Hurt, he'll never be hurt--he's made to hurt other people.

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)

"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response

The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.

Get you gone, you dwarf,
You minimus of hindering knotgrass made,
You bead, you acorn!

I bet his mother was a wyvern.
-Scamp

Did anybody tell you that you're a few french fries short of a Happy Meal?