How did I picture the life after the grave?

I Fairly bawled out at him: 'A life in which I can remember this life on earth. That's all I want of it.

This heart within me I can feel, and I judge that it exists. This world I can touch, and I likewise judge that it exists. There ends all my knowledge, and the rest is construction. (...) Forever I shall be a stranger to myself.

The literal meaning of life is whatever you're doing that prevents you from killing yourself.

If nothing had any meaning, you would be right. But there is something that still has a meaning.

After awhile you could get used to anything.

This very heart which is mine will forever remain indefinable to me. Between the certainty I have of my existence and the content I try to give to that assurance, the gap will never be filled. Forever I shall be a stranger to myself.