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I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.


Groucho Marx

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I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
GROUCHO MARX You can run until the cows come home.
DAVE STEVENS You can eat alkaline foods until the cows come home, but if you're a miserable SOB, you're acidic.
NANCY S. MURE I can drink tea until the cows come home and I love the atmosphere in tea-shops.
ZOLA BUDD You may rezoloot till the cows come home.
JOHN HAY Kiss till the cows come home.
FRANCIS BEAUMONT AND JOHN FLETCHER Money is a cow, if you are passionate it's time for the cows to come home.
LILY CHATTERJEE You can second guess until the cows come home but if you score 15 points in the second half you're j...
JOE FENLON I've told Carole, you can hold out for your bill until the cows come home, but it's not going to hap...
MIKE SIMPSON I was Popeye mad when I was a kid, and I'd eat spinach until the cows came home.
PAUL O'GRADY I warrant you lay abed till the cows came home.
JONATHAN SWIFT Despotic governments can stand 'moral force' till the cows come home; what they fear is physical for...
GEORGE ORWELL My maternal grandmother would sit, before binge-watching existed, and watch 'Poirot' until t...
BILLY HOWLE A special breed of cows have legs shorter on the one side than the other so they can walk along the ...
BRENT M. JONES Even after it all, would you dance with me again in the eye of the storm?”

“I'd dance...
DIANNA HARDY When storms come, trees dance in the rain until the rainbow comes. Do likewise.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO I enjoy what I do very much, ... When I was a kid I helped my Dad with the cows on our farm. He was ...
DAN EDWARDS Bring it on, ... You want a dance-off, come on up here. I'll give you a dance-off.
ABC ENTERTAINMENT We as like the rain, dance with the wind until the end
DR.MOHAMMED FAIG ABAD ALRAZAK Board the cows! We've come to enslave your marigolds.
LIBBA BRAY Sometimes the grass really IS greener on the other side and you're happier, until you step in shit a...
JOANNA MOJA A girl's got to do what she's got to do to make somebody pay her a compliment. If that means moaning...
CAT DEELEY I can see you, out there, reading between the lines. Come home, stranger. Come home, untangler of my...
KAMILA SHAMSIE I love you - I am at rest with you - I have come home.
DOROTHY L. SAYERS I love you- I am at rest with you- I have come home.
DOROTHY L. SAYERS I love you - I am at rest with you- I have come home.
DOROTHY L. SAYERS The desires of the heart are as crooked as corkscrews
Not to be born is the best for man
T...
W.H. AUDEN Home is watching the moon rise over the open, sleeping land and having someone you can call to the w...
STEPHEN KING You don't know what it's like until you've dealt with the problem in your home.
DAVE CORNELIUSSEN We'd get the cows in and milk before school every day, then we'd go to school, and get home that nig...
DAN SMOOTS Every atom in your body spins and dances
like a bee around the queen,
like a whirling derv...
KHANG KIJARRO NGUYEN I promise you this. I’ll love you until the day I die even if I have to live without you. And if i...
KATHERINE ALLRED I come from a broken home. My parents split up when I was nine. Everyone gave me a good wallop. But ...
LEN GOODMAN Dance with the music and I promise you that the music will dance back.
PABLO D. RODRIGUEZ I’m always soft for you, that’s the problem. You could come knocking on my door five years from ...
AZRA T. When the cat is not home, the mice will dance on the table.
DUTCH PROVERB I'm just sorry I couldn't come home with a second Olympic gold medal.
KATIE TAYLOR A girl's got to do what she's got to do to make somebody pay her a compliment. If that means...
CAT DEELEY Dance, Live, Sing, Cry, Love, Travel and Love again, until the day you have to stop
VANESSA VANNEY THOMPSON I don't want to hide. I want to slow dance with you again. I want to dance with you forever.
SARAH BLACK Hide until everybody goes home. Hide until everybody forgets about you. Hide until everybody dies.
YOKO ONO We can only query against that which we have collected. And so if someone has never made a ripple in...
JAMES COMEY Come Fairies, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon...
WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS You can live as a ghost, waiting for death to come, or you can dance.
ALAN GRATZ You never really thought anything about it until you're affected by it. Then it brings it home,
ANN MOORE Each day before the end of eve
she sought her lover, nor would him leave,
until the stars ...
J.R.R. TOLKIEN In the average newspaper there is not a complete suppression of stories that the sacred cows don't w...
CARL SANDBURG I think it's great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect the...
KRISTEN SCHAAL Now, whether there are other issues as to it relates to issues like drinking and partying and those ...
JOE CHESHIRE Indian films never show cows. When you go to India, the most noticeable thing is the cows. Everywher...
GURINDER CHADHA My first thought when I got here was 'Maybe I should have stayed home. But I love to dance, so I sta...
EDWIN JACKSON The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with ...
P. J. O'ROURKE Until you become a woman you don't know the things that come with being a woman.
BETHENNY FRANKEL People are so welcoming. When you travel to a square dance, you arrive and feel like you are coming ...
DEE DEE DOUGHERTY LOTTIE If to dance is to dream, then you make dreams come true
MARTHA GRAHAM Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves. For th...
BIBLE It does not matter how sweet you can sing a song of love. You must know how to dance along with it. ...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR When I started off with 'Dance India Dance,' even the TV show people thought it won't be...
TERENCE LEWIS During drought, the priority is the family and the sick, followed by cows and goats. Men usually com...
JACQUI GOLDIN If you're driving around or at home with the stereo blasting pure dance track, it gets boring wi...
BERNARD SUMNER You've got to sing sometimes like you don't need the money. Love sometimes like you'll never get hur...
GLENDA JACKSON I was a dancer of no repute. But dance taught me a lot. You walk into a dance studio knowing you hav...
DAN PHILLIPS Sometimes you dance with a partner, and sometimes you dance alone. But the important thing is to kee...
JACK CANFIELD Dance for yourself. If someone understands, good. If not, no matter. Go right on doing what interest...
LOUIS HORST We thought it was only fair they be here. They're playing on our team, they should come to our dance...
JUSTIN BAKER They're all gone, my tribe is gone. Those blankets they gave us, infected with smallpox, have killed...
SHERMAN ALEXIE Until quite recently dance in America was the ragged Cinderella of the arts . . .
SHANA ALEXANDER Until quite recently dance in America was the ragged Cinderella of the arts.
SHANA ALEXANDER You haven't really been anywhere until you've got back home.
TERRY PRATCHETT Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW Until You Come Back to Me.
ARETHA FRANKLIN None of my friends don't have Facebook accounts. Op-eds and studies can highlight our decreased ...
ADORA SVITAK Years of drought and famine come and years of flood and famine come, and the climate is not changed ...
JOHN WESLEY POWELL I've come home in love with loneliness
L.M. MONTGOMERY We need you to come home.
CRISTIN HARBER I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN Faeries, come take me out of this dull world,
For I would ride with you upon the wind,
Run...
W.B. YEATS From my debut until now, I've always wanted to sing and dance.
NAMIE AMURO Basically it starts with four months of training, just basic stretching, kicking and punching. Then ...
KEANU REEVES You really don't feel disasters like these until it hits home.
CHARLES SCOTT I think you're the only person who gets me. When I'm with you, the world doesn't feel like a problem...
JODI PICOULT For a dollar a dance these experienced country dancers will dance with you. They'll spin you around ...
ANITA BROCCOLINO If the cows get sick, we treat them with herbal remedies. We're just shocked by how fast they recupe...
MARTHA JEAN If you step on everyone's toes, you will have no one to dance with.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you… your heads addled with novels and poems. You come home...
MONTY PYTHON I thought I was second until they told me I won, so I was kind of surprised. I'm not happy with the ...
DESTINEE HOOKER I come from a world of hip-hop, but I love all types of music, and that's what Revolt will refle...
SEAN COMBS Hold it down until you come up
JOHNNIE DENT JR. Scoops of mint ice cream with chips of chocolate cows.
JIM BISHOP Father, dear father, come home with me now, The clock in the belfry strikes one; You said you were c...
HENRY CLAY WORK Release your cows so you can be truly happy.
THICH NHAT HANH With the winds we have today (30-35 mph in Boulder County), you could have fires that could outrace ...
JUSTIN DOMBROWSKI We need you, Dennis, wherever you are. We've got your ruby red slippers here. Come home. And bring T...
LUC LONGLEY I'm just happy Ryan could come home.
REESE WITHERSPOON Where you are with what you have, what you can do.
DHARM BABU Bill Bailey, Won't You Please Come Home.
LOUIS ARMSTRONG When do you come home to me?
SARAH J. MAAS We spend more on cows than the poor.
GORDON BROWN Nothing else matters so much as long as you can come home and be with your family.
PATRICK DEMPSEY From my debut until now, I've always wanted to sing and dance.
NAMIE AMURO

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX