He spends his life explaining from his pulpit that the glory of Christianity consists in the fact that though it is not true it has been found necessary to invent it.

Hors d'oeuvres have always a pathetic interest for me; they remind me of one's childhood that one goes through wondering what the next course is going to be like - and during the rest of the menu one wishes one had eaten more of the hors d'oeuvres.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

Poverty keeps together more homes than it breaks up.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

It's no use growing older if you only learn new ways of misbehaving yourself.