I didn't think then, and I still don't, that I was actually sick.

I used to lie between cool, clean sheets at night after I'd had a bath, after I had washed my hair and scrubbed my knuckles and finger-nails and teeth. Then I could lie quite still in the dark with my face to the window with the trees in it, and talk to God.

I think God just died of old age. And, when I realized that he wasn't any more, it didn't shock me. It seemed natural and right!

It puzzled me that other people hadn't found out, too. God was gone. We were younger. We had reached past him. Why couldn't they see it? It still puzzles me.

I went to Sunday School and liked the stories about Christ and the Christmas star. They were beautiful. They made you warm and happy to think about. But I didn't believe them.

Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends.