When we&...
TOMMY LASORDA

I love doubleheaders. That way I get to keep my uniform on longer.
TOMMY LASORDA

No, we don't cheat. And even if we did, I'd never tell you.
TOMMY LASORDA

I bleed Dodger blue!
TOMMY LASORDA

If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.
TOMMY LASORDA

You can wake up every day and make today better than the last.
TOMMY LASORDA

I bleed Dodger blue and when I die, I'm going to the big Dodger in the sky.
TOMMY LASORDA

I believe managing is like holding a dove in your hand. If you hold it too tightly you kill it, but ...
TOMMY LASORDA

Guys ask me, don't I get burned out? How can you get burned out doing something you love? I ask ...
TOMMY LASORDA

'Pressure' is a word that is misused in our vocabulary. When you start thinking of pressure,...
TOMMY LASORDA

If you don't love the Dodgers, there's a good chance you may not get into Heaven.
TOMMY LASORDA

I still remember the entire Boy Scout motto. I don't remember the serial number of my gun in the...
TOMMY LASORDA

There are three kinds of people in this world: people who make it happen, people who watch what happ...
TOMMY LASORDA

You give loyalty, you'll get it back. You give love, you'll get it back.
TOMMY LASORDA

No matter how good you are, you're going to lose one-third of your games. No matter how bad you ...
TOMMY LASORDA

About the only problem with success is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure.
TOMMY LASORDA

People try to say suicide is the most cowardly act a man could ever commit. I don't think that's tru...
TOMMY TRAN

Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya.
TOMMY CHONG

I like a lot of classic movies, like, for example, 'Citizen Kane', James Dean movies, etc, e...
TOMMY WISEAU

People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing....
TOMMY CHONG

The Ramones were not about having a good time. The closest thing probably was maybe Joey and Dee Dee...
TOMMY RAMONE

The Dawn Wall and the Fitz Traverse were super-satisfying climbs. But I will always be searching for...
TOMMY CALDWELL

Stand at the base and look up at 3,000 feet of blankness. It just looks like there's no way you ...
TOMMY CALDWELL

I grew up a clumsy kid with bad hand-eye coordination. Yet here on El Cap, I felt as though I had st...
TOMMY CALDWELL

When I was 15 years old, I used to actually dream I was pitching in Yankee Stadium. Bill Dickey was ...
TOMMY LASORDA

As a solo artist, I just felt cemented in front of the mike stand. There was very little time to pla...
TOMMY SHAW

I'm telling you, I don't like cheaters.
TOMMY LASORDA

If the United States is hit with a weapon of mass destruction that inflicts large casualties, the Co...
TOMMY FRANKS

The Shades never recorded anything, Little Daddy and the Bachelors recorded a couple of records, ya.
TOMMY CHONG

I've had heroes in my life - Joe DiMaggio, Babe Ruth.
TOMMY LASORDA

I was born in Budapest, Hungary, and moved to the United States in 1956. It was during the Hungarian...
TOMMY RAMONE

Awakening your spiritual side is really what artists do. When you hit a groove, it's not you; it...
TOMMY CHONG

I love to meet my fans, and after every show I usually hang out for a few hours, talking to my fans,...
TOMMY CHONG

Always give an autograph when somebody asks you.
TOMMY LASORDA

We have learned the need to be flexible or to have flexible forces, agile forces, who can move quick...
TOMMY FRANKS

I had eight brothers and sisters. Every Christmas my younger brother Bobby would wake up extra early...
TOMMY HILFIGER

I do not care whether you're a Democrat or you're a Republican or an independent. We must pu...
TOMMY LASORDA

I remember burying a girl fourteen years of age who had died with a ruptured appendix... I buried a ...
TOMMY DOUGLAS

There are three types of baseball players: Those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and t...
TOMMY LASORDA

You can't become a dictator through checks and balances.
TOMMY CHONG

Any vehicle that conveys great songs and the ability to perform them, whether it's 'N Sync o...
TOMMY MOTTOLA

They could never beat me in Springfield. I loved that old ballpark. If I could have pitched there al...
TOMMY LASORDA

Acid wasn't getting a whole lot of bad press at the time, and as I saw the whole bad-press thing...
TOMMY RETTIG

The Radiohead record, The Bends is my all-time favorite record on the planet.
TOMMY LEE

There are no more heroes in America. Because of the Internet, heroism has become momentary and withi...
TOMMY MOTTOLA

Courage, my friends; 'tis not too late to build a better world.
TOMMY DOUGLAS

The best thing about being rich is the freedom; freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want. I...
TOMMY LEE

I've always gravitated towards the beats, obviously. And when I was growing up, I always loved f...
TOMMY LEE

I started in the lowest league in baseball, and I worked my way all the way up to Triple A and then ...
TOMMY LASORDA

My house is really clean. It's a really big house so I have three ladies who come in and clean i...
TOMMY LEE

Pressure is a word that is misused in our vocabulary. When you start thinking of pressure, it's be...
TOMMY LASORDA

We live in a world full of people who are satisfied with pretending to be someone they are not.
TOMMY TRAN

Pressure is a word that is misused in our vocabulary. When you start thinking of pressure, it's bec...
TOMMY LASORDA

The only Angels in Los Angeles are in Heaven, and they're looking down on the Dodgers.
TOMMY LASORDA

The horses forced into the chuckwagon races die of heart attacks, broken necks, broken legs, and oth...
TOMMY LEE

I disapprove of lots of decisions made by George Bush: the war, the meddling in the affairs of other...
TOMMY HILFIGER

We have learned that precision munitions go precisely where they're targeted to go. We've le...
TOMMY FRANKS

Everything I have, I owe to baseball and the Dodgers.
TOMMY LASORDA

When I took the job as the manager of the Olympic team, I didn't take it because I was a Dodger....
TOMMY LASORDA

The thing is about Cheech & Chong, we've brought more families together than Dr. Phil.
TOMMY CHONG

Drumming's pretty physical. We sit at the back of the stage getting beat up like a workhorse.
TOMMY LEE

Most drummers are covered with a million drums, and everyone is like, 'What are you doing back t...
TOMMY LEE

Too many drummers sit at the back covered in drums, and you never see them.
TOMMY LEE

The ultimate censorship is the flick of the dial.
TOMMY SMOTHERS

If I have an idea, I write it down, although I usually carry a little dictation machine with me beca...
TOMMY SHAW

The quad toms are a completely different animal than the standard drum set/trap kit. Playing wise an...
TOMMY LEE

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
TOMMY MANVILLE

Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!
TOMMY SMOTHERS

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not theirs.
TOMMY LASORDA

Getting married in four days was the biggest... mistake I've ever made. I have two beautiful kid...
TOMMY LEE

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.
TOMMY BOLT

He wants Texas back. (when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela mig...
TOMMY LASORDA

The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the...
TOMMY CHONG

In high school, I got into folk music, and I taught myself guitar. And when The Beatles came out, I ...
TOMMY RAMONE

Stupidity is genius, it's the genius part that is often misunderstood.
TOMMY POLO

Express yourself, don't hurt yourself.
TOMMY WISEAU

Groupies are just very enthusiastic fans, that's all.
TOMMY RAMONE

They just wanted to show the entertainment world that we're vulnerable.
TOMMY CHONG

For me, I love to dream big, and I love to find ways to be a bit of an explorer. These days, it seem...
TOMMY CALDWELL

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine w...
TOMMY DOUGLAS

One of his strengths is being precise in what he's doing and any quarterback, whether you're young o...
TOMMY MADDOX

a hammer and an anvil.
TOMMY FRANKS

Chan Ho had a great career and was the exemplification of class, dignity and character.
TOMMY LASORDA

The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career.
TOMMY CHONG

I've never used one word of profanity in front of my wife, or my daughter, or my granddaughter.....
TOMMY LASORDA

I don't need material things like gold and platinum records on my wall, Grammys or Hall Of Fame ...
TOMMY LEE

I did the marching band all throughout junior high and high school. Music was one of my favorite thi...
TOMMY LEE

One of my favorite things in the world is to be seeing two people that are really old, still holding...
TOMMY LEE

I think we focused on this game more than Tuesday (a narrow 70-68 win over Avinger). We were almost ...
TOMMY BLEEKER

I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn&#...
TOMMY CHONG

I, for one, begin with intent. There is no question that, Saddam Hussein had intent to do harm to th...
TOMMY FRANKS

It's a very sad day for people like myself who loved him to bits. The only thing was he should have ...
TOMMY DOCHERTY

Personally, I am very, very sorry we have come to this. I suppose it is another sign of the times.
TOMMY DOCHERTY

Football wasn't meant to be run by linesmen and air traffic control.
TOMMY DOCHERTY

I've always said there's a place for the press but they haven't dug it yet.
TOMMY DOCHERTY

I said to myself, where are we living? In the United States of America where you're innocent unt...
TOMMY BOND

I tend to pick objectives that I feel are safe because I know that, in the moment, I always go for i...
TOMMY CALDWELL

Liz did a great job pitching and she didn't give up a lot of hits. (The Hawks) just put back-to-back...
TOMMY RAMOS

The first record was basically a quick, fast record. The second record, we were going for more of a ...
TOMMY RAMONE

The Western world, the free world, loses what it cherishes most, and that is freedom and liberty we&...
TOMMY FRANKS

[For his part, retired Gen. Tommy Franks, who has been speaking out as a Bush surrogate, has an op-e...
TOMMY FRANKS

I don't know how many touchdown passes (Whitehurst) threw last year, ... But I bet you by the end of...
TOMMY BOWDEN

We have access to 1.2 million doses of vaccine,
TOMMY THOMPSON

You wait till you see that Dominican team. You wait till you see Puerto Rico. You wait till you see ...
TOMMY LASORDA

We got the game plan in. All we are doing is polishing it and working on special teams. We had a lit...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE

If I'm a voter, I throw a bumper sticker in the trash. That car, I'm doing to put on my desk.
TOMMY WEST

When a song gets its legs and begins to come to me, this is the euphoric hook that keeps me wanting ...
TOMMY SHAW

Ben was a little different. Sometimes you wonder about homesickness, but he's really handled it well...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE

[Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville, whose team finished No. 2 in the final polls last season, says he co...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE

We'll play when we get there, I guess. It's not our fault that we can't get down there. You'd love i...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books."

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Tommy Cooper

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books."

Tommy Cooper

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