Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.


George Carlin

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The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.
REBECCA WEST
Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
YAKOV SMIRNOFF
Men and women are not born inconstant: they are made so by their early amorous experiences.
ANDRE MAUROIS
Ageing is something that both men and women are utterly terrified about.
CATE BLANCHETT
Women are men without money.
PAUL SAMUELSON
I've always said, 'Underwater or on top, men and women are compatible.'
SYLVIA EARLE
On Earth, men and women are taking the same risks. Why shouldn't we be taking the same risks in ...
VALENTINA TERESHKOVA
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are created equal.
ELIZABETH CADY STANTON
When women are angry at men, they call them heartless. When men are angry at women, they call them c...
SUSAN CHEEVER
In love, women are professionals, men are amateurs.
FRANCOIS TRUFFAUT
We have equality of men and women in western society, whereas in Islamic culture, women are inferior...
PIM FORTUYN
Men are allowed to write songs about people and women are allowed to write songs about women.
KRISTIN HERSH
Until women are as ambitious as men, they're not gong to achieve as much as men.
SHERYL SANDBERG
For all men are equal,in order to show man that you are equal,then always do things lesser than your...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
To prove that all men are equal, rich or poor,nature has made it compulsory for all to breath the sa...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
If you go to any boardroom... the women are, by far, outnumbered by the men.
ARUNDHATI BHATTACHARYA
You've got to remember that men are men and women are women. And although a lot of similarities,...
HELEN FISHER
Men and women are like right and left hands; it doesn't make sense not to use both.
JEANNETTE RANKIN
All men are fools, and all men are knights where women are concerned.
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
Both men and women are fallible. The difference is, women know it.
ELEANOR BRON
Both men and women are fallible. The difference is, women know it.
ELEANOR BRON
It will all go on as long as women are stupid enough to go on bringing men into the world. . .
DOROTHY MILLER RICHARDSON
I don't know if it's animalistic or what, but men become like peacocks with their feathers u...
BRADLEY COOPER
It is understandable that the perspectives of men and women on safety are so different--men and wome...
GAVIN DE BECKER
Women are complicated. We all know that.
CANDICE SWANEPOEL
The reason there are more women than men is simply because there are more illiterate women than men....
AMAL CHARARA
What should all men know about women? That we are always right and you should just agree.
LARA STONE
I think women are really self-analytical in a way that men aren't.
ZOE LISTER-JONES
Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another; but women are by nature enemies.
ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER
Men tend to be hierarchical, but women are driven to make lateral connections so they can cooperate.
HELEN FISHER
Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
VIRGINIA WOOLF
Why are women... so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
VIRGINIA WOOLF
Even the wisest men make fools of themselves about women, and even the most foolish women are wise a...
THEODOR REIK
Even the wisest men make fools of themselves about women, and even the most foolish women are wise a...
THEODORE REIK
Women are sacred.
VIN DIESEL
Women are to be championed and revered, not objectified.
PAUL RYAN
Women are not all single-issue voters.
CARLY FIORINA
Women are hilarious.
ERIK GRIFFIN
Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.
MARGARET ATWOOD
All women are inferior to men.
GARRY KASPAROV
Men and women are most alike at their most mature and soulful levels. Men and women are most differe...
RICHARD ROHR
In God, the characteristics of men and women that we admire in men and women are combined. That'...
ANDREW GREELEY
Competing in show jumping is a school of life. And it's one of the few Olympic sports where men ...
CHARLOTTE CASIRAGHI
Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
JAMES THURBER
Take me to the height where success would seek my help to succeed!
I ARE
Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about...
KATHARINE HEPBURN
Politics is there the way men and women are there, the way the Atlantic Ocean is there. Sometimes I&...
KENNETH KOCH
The real thing that keeps men and women apart, is fear. Women blame men and men blame women, but the...
C. JOYBELL C.
Men are virtuous because women are; women are virtuous from necessity
EDGAR WATSON HOWE
Women are cursed and men are the proof.
ROSEANNE
There are certain things women are better at than men.
ADAM CAROLLA
Women are one of the Almighty's enigmas to prove to men that He knows more than they do.
ELLEN GLASGOW
The enemy isn't men, or women, it's bloody stupid people and no one has the right to be stupid.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Men were stupid to forget what good sleuths women could be.
EDAN LEPUCKI
It's difficult for me to trust a woman. Men are attracted to beautiful women. Women are attracte...
CURTIS JACKSON
But all over Ohio - all over America - men and women are going back to work with the pride of buildi...
TED STRICKLAND
Men are pigs, darling. I really have every sympathy for women that they actually have to choose one ...
MICHAEL WINNER
Women are designed to help men and men are designed to love and honor them
SOTONYE ANGA
When a man loses superiority, he loses potency. That's what all this talk about castrating women is ...
MARILYN FRENCH
The fact that men and women are nominated this year in films that women have directed is good for wo...
CATHERINE WYLER
The fact that men and women are nominated this year in films that women have directed is good for wo...
CATHERINE HARDWICKE
In our civilization, men are afraid that they will not be men enough and women are afraid that they ...
THEODOR REIK
Saying this tongue-in-cheek but as far as men are concerned women are toys and as far as women are c...
KEN O. ELDIB
Nature says women are human beings, men have made religions to deny it. Nature says women are human ...
TASLIMA NASRIN
Liberalism has produced women that are driven like men to succeed and men that succeed in being driv...
DANIEL BRYANT GATES
Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Men become much more attractive when they start looking older. But it doesn't do much for women, tho...
BETTE DAVIS
If men knew all that women think, they would be twenty times more audacious
ALPHONSE KARR
How different the reasoning is that men adopt when they are discussing the cases of men and those of...
EMMELINE PANKHURST
Men make the moral code and they expect women to accept it
EMMELINE PANKHURST
I identify with women more than men. I guess I have a strong feminine side.
LENNY KRAVITZ
Women prefer men who have something tender about them -- especially the legal kind.
KAY INGRAM
One does so hate to admit that the average woman is kinder, finer, more quick of sympathy and on the...
SHERWOOD ANDERSON
There is no difference between men and women and I tried to prove that even in logic men and women a...
JANA TYLOVA
Blessed are the elderly men and women.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA
Women are always beautiful.
VILLE VALO
Women are hard on themselves.
EMILY VANCAMP
Women are truly, truly awesome.
EMILY WEISS
Women are the root of all evils. Men are the evils !!!
EPHDAN
Men are allowed to get older and women are not.
SHIRLEY KNIGHT
As long as she doesn't turn too smart for men
For the stupid ones, she will, Madame. But who wa...
NINA GEORGE
There are two categories of women. Those who are women and those who are men’s wives.
CHARLOTTE WHITTON
If all men are born free, why is it that all women are born slaves?
MARY ASTELL
If all men are born free, how is it that all women are born slaves?
MARY ASTELL
Is it men or women who work the most in slaughterhouses? Is it men or women who are most involved in...
O ANNA NIEMUS
Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obse...
BARBRA STREISAND
I refuse to believe that all men are pigs and women competing whores.
ANASTASIA
Men aren't the way they are because they want to drive women crazy; they've been trained to be that...
BARBARA DE ANGELIS
Men aren't the way they are because they want to drive women crazy; they've been trained to be that ...
BARBARA DE ANGELIS
American men are like women.
BIKRAM CHOUDHURY
Many differences are rooted in biology and reinforced through culture, so it's important to ackn...
DEE DEE MYERS
The three sexes are men, women, and professors.
J. E. SPINGARN
There are older men with younger women but you don't see a lot of older women with younger men. ...
TORI AMOS
I think that women are much more collaborative; men are much more competitive.
KAREN BASS
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish. God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
GEORGE ELIOT
When women are in positions of power it's a hard place to be, especially when that position invo...
ALISON PILL
Women are more sure of themselves today. They don't have to emulate the way men dress.
GIANNI VERSACE
Demands for equality for women are threats to men's self-esteem and sense of sexual turf.
ALICE S. ROSSI
Overall, women are a lot more fun to work with than a bunch of men.
ERIC MABIUS
Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees.
NELSON DEMILLE

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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're hav...
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.
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GEORGE CARLIN
Everything beeps now
GEORGE CARLIN
You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic
GEORGE CARLIN
Think about it,
GEORGE CARLIN
I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and...
GEORGE CARLIN
Most people are not particularly good at anything
GEORGE CARLIN
I enjoy watching reruns of Saturday Night Live and counting all the dead people
GEORGE CARLIN
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or ...
GEORGE CARLIN
What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30 years,>Read People Magazine your...
GEORGE CARLIN
One thing i don't understand is sex is legal and selling things is legal but selling sex is illegal.
GEORGE CARLIN
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
GEORGE CARLIN
If a piece requires some specific inflection, I'll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categ...
GEORGE CARLIN
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
GEORGE CARLIN
Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage. I've always written in the long ...
GEORGE CARLIN