I am told that our chroniclers' practice of inventing speeches for great persons whose lives they write is unscholarly.

Did you know you just put the peel in the pan and the potatoes down the waste disposal?' he enquired with interest.
'It's a new recipe.'
His lips twitched but his expression remained solemn. 'The results should be...interesting.

Watch your mouth: The language we use creates the reality we experience.

There was a rare quality about Nurse Grace’s smile. It was the knowledge that sooner or later her smile would inspire some witty observer to say something around the lines of, “Every time you do this, an angel farts”.

I am being a little tongue-in-cheek.

Master Dung’s study was silent. So silent, in fact, that one might have been able to hear a gnat passing air, if only an obligingly flatulent gnat had happened nearby.