I call myself a 'domestic goddess

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'

I'm tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now I, working as the physical manifestation of the goddess Isis and the reincarnation of Cleopatra, have decided to save the world.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, "Sorry, we're open."

I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny. And I discovered a lot of great writers that went on to do a lot of great shows like 'Seinfeld,' 'Friends,' you know, 'Three and a Half Men.'