I believe that once we are all gone, Keith Richards will still be here...with 5 cockroaches saying 'you know I smoked your uncle, did you know that?'

And then there was [Secretary of Defense Donald] Rumsfeld coming out and saying, "I don't know when. I don't know where. But something bad is going to happen." And everyone else is saying, "Wait a minute, are you working with Miss Cleo or something? What is this, the Central Intuitive Agency?" . . . And you have Bush, hearing about all the fighting over Kashmir, and saying, "What? It's just a sweater!"

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and yelling, "You want a piece of me?"

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'

The brightest light has gone out. We will forever celebrate her loving spirit.

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?"