I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
Groucho Marx
Related
I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX What we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. There are people we trust b...
STEPHEN R. COVEY Sometimes we want something so much that God will have us give it up so we can grow
(I CANNOT REMEMBER) Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER I do have an impulse to sort of leverage what I say against something I disagree with.
MARILYNNE ROBINSON When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
GROUCHO MARX I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD I disagree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.
VOLTAIRE Do I disagree that we need to ban all Muslims from entering the country? Yes, I disagree with that s...
BILL HASLAM I have disagreements with some and more agreements with others. But that doesn't mean I cannot l...
MOHAMMAD JAVAD ZARIF It is not that I disagree with you, it is just that I'm not in full accord.
UNKNOWN What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON I cannot say that I know Brahman fully.
Nor can I say that I know him not....
Nor do I kno...
PRABHAVANANDA They say that a part of you dies when a special Loved One passes away...I disagree...I say a part of...
DANIEL YANEZ I do press junkets and people will tell me what I've supposedly said in articles and I always disagr...
MEG RYAN Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX Just as Marx used to say about the French Marxists of the late seventies: All I know is that I am no...
FRIEDRICH ENGELS Just as Marx used to say about the French "Marxists" of the late seventies: "All I know is that I am...
FRIEDRICH ENGELS I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE I say that I found peace. I do not say that I was not lonely. I was--terribly. I do not say that I d...
ELISABETH ELLIOT Some say "you are what you eat". But I completely disagree. You are what you think!
PHILIP T. M. The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH I disagree with people who think you learn more from getting beat up than you do from winning.
TOM CRUISE I disagree with people who think you learn more from getting beat up than you do from winning
TOM CRUISE I cannot afford to lose you, too"
"You cannot lose something you do not own. Take me with you
KIERSTEN WHITE I was raised in Duluth, Minnesota, where you never say that you're cold, or that you're suff...
MARIA BAMFORD I'm a daughter, not a clone. So, of course, daughters often disagree with things their fathers s...
IVANKA TRUMP I cannot say this too strongly: Do not compare yourselves to others. Be true to who you are, and con...
DAISAKU IKEDA I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generatio...
JOE ROGAN Have you ever heard people say "you are what you eat" I completely disagree. You are what you think!
PHILIP T. M. Out of respect for our client, Mr. Cummings, we try to refrain from any comment on this situation. T...
DAVID HOWELL I do not agree with a word that you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it
VOLTAIRE I am not afraid if the criticism concerns what I do wrong, because then I know. Because if you say t...
BHUMIBOL ADULYADEJ I am a Marxist... of the Groucho tendency.
SOURCE UNKNOWN I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.
ANONYMOUS You tell me that yes, I can do it. I know.
And I may do it, if I so choose.
You tell me t...
RICHELLE E. GOODRICH But on those occasions when I do strongly disagree with the Democrats and I don't say anything, ...
BARNEY FRANK I'd always heard stories about how Harpo Marx was the most talkative of the Marx brothers. I fou...
HARMONY KORINE Do you know, the only people I can have a conversation with are the Jews? At least when they quote s...
IAIN PEARS You should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge...
MINDY KALING I do not support a North American Union. I disagree fundamentally with that, and I think the United ...
SAM BROWNBACK you have right to disagree with me. you have right to understand what you had understand ( of course...
DR. SHAILESH THAKER It does not disagree with my determination, it does not say that the boy cannot be reunited with his...
JANET RENO Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I'm disagreeable.
SAMUEL GOLDWYN To eat well, I always disagree with critics who say that all restaurants should be fine dining. You ...
DAVID CHANG My kids are no different than anyone else's - they tend to disagree with everything I say!
WAYNE GRETZKY There is no privilege in restriction. In other words, I disagree with people who say restriction mak...
ASGHAR FARHADI The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too ...
NAPOLEON BONAPARTE The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too ...
NAPOLEON BONAPARTE How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an ant...
RONALD REAGAN How do you tell a Communist? Well, it’s someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an a...
RONALD REAGAN I won't close down a business of subnormal profitability merely to add a fraction of a point to our ...
WARREN BUFFETT Do not say the land ahead does not exist, simply because you cannot see it.
ROBERT H. BARLOW What people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what...
EDWARD EVERETT HALE I 100 percent disagree with everything you said, but I'm glad you said it.
BARRY RICHARDS To have a liberal temperament is a kind of psychological boon, To be able to understand that someone...
PETER GAY To have a liberal temperament is a kind of psychological boon, To be able to understand that someone...
PETER GAY According to the wire, you are resting well and are being taken care of by a nurse. I hope she is be...
GROUCHO MARX If I disagree with you sometimes, it's because I have a mind of my own.
EMMA PAUL I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
GROUCHO MARX I can assure you that everything I say and do has the complete approval of the Fuehrer and that I wo...
HJALMAR SCHACHT Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
JOHN WOODEN We cannot cheat on DNA. We cannot get round photosynthesis. We cannot say I am not going to give a d...
DAME BARBARA WARD How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an...
RONALD REAGAN I couldn't disagree with them more.
CRAIG QUIGLEY I cannot say that any group will be entirely excited with this constitution.
BARHAM SALIH If you agree with some tenets of Objectivism, but disagree with others, do not call yourself an Obje...
AYN RAND The military say always salute the flag before you disagree with your commanding officer. If you can...
DAVID MAXFIELD When people disagree with you, what you ultimately have to do is persuade people to agree with you -...
BILL JAMES I've got to say, I've probably seen a lot more of the Three Stooges than of the Marx Brother...
SPIKE JONZE You cannot take what I already know from me. You cannot withhold what I do not know from me because ...
SHANTELEE R. BROWN Once you start playing a piece, there is a connection between every note. You cannot say, 'I wil...
DANIEL BARENBOIM I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.
EVELYN BEATRICE HALL I still have a lot of judgmentalism in me, where I'd see somebody, and I just would, you know, I...
SAM BROWNBACK Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living. You said I killed you--haunt me then. T...
EMILY BRONTë I'm not staid and unbiased here. I have certain biases I want to convey, and if you disagree, th...
NEIL CAVUTO Do not indoctrinate your children. Teach them how to think for themselves, how to evaluate evidence,...
RICHARD DAWKINS Robertson later said he meant a regime change, not an assassination, ... It's fair to say, however, ...
JESSE JACKSON I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.
MOTHER TERESA What you are thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do...
EDWARD EVERETT HALE As I grow older, I become more and more of a Marxist - Groucho, that is. When you have lived two-thi...
KAREN DECROW For harmony is a symphony, and symphony is an agreement; but an agreement of disagreements while the...
PLATO Bush used a version of the same technique: 'I heard somebody say, well, maybe so-and-so is not patri...
HOWARD KURTZ You couldn’t say: It’s not my fault. You couldn’t say: It’s not my responsibility. You could...
TERRY PRATCHETT I am only one, but still I am one.I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because ...
HELEN KELLER I disagree with you, but I still like you as a person who is a human being and I will treat you like...
ROBBY NOVAK I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and becaus...
HELEN KELLER I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because...
EDWARD EVERETT HALE I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because...
HELEN KELLER Pick up your clothes. I am not your maid. How do I know this? A maid cannot kill you with a tube soc...
ROB THURMAN
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX