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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.


Woody Allen

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I think Woody Allen is Woody Allen, and no matter where he goes he still makes his Woody Allen films...
ABBAS KIAROSTAMI Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It'...
DAVID LETTERMAN A customer who often comes to my restaurant and always enchants me for his simplicity, shyness and s...
ARRIGO CIPRIANI I'm a big fan of 'Woody Allen' movies, so I like all the actresses in his movies like &#...
EMILY PERKINS I'm a writer and director, and the movie I've seen a million times is 'Stardust Memories...
ROMAN COPPOLA If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's a...
DAVID LETTERMAN Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has deve...
BILL COSBY Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has dev...
BILL COSBY I'm a huge Woody Allen fan. Good movie, bad movie, it doesn't matter - I just like his movie...
SEAN PENN Who are you, Woody Allen?
JOY BEHAR If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE The challenge of abating one with a genuine ego problem is to not try to put him down. Any and all a...
CRISS JAMI More tears have been shed over man's lack of manners than his lack of morals
HELEN HATHAWAY Woody Allen is a great dramatist and a great comedian.
CATE BLANCHETT Woody Allen's movies are so much a part of me. I grew up watching them over and over and would r...
NOAH BAUMBACH You probably can't name more than a handful of comedies that would qualify for Best Picture. I c...
HAROLD RAMIS I definitely have a little Woody Allen inside of me. That is true.
AUTRE NE VEUT My influences were Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce.
DAVID STEINBERG I hate Woody Allen physically, I dislike that kind of man.
ORSON WELLES The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhar...
ELLEN DEGENERES Woody Allen has done some excellent serious movies, too, like Crimes And Misdemeanors. Very overlook...
DAVID ZUCKER ...I might mention my belief that girls who like Woody Allen movies are nicer girls than girls who d...
ADAM LEVIN He was a simple man who had no inferiority complex about his lack of education, and even more amazin...
MAYA ANGELOU Why does a virtuous man take delight in the landscapes? Because the din of the dusty world and the l...
KUO HIS Why does a virtuous man take delight in the landscapes? Because the din of the dusty world and the l...
KUO HIS My early prose style - this is so embarrassing - was sort of a suburban, Presbyterian knockoff of Wo...
JOHN HUGHES No matter what his position or experience in life, there is in everyone more latent than developed a...
JAMES CASH PENNEY It was kind of scary because working with Woody Allen becomes sort of a big deal in your mind. He di...
RADHA MITCHELL If Woody Allen called me, I'd be there straight away. Who wouldn't? Truly.
JULIE DELPY [Jennings, a high school dropout known for his handsome face and urbane delivery on World News Tonig...
TED KOPPEL Lack of interest in mission is not fundamentally caused by an absence of compassion or commitment, n...
TIM A. DEARBORN A person whose desires and impulses are his own—are the expression of his own nature, as it has be...
JOHN STUART MILL I'm a huge Bob Hope fan, up until about the late '50s. I've seen so many of his movies u...
SCOTT AUKERMAN The act of thinking and interpreting is so central to Judaism that it makes more sense that we'v...
TONY KUSHNER I prefer to live in the country where it's quiet. Woody Allen movies there are dubbed into Itali...
PATRICIA HIGHSMITH After working with Woody Allen, sharing screen space with De Niro was a dream come true.
ANUPAM KHER But nothing beats a Woody Allen film on a Sunday night, with a glass of wine and some leftovers.
KATE FLEETWOOD Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche.
T. J. MILLER Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had.
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE An entrepreneur is not deterred by his lack of perfection, he knows no one else is
BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA At birth man is offered only one choice --the choice of his death. But if this choice is governed by...
JEAN-PIERRE MELVILLE Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if thare want ennything but contentment in his world, man w...
JOSH BILLINGS We offered more than ample evidence in my view of a lack of facilities. We would disagree with that ...
CARL EPPS Significant improvements in pricing, particularly for our North American brands, more than compensat...
MICKY ARISON God created man and, finding him not sufficiently alone, gave him a companion to make him feel his s...
PAUL VALéRY God created man and, finding him not sufficiently alone, gave him a companion to make him feel his s...
PAUL VALERY As cliché as it might sound, I'd rather lose than win by cheating. The latter is a much deeper, mor...
CRISS JAMI I don't think you'll find a better warrior than Woody. If you're not going to have your ace on the m...
JASON MARQUIS He, in his developed manhood, stood, a little sunburn by the glare of life.
ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING He, in his developed manhood, stood, a little sunburn by the glare of life.
ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING The biggest positive is that it pushed their maturities out, which gives them more time to grow into...
RON BRINGEWATT Woody Allen said that 95% of history is explained as a man trying to impress a woman. And that's...
MITT ROMNEY Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by definition, ...
JAMES ARTHUR BALDWIN Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by definition, ...
JAMES A. BALDWIN I would feel that aggravates the situation, ... his lack of empathy, his lack of remorse.
DAVID CASTRO An intelligent person, looking out of his eyes and hearkening in his ears, with a smile on his face ...
ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON A man will do more for his stubbornness than for his religion or his country
EDGAR WATSON HOWE A man will do more for his stubbornness than for his religion or his country.
E. W. HOWE Your principal motive on a movie set is to get the film made, but on a Woody Allen set, there's ...
REBECCA HALL A man's penmanship is an unfailing index of his character, moral and mental, and a criterion by whic...
PHILIP DORMER STANHOPE No one is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart: for his purity, by definition, ...
JAMES BALDWIN The young Obama's lack of playing time on the high school basketball team was due more to his ab...
DAVID MARANISS A man who lives right, and is right, has more power in his silence than another has by his words.
PHILLIPS BROOKS A man who lives right, and is right, has more power in his silence than another has by his words.
PHILLIP BROOKS I don't think Allen plans to stop there. He's said publicly that he is committed to doubling his cab...
DALTON CHANDLER We have more than enough reason to believe [Jackson] is on the precipice of bankruptcy.
GORDON AUCHINCLOSS A man is usually more careful of his money than of his principles.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES, JR. A man is usually more careful of his money than of his principles.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES JR. They're watching, ... Warner has the responsibility as party leader to come up with someone who can ...
LARRY SABATO New York in a way functions as another character within the story, as it does within most of Woody A...
RADHA MITCHELL Woody Allen sets are very quiet. Extraordinary sense of power from a man who doesn't do anything...
F. MURRAY ABRAHAM But more than a lack of guidance is a lack of communication, really,
MARLA BACKER He loved his people, but he couldn't pay for his education. He felt he could help (black people) mor...
KATHY THOMAS Well, obviously I was excited by the idea that Woody Allen was going to direct it. But at the same t...
RADHA MITCHELL A man is usually more careful of his money than he is of his principles.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON Everyone whose deeds are more than his wisdom, his wisdom endures; and everyone whose wisdom is more...
THE TALMUD But in this case, he had my cell phone and my phone was ringing and I had just come back from Austra...
RADHA MITCHELL A man's moral worth is not measured by what his religious beliefs are but rather by what emotional i...
ALBERT EINSTEIN It might be said that Lord Rosebery outlived his future by ten years and his past by more than twent...
SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL The worst bankruptcy in the world is the person who has lost his enthusiasm.
H. W. ARNOLD The person blaming others for his lack of success is like the CEO, of a company blaming his messenge...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) His readiness to undergo persecutions for his beliefs, the high moral character of the men who belie...
WILLIAM MONTGOMERY WATT Woody Allen movies are like Beatles songs. I can't name my favorite without you immediately nami...
COLIN TREVORROW When you consider the evidence, or lack of evidence, anything more than 15 years would be a moral ly...
BRUCE SMITH A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services.
DANIEL J. BOORSTIN A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services
DANIEL J. BOORSTIN He that has more knowledge than judgement, is made for another man's use more than his own.
WILLIAM PENN I am baffled by the complete lack of respect shown to Mr. Bell and his family. You owe an explanatio...
KIRK BUTRYN President Obama has a strong record of doing what is best for America and Florida, and he built it b...
CHARLIE CRIST Judge of a man by his questions rather than by his answers.
VOLTAIRE What is nobler than a man wresting and wringing his bread from the stubborn soil by the sweat of his...
WILLIAM MORRIS HUNT The process of filmmaking is very musical, you get into the rhythm and the rhythmics of how someone ...
CHARLOTTE RAMPLING Woody Allen movies notwithstanding, therapy, in the early eighties, was not exactly a hot conversati...
DAN HILL The education of the doctor which goes on after he has his degree is, after all, the most important ...
JOHN SHAW BILLINGS Anyone owed money by the company when it filed for bankruptcy cannot be paid until the bankruptcy is...
PAUL JACOBSON They are criticizing his behavior not because of his moral turpitude, but because he is having his t...
DR HITESH C SHETH First off, I love Woody Allen. His early movies, like 'Hannah and Her Sisters,' are incredib...
TIM STORY George Allen has often been compared over the course of his career, dating back to his term as gover...
FRANK ATKINSON A man's dying is more his survivor's affair than his own
THOMAS MANN

More Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab...
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre...
WOODY ALLEN Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag...
WOODY ALLEN The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
WOODY ALLEN Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
WOODY ALLEN I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
WOODY ALLEN If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
WOODY ALLEN Subjectivity is objective.
WOODY ALLEN The most expensive sex is free sex
WOODY ALLEN These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
WOODY ALLEN We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
WOODY ALLEN I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
WOODY ALLEN Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
WOODY ALLEN You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
WOODY ALLEN This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
WOODY ALLEN The heart wants what it wants.
WOODY ALLEN We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
WOODY ALLEN Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
WOODY ALLEN