I do a lot of things for effect, which is not to say I am superficial, but that I know how to put ideas across.

I am half-Byronic, half-moronic; part-shaman, part-showman.

I am not an intellectual. An intellectual is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso, whereas I just say 'pass the mustard'.

I am a fraud. I have cobbled together my personality from hundreds of little bits. I am simultaneously the most genuine and the most artificial person you will ever meet.

Pain can be vitalising; it gives intensity in the place of vagueness and emptiness. If we don't suffer, how do we know that we live?

I know how deeply slothful I am.