He uses his sources as a drunkard uses lampposts; not to light him upon his way, but to dissimulate his instability

After all, the world is not our handiwork, and we are not responsible for what goes on in it, save within very narrow limits

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them.

Lying is not only excusable; it is not only innocent; it is, above all, necessary and unavoidable. Without the ameliorations that it offers, life would become a mere syllogism and hence too metallic to be borne.

I have yet to meet (a socialist) who was not as gullible as a Mississippi darkey - nay, as a Mississippi white man

The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be indignant about them