How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?


Woody Allen

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I think Woody Allen is Woody Allen, and no matter where he goes he still makes his Woody Allen films...
ABBAS KIAROSTAMI
My influences were Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce.
DAVID STEINBERG
To stand on the
brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation—with no feeli...
ASK AND IT IS GIVEN
Woody Allen is a great dramatist and a great comedian.
CATE BLANCHETT
I'm a writer and director, and the movie I've seen a million times is 'Stardust Memories...
ROMAN COPPOLA
Is that a burgundy shirt, Woody?
JOHN BUNTING
Who are you, Woody Allen?
JOY BEHAR
Woody Allen said that 95% of history is explained as a man trying to impress a woman. And that's...
MITT ROMNEY
My early prose style - this is so embarrassing - was sort of a suburban, Presbyterian knockoff of Wo...
JOHN HUGHES
It was kind of scary because working with Woody Allen becomes sort of a big deal in your mind. He di...
RADHA MITCHELL
A customer who often comes to my restaurant and always enchants me for his simplicity, shyness and s...
ARRIGO CIPRIANI
I definitely have a little Woody Allen inside of me. That is true.
AUTRE NE VEUT
Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It'...
DAVID LETTERMAN
If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE
Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche.
T. J. MILLER
Given the large size of the illegal harvest, ... I find it difficult to understand how this could ha...
PETER DEFAZIO
I prefer to live in the country where it's quiet. Woody Allen movies there are dubbed into Itali...
PATRICIA HIGHSMITH
If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE
I hate Woody Allen physically, I dislike that kind of man.
ORSON WELLES
Woody Allen movies are like Beatles songs. I can't name my favorite without you immediately nami...
COLIN TREVORROW
...I might mention my belief that girls who like Woody Allen movies are nicer girls than girls who d...
ADAM LEVIN
It seems that our politicians see the world in black and white, so why not our artists? Did Woody Al...
ALEXANDER PAYNE
New York in a way functions as another character within the story, as it does within most of Woody A...
RADHA MITCHELL
But nothing beats a Woody Allen film on a Sunday night, with a glass of wine and some leftovers.
KATE FLEETWOOD
If Woody Allen called me, I'd be there straight away. Who wouldn't? Truly.
JULIE DELPY
It might be possible that the world itself is without meaning.
VIRGINIA WOOLF
The process of filmmaking is very musical, you get into the rhythm and the rhythmics of how someone ...
CHARLOTTE RAMPLING
I love 'Husbands and Wives,' Woody Allen's movie. It's like one of my all-time favor...
ZOE LISTER-JONES
I would rather impress you with my storytelling than with the size of my waist and my hips.
TINK
Your principal motive on a movie set is to get the film made, but on a Woody Allen set, there's ...
REBECCA HALL
After working with Woody Allen, sharing screen space with De Niro was a dream come true.
ANUPAM KHER
It is a lie.
ARTHUR MILLER
'Culture' is a finite segment of the meaningless infinity of the world process, a segment on...
MAX WEBER
But in this case, he had my cell phone and my phone was ringing and I had just come back from Austra...
RADHA MITCHELL
Was it possible to find recompense, meaning, connection with others amidst the mess and the muddle ?
ELIZABETH BUCHAN
I'm a huge Woody Allen fan. Good movie, bad movie, it doesn't matter - I just like his movie...
SEAN PENN
I wanted to work with Mike Leigh. I had my list of British people I wanted to work with, and I wante...
CARMEN EJOGO
The fantastic cannot exist independently of that 'real' world which it seems to find frustratingly f...
ROSEMARY JACKSON
Working with Woody Allen is like filming Howard Hughes's will. It's a very mysterious and st...
MICHAEL O'DONOGHUE
'Ernest Borgnine' is sort of my version of Woody Allen's 'Purple Rose Of Cairo' ...
JOHN GRANT
Woody Allen movies notwithstanding, therapy, in the early eighties, was not exactly a hot conversati...
DAN HILL
He wouldn't be able to find my size in a skirt. At least I'd be able to find his size.
MATT BONNER
Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's a...
DAVID LETTERMAN
In New York, you've got Donald Trump, Woody Allen, a crack addict and a regular Joe, and they...
ETHAN HAWKE
Very few people have actually read Freud, but everyone seems prepared to talk about him in that Wood...
BILLY COLLINS
The act of thinking and interpreting is so central to Judaism that it makes more sense that we'v...
TONY KUSHNER
You don't have to be a size 2 or have a wonderful little waist, which helps you get over the despair...
VALERIE STEELE
We are facing a public health timebomb and can't afford to be complacent about waist size.
IAN CAMPBELL
For a finite being, an infinite path has no meaning!
MEHMET MURAT ILDAN
I don't know if you have ever seen the Woody Allen film 'Annie Hall,' but it is, in a wa...
HENRY ROLLINS
I would love to have a long and serious conversation with the Pope. And Woody Allen, whom I have nev...
CHARLIE ROSE
I have a Woody Allen Jewish attitude to life: that it's all going to be disastrous. That it hasn...
ANTONY SHER
How is it possible to write one's autobiography in a world so fast-changing as this?
MALCOLM X
I'm a big fan of 'Woody Allen' movies, so I like all the actresses in his movies like &#...
EMILY PERKINS
Well, obviously I was excited by the idea that Woody Allen was going to direct it. But at the same t...
RADHA MITCHELL
Woody Allen sets are very quiet. Extraordinary sense of power from a man who doesn't do anything...
F. MURRAY ABRAHAM
Life is never all one thing. It bounces around. Certainly, my own life has. Look at Woody Allen'...
TIM O'BRIEN
In short, it became possible - never easy, but possible - in the poet Auden's phrase to find the mor...
STEPHEN GREENBLATT
I was in Woody Allen's Stardust Memories in 1980. It was only a bit part and I didn't get to...
SHARON STONE
[For an actor who was then living in New York, Daniels said, working on a Woody Allen movie was some...
JEFF DANIELS
A man must fill his life with meaning, meaning is not automatically given to life. It is hard work t...
CHAIM POTOK
Your waist size should not be more than half your height.
MEHMET OZ
It doesn't matter if people are playing jazz or writing poetry -- if they want to be successful, the...
JONAH LEHRER
No finite point has meaning without an infinite reference point.
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE
I grew up with Woody Allen and early Spike Lee movies in which New York was such a specific characte...
JONATHAN LEVINE
It'll be a very Woody Allen kind of film covering three layers of characters: the Indians from India...
HARISH DAYANI
Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble ...
JUDITH VIORST
Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as n...
JUDITH VIORST
The possible is just the impossible that we've come to accept,
STEWART STAFFORD
I find it infuriating that in this industry, size 10 and above is defined as 'plus size,' es...
JAMEELA JAMIL
The meaning of life is simple: Live. Those who waste their lives trying to find the meaning of life,...
AERIAL NICOLE MITCHELL
Infinite growth of material consumption in a finite world is an impossibility.
E. F. SCHUMACHER
I'm sick of hearing, thinking and talking about Woody Allen. Nonetheless, the allegations agains...
ROXANE GAY
It is the experience of living that is important, not searching for meaning. We bring meaning by how...
BERNIE S. SIEGEL
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
AGNES REPPLIER
In your reading, find books to improve your color sense, your sense of shape and size in the world.
RAY BRADBURY
The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhar...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was also a big Woody Allen fan. When I got into college I listened to Lenny Bruce but it's tak...
MARC MARON
I'm such a big fan of Woody Allen. I once tried staying at the same hotel as him, hoping I would...
DEEPIKA PADUKONE
Never look for an ideal knight in this world! Find a suitable one. Crown him and Live Queen SIZE!
DR. VINOD B. NAIR
Woody Allen has done some excellent serious movies, too, like Crimes And Misdemeanors. Very overlook...
DAVID ZUCKER
When Maimonides says that the Messiah will come but that 'he may tarry,' we see the origin of every ...
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS
The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH
I'd love to do more theater in New York City. And I'd love the chance to do a big movie with a great...
ZACH BRAFF
When we created 'Goodness Gracious Me,' it was quoting 'Python' and Woody Allen line...
SANJEEV BHASKAR
This world is a joke, and I'm in it
OLIWAH GOUDEE
Using assistive technology with your child prevents your child from missing out on content solely be...
SANDRA K. COOK
Growing up, my two favorite books were Woody Allen's 'Side Effects' and Phyllis Diller&#...
JILL DAVIS
An environment of infinite economic expansion is unsustainable in a world of finite resources.
BRYANT MCGILL
Life has to be given a meaning because of the obvious fact that it has no meaning.
HENRY MILLER
Learn how to forgive and become One, so that a world free of violence is POSSIBLE in the NOW!
ROXANA JONES
My mother is my biggest role model, and she showed me how to do it right. She was very present in ou...
KERRI WALSH JENNINGS
Let ye who believes the world to be finite as he is fall to the deepest depths. Ye who fail to expan...
BRANDON CHRISTOPHER
When our lips parted, he sighed. “I love those eyes, angel. When they look at me, I feel like anyt...
BIJOU HUNTER
Unpredictability means what it means. I don't know how you define it. It is what it is.
MICHAEL KEATON
My world was the size of a crayon box, and it took every colour to draw her
SARAH KAY
Usually, the things that mean the world to us don't even mean a thing to the world. It is the unfath...
ANDONI GARCIA
In the end, arguing about affirmative action in selective colleges is like arguing about the size of...
ERIC LIU
It is funny how you do not miss affection until it is given, but once it is, it can never be enough;...
LIBBA BRAY
A finite world can support only a finite population; therefore, population growth must eventually eq...
GARRETT HARDIN

More Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN
sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN
If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN
The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN
One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN
Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
WOODY ALLEN
If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN
The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN
I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN
In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN
A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN
Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN
My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN
It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN
Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN
More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN
A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN
I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN
Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN
A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN
The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN
My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN
Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN
The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN
My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN
Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN
For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN
We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN
The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab...
WOODY ALLEN
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN
I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN
Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre...
WOODY ALLEN
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag...
WOODY ALLEN
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN
A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN
I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
WOODY ALLEN
Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN
My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
WOODY ALLEN
I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN
Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN
Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN
There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
WOODY ALLEN
If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN
I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
WOODY ALLEN
Subjectivity is objective.
WOODY ALLEN
The most expensive sex is free sex
WOODY ALLEN
These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
WOODY ALLEN
We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
WOODY ALLEN
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
WOODY ALLEN
Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
WOODY ALLEN
You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
WOODY ALLEN
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
WOODY ALLEN
The heart wants what it wants.
WOODY ALLEN
We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
WOODY ALLEN
Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
WOODY ALLEN
My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
WOODY ALLEN