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I am not an actor. Yes, every so often I appear on talk shows to promote something I've written, and I enjoy doing so because I have a lot of stories to tell, and I like making audiences laugh. But that's not acting. That's just me being me.


Alan Zweibel

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ANDY GRIFFITH I've been through my fair share of highs and lows. Yes, I've been written off, and it amazes...
SHILPA SHETTY I'm not a big, huge star, and so when people see me, it's usually to talk about something I&...
JASON BATEMAN When I'm acting, it's like I am the character - no one can talk to me. But I'm not so me...
TOM HOLLAND I don't know if you know you're funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I'm funny becau...
GREG BEHRENDT I obviously enjoy being wealthy. It's enabled me to have a career that I've chosen and not o...
JAMIE JOHNSON There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.'...
MARGOT ROBBIE I'm not particularly affable in real life, I have to tell you. I've got that side to me, of ...
MARTIN FREEMAN I'm way flashier on Instagram and Snapchat because I feel like that's what people want to se...
KYLIE JENNER It was never the fame or fortune that drove me to act. It was something I love and enjoy doing it. A...
ADAM BALDWIN My parents have Google Alerts on me. So they'll often times send me an e-mail and be like, '...
DANE DEHAAN I like doing comedy, I like doing drama. Naturally I like to do, I like doing dramas, I like conflic...
MATT DILLON My Food Network shows, 'Emeril Live' and 'Essence of Emeril,' are not in production ...
EMERIL LAGASSE Acting is something I did when I was a kid. I do act sometimes in friends' projects, but when I ...
MARA WILSON Just making the crowd laugh is not really doing things for me anymore. That's just knowing how t...
PATRICE O'NEAL I am really looking for a chance to direct. I feel like that's kind of the next frontier for me....
DANA FOX I'm extremely proud of being Latin; it's a big part of my life. It's not something I out...
JOANNA GARCIA For so many years, I've been an actor acting in other people's movies, and in 'Unstoppab...
KIRK CAMERON As an actor, I've grown considerably. For example, it's taken me years to get comfortable do...
SANJAY DUTT It's hard for me to talk about Dom right now because I am Dom right now. So it's a really st...
VIN DIESEL At the end, it's your movie and your performance that stands out. So if I am a good actor, and i...
RANBIR KAPOOR Acting's fine if the script's written by Paddy Chayefsky and Martin Scorsese directs it, but...
JEFF GARLIN I worry that if I enjoy something - like the songs on 'Some Nights' are about wondering abou...
NATE RUESS I love creating characters that people may or may have not ever seen before. But I enjoy the opportu...
J. AUGUST RICHARDS Making films has never just been a job to me; it is my life. I have some interests outside of acting...
CHRISTOPHER LEE I enjoy acting now more than I ever have. I've had lots of difficult times when I was younger, b...
BRIAN COX I've always had a man's mindset, and that's why I mostly have men friends, and that'...
KARRINE STEFFANS We underestimate children and the people who work with them. I swear - so often, I tell people I am ...
KATHI APPELT I would love to tell you that it's been absolutely perfect, that I've been a man that's ...
A.J. STYLES I started writing when I started acting professionally because, with acting, there's so much tim...
FINN WITTROCK I've been invited to appear on Letterman, but they wanted me to talk about a funny videotape of ...
BRIAN LAMB Acting changed my life. I say God and then acting. Because becoming an actor, I've gained a new ...
TASHA SMITH This year I've just been aggressive. I still have that mindset of passing the ball, and being ag...
JAMES HARDEN I would like people to know me for who I am, especially since I think people have a very skewed imag...
MARA WILSON I enjoy dramatic narration, of course, because I'm an actor and I started as an actor. But I lov...
PETER CULLEN Every job I've had since 'Smallville' has wanted me to have red hair, so I have to thank...
CASSIDY FREEMAN Honestly, I don't look at it as work because I have way too much fun on set to actually classify...
BILLY UNGER It's a real strength for me that I've never minded the training process. It's something ...
TOM BRADY I give myself homework when I have an audition. I give myself goals, and that's how I check how ...
LUPITA NYONG'O It's different being a director. I suppose, especially if it's a story you've written an...
PADDY CONSIDINE Aye, well, I've got my garden.
LIKE I I told my Nike representative, 'Why didn't you guys use me for this?''' Williams said, laughing.
LIKE I On the interception, I was out of bounds,
LIKE I casually made his 'abort black fetuses' argument.
LIKE I I can field my position. If I start worrying about being ready for a line drive too soon that means ...
LIKE I I told him that he played a great game,'' said Falcons quarterback Michael Vick , who like Manning w...
LIKE I I was so concerned with getting the ball out of my hands and not taking the sack, that sometimes I t...
LIKE I I knew I had to throw the ball better,'' Manning said of his poor start.
LIKE I I think the reason that I have that title or that moniker is because people don't know what to expec...
LIKE I You're either ready and prepared to take on the task, or you're not,'' he said.
LIKE I I did not have one butterfly out there today,'' he said.
LIKE I Married to the Mob.
LIKE I Hello you're with Drudge.
LIKE I I don't expect Christian Fundamentalists to reach out to me. They are adamant that homosexuals are i...
LIKE I throw enough shit at the wall and some should stick?
LIKE I I'm not happy, that's all I can say about it,'' he said.
LIKE I I've never been good at getting on people's nerves, and from the little quotes I read, it...
ALI SHAHEED MUHAMMAD There's so much crap attached to acting: the fame aspect, the ego aspect, the 'Am I good, am...
REBECCA HALL I'm not like a champion of profanity. I write what I hear, and the characters that I write, that...
STEPHEN ADLY GUIRGIS Success is always something completely different to people. I feel like I've succeeded, if I'...
KRISTEN STEWART I've probably had my best time acting - or not acting, or trying to not act - on things like ...
AIDAN GILLEN It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just t...
LESLIE NIELSEN Even if I don't always behave as I should, this still doesn't explain why so many people hav...
MARIO BALOTELLI There's not enough time in each day to really focus enough attention on any one thing, but I'...
ALEX GUARNASCHELLI People ask me, 'How's 'Teen Wolf?' and I tell them it's literally the best job I...
SHELLEY HENNIG Sometimes I'm doing a big movie, or sometimes I'm doing a TV show, but as an actor, it's...
HIROYUKI SANADA I have had a very physical acting career, but on 'Newsroom,' it's not about physicality,...
TERRY CREWS I found out in pro wrestling that it works better if you just try and be yourself versus working on ...
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN I used to not even be able to order pizza on the phone because I was just so shy. I think that's...
EVAN RACHEL WOOD I think that's why I'm an actor: so I can tell those stories without having to really live t...
AARON LAZAR I've gotten to wear such beautiful clothes and had such a variety and it's just been so nice...
LEIGHTON MEESTER To me that's part of my working day, and I would never refuse a job where I'm under several ...
WARWICK DAVIS A lot of parents tell their children that if they want to be an actor, that's fine, but they sho...
EWAN MCGREGOR I remember all the way back in high school thinking about writing books. And, in fact, I've writ...
PATRICK CARMAN 'Veep' is definitely one of my favorite TV shows, and not because I'm in it. It's ju...
RANDALL PARK I'm not a religious person, so I'm not a hardcore fate fan but I guess it's got me think...
CAROLINE DHAVERNAS It's just a blessing from above. I can't stress that enough, because I don't feel like i...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON For me, I would prefer to not have my face on the album cover. I don't mind being in the public,...
FLUME I have ADD or something. Even when I am doing something, it's me on the computer, I'm painti...
CHARLYNE YI I love how Pilates makes me feel, like it opens me up. I have the hardest time breathing, weirdly en...
SELENA GOMEZ There's been a lot of talk of me being a one-man show but that's simply not the case. We win...
KOBE BRYANT You know, my family and friends have never been yes-men: 'Yes, you're doing the right thing,...
LEBRON JAMES I've gotten to learn what's important in life and what's not important, and what to spen...
AARON RODGERS I'm just so used to music videos or live TV, so to really see something that's scripted and ...
MAREN MORRIS In terms of jobs, I'm an actor. There's gotta' be depth there. I'd never say yes to ...
BILL SKARSGARD I just always wanted to study human behavior because every psychologist that I would talk to would t...
KEVIN GATES People have always said, are you gay? I've had a lot of that. But it's just not in me. I rea...
RUSSELL BRAND I'm a creature of adaptation. I take advantage of the second and the moment. My comedy breathes;...
TOMMY DAVIDSON I was quite a successful evangelist. I've had people write to me and say, 'Gee, I'm a Ch...
DANIEL EVERETT People know my lyrics; they know the stuff I've written, and it's all about life, love, happ...
KASKADE I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's...
DAVID SEDARIS For me personally, I think I just enjoy movies about werewolves or vampires because it's not lik...
AGNES BRUCKNER I'm very spiritual. I meditate every day. I don't know if that's surprising or not, but ...
MADELINE ZIMA I've had a couple opportunities where I've been on the other side of the audition process as...
ALDEN EHRENREICH You want to play another kind of character in another genre, and it's been something I've be...
KEANU REEVES Kevin Hart. He's the man! I like his style. He's short, so I can relate. All the stories he ...
CAMERON BOYCE Feminists who say that I switched sides because I am an opportunist should know that exactly the opp...
WARREN FARRELL I don't want to play myself up as a hero, because it would make me unbelievable. I'd rather ...
HARVEY PEKAR When I'm making an American film, it's more safe because there are so many people on the set...
JACKIE CHAN I always focused on being an actor. I did stand-up briefly, but I also did a lot of dramatic work. B...
AASIF MANDVI

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ALAN BENNETT Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key.
ALAN BENNETT Teachers need to feel they are trusted. They must be allowed some leeway to use their imagination; o...
ALAN BENNETT Closing a public library is child abuse, really, because it hinders child development.
ALAN BENNETT If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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ALAN KAY I'll work overtime to open the doors of opportunity to industry and commerce.
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ALAN MOORE I like Jacques Derrida; I think he's funny. I like my philosophy with a few jokes and puns. I kn...
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ALAN PATON You have to really stretch your imagination to infer what the intrinsic value of Bitcoin is. I haven...
ALAN GREENSPAN I was conveniently bisexual for a long time, and then I went, 'Come on, who am I kidding?' A...
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ALAN BALL Fear and euphoria are dominant forces, and fear is many multiples the size of euphoria. Bubbles go u...
ALAN GREENSPAN And although our bodies are bounded with skin, and we can differentiate between outside and inside, ...
ALAN WATTS There are two worlds we live in: a material world, bound by the laws of physics, and the world insid...
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ALAN WATTS We identify in our exerience a differentiation between what we do and what happens to us.
ALAN WATTS Saints need sinners.
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ALAN CURBISHLEY There may be players wanting to leave, and obviously I have a surplus in the forward area, so this w...
ALAN CURBISHLEY I like working on things that are very different and that involve different disguises.
ALAN CUMMING Actually I like working kind of fast, because if you got it, why bother doing it over and over?
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ALAN CUMMING It's really rare for film directors to be that interested in things other than themselves.
ALAN CUMMING It is not hard to feel like an outsider. I think we have all felt like that at one time or another.
ALAN CUMMING When Brian went by me, I thought he was some guy that jumped on the course.
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ALAN CURRY We haven't made a decision yet. I think there's several options open to us and that's something work...
ALAN CURRY Andrea Yates knew precisely what she was doing, ... She knew that it was wrong.
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ALAN CURBISHLEY I left some of the boys out completely to have a rest,
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ALAN CURBISHLEY The player wanted to come to us and we are very pleased to welcome him.
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ALAN CURRY I would anticipate this case is going to have to be retried.
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ALAN DAVIDSON We?re pleased with the vitality we're seeing in the UK market. Our company accounted for close to a ...
ALAN CURTIS One can always hope, but I worry this will be a repeat of that experience. After the 1960 riots, the...
ALAN CURTIS [Some found Bush's words reassuring. Others worried that they would not resonate far into the future...
ALAN CURTIS But the major mistake is to take the census report as a one-year phenomenon. This is the fourth stra...
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ALAN CURRY He had a fool proof plan for not getting a job - In the event of an interview wear flip-flops.
ALAN DAVIES I think a lot of people feel it would be a mistake.
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ALAN DAVIDSON From a group that cares about civil liberties and cares about kids, this is the right answer.
ALAN DAVIDSON This finding, if it's true, still doesn't change the basic argument we're having about the standards...
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ALAN DAVIDSON It's been a long time coming. Thank God for this day.
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ALAN CROTZER If you really want the truth, leave no stone unturned.
ALAN CROTZER There ain't no compensation for what they done to me. But I'm not bitter.
ALAN CROTZER Especially when it comes to sex offenses, history is a big predictor of the future,
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ALAN CRAWFORD You must give Campbell credit. When we had runners in scoring position, they either made plays or th...
ALAN CRAWFORD Look, we have that problem solved, because there are only three of them in the Olympics. We got 187 ...
ALAN CULPEPPER The Olympic Games tends to be a little more of a coming together of all the nations, so it's differe...
ALAN CULPEPPER Our sport needs spectator friendly and all the help it can get on that side. That adds to the allure...
ALAN CULPEPPER There was a moment there when we were getting concerned,
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ALAN CULPEPPER I feel like the bad conditions and the tough course is to my advantage, just because a lot of people...
ALAN CULPEPPER Every time we tried to get going there was some factor -- weather, wind or turns. I think we all suf...
ALAN CULPEPPER For Athens and Boston, I had really prepared for tough conditions, whereas here you can just prepare...
ALAN CULPEPPER Basically I'm from the old school. We try to score one run an inning in any fashion. A lot of times ...
ALAN CRAWFORD Our defense has been real inconsistent. We've got five weeks to fix it. Hopefully by district tourna...
ALAN CRAWFORD They're nice kids to coach. They work hard. They hit their spots. They don't try to strike everybody...
ALAN CRAWFORD I don't think just scaring people is enough. That worked during the freeze days to a major extent, b...
ALAN CRANSTON I don't feel any need for redemption. I'm satisfied with what I did in the Senate. I don't look back...
ALAN CRANSTON I don't think there's any one definition, but to do effective political work you have to have vision...
ALAN CRANSTON Unless you have a sense of values that's shared by people and turns them loose to do certain things ...
ALAN CRANSTON The idea of being a foreign correspondent and wandering the world and witnessing great events, havin...
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ALAN COX What matters are the applications.
ALAN COX I'm going to Disneyland!
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ALAN COX He's a great kid.
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ALAN COX I figure lots of predictions is best. People will forget the ones I get wrong and marvel over the re...
ALAN COX Live fast, die old, and make very sure everyone knows you were there.
ALAN COX The promoter is all you need for activation and silencing. It's the main site of action where everyt...
ALAN COWMAN The promoter is all you need for activation and silencing. It's the main site of action where everyt...
ALAN COWMAN The promoter is all you need for activation and silencing.
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ALAN COOKE If we'd made it in the conventional way, we would have lost a lot of the feeling that came from thin...
ALAN COOKE We wanted to make something that spoke from the heart to the heart.
ALAN COOKE From the beginning there was an element of fate about the project.
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ALAN COOKE In the 13 years I served, we never had a problem. But I feel we are going downhill.
ALAN COOKE We know it's going to be a difficult challenge, we're under no illusion.
ALAN COOKE It is a niche opportunity for National Savings, it won't have a big impact on us.
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ALAN COOK The problem before was that the chapter was in over its head with this building,
ALAN COOK In our discussions, part of the plan is to put into writing a memorandum of understanding that the m...
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ALAN COOK All of the paintings in the Museum Art Online collection are known to have a status of world-wide fa...
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ALAN COLMES You know what bothers me more? Whether or not a member of the White House leaked the identity of a C...
ALAN COLMES sure beats being plucked off the top of your home by a helicopter.
ALAN COLMES I take personal responsibility.
ALAN COLMES Also, interestingly enough, some of the things he was accused of believing ...actually were not his ...
ALAN COLMES the real smear here, is against the Democrats who are held up as these evil people... Heaven forbid ...
ALAN COLMES I still believe that the Democrats have it right about health care, education, the war in Iraq and, ...
ALAN COLMES Genius, scholar, and war hero though he is, you have to admit - or maybe you should think about admi...
ALAN COLMES Democrats need to be not only gracious in defeat, but positive about the future.
ALAN COLMES Can we make money from this? That remains to be seen.
ALAN COLMAN Singapore is gaining a lot of credibility as a good place to work. It has actually been easier for m...
ALAN COLMAN It has undoubtedly harmed the image not just in Singapore, where I directly feel it has impacted our...
ALAN COLMAN Although Singapore has a relatively limited pool of scientists as compared to the U.K., it has maxim...
ALAN COLMAN They are a big catch. They are prominent researchers, very successful in the U.S..
ALAN COLMAN Practice, it is said, makes perfect. But is it ethical to practice? And I absolutely think it is not...
ALAN COLMAN There has been a fairly marked recovery in retail demand that has created a slightly greater lift in...
ALAN COLE There are other kitchens running locally, but you know there are lots of folks who may not get the r...
ALAN COLE We got an e-mail before we got here and the Red Cross needs 300,000 meals a day for 90 days and poss...
ALAN COLE We had a lot of trouble at the Grove and the guys stayed up all night getting the cars ready to come...
ALAN COLE