I am stricken with the peculiar curse of being a 21st-century woman who makes more than the man she's living with - first with a husband for 13 years and now with a new partner.

I am a woman of the 21st Century who is self-assured and speaks my mind.

I am a longtime, rabid fan of Jonathan Kozol.

I am shamed to realize that in my marriage, my daughters never heard their father and me fight, which also meant, perhaps, that we didn't truly communicate.

I cohabited for 20 years with my longtime husband and father of my two now-teen daughters in a stable family household.

In our youths, many of us suspected that being tied down to a partner and family might constrain us. But after 40, even that landscape starts to shift. Many singletons turn inward and start longing for the things so many of us longed to be free of in our 20s.