I could have made a neat retort but didn't, for I was flurried and didn't think of it till I was downstairs

Adam was the author of sin, and I wish he had taken out an international copyright on it.

After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients, no, three, I think / yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

My advice to girls: first, don't smoke to excess; second, don't drink to excess; third, don't marry to excess.