I don't pretend to be a great interviewer; I don't even pretend to be good at my job.


Chelsea Handler

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I'm crazy and I don't pretend to be anything else.
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I'm crazy, and I don't pretend to be anything else.
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I don't want to pretend to be a prophet or a saint. I'm very conscious of my limitations. I ...
NORMAN FINKELSTEIN
I don't pretend to be anything but an actor and a writer.
DAN FUTTERMAN
I don't pretend to be captain weird. I just do what I do.
JOHNNY DEPP
I like to be myself, and I don't pretend. For instance, I don't dress up for occasions; I am...
VIRAT KOHLI
I dress the way I want. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not.
BRITNEY SPEARS
I'm not a housing market expert, and I don't want to pretend to be one.
ERIC MASKIN
I don't know what else I could do but pretend to be an actor.
ALEC GUINNESS
To be a mother you must be strong. Even if you don't feel it, you have to pretend.
SADE ADU
I'm very proud of being a woman, and as a woman, I don't even like the word 'feminism...
EVANGELINE LILLY
Don't pretend to be a journalist if you're not a journalist.
BERNARD GOLDBERG
They keep saying that beautiful is something a girl needs to be. But honestly? Forget that. Don’t ...
NIKITA GILL
I wouldn't say I'm a connoisseur of film. I like certain films, but I don't pretend to b...
CHRISTOPHER GUEST
I don't want to pretend I'm any cooler or smarter than I am.
M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN
I have strengths, and I have weaknesses. I don't pretend to be able to write a great thesis or d...
BOB AINSWORTH
As a young girl, I used to dream of giving an interview. You dream of stardom as a kid. People think...
SANIA MIRZA
I love people who are very honest and very open and don't pretend to be anything they're not...
CAT DEELEY
It's better to be honest about your opinions than to pretend you don't have them.
CAMPBELL BROWN
Don't ignore big problems, and don't try to pretend that problems are smaller than they are.
GINA RAIMONDO
Don't be a smart ass!
Smartass die first!!
DEYTH BANGER
I don't even have a small boat. I don't even have a toy boat in my bathtub. I don't have...
MO IBRAHIM
I don't want to show my pain. I resisted; I hesitated. I tried to be invisible, to pretend that ...
SONIA RYKIEL
If I'm going to eat fast food, I'm going to McDonald's. I don't need to pretend.
CHRISSY TEIGEN
What I'm dealing with is sound. I don't pretend to be dealing with music. I'm just deali...
BILL LASWELL
I don't feel sorry for myself, because I'm living my dream. Even when I was a little boy I u...
JOHN BARROWMAN
You can pretend to be serious; but you can't pretend to be witty.
SACHA GUITRY
Yes, it must be something that goes very well with my voice, let's say something that I understa...
VICTORIA DE LOS ANGELES
I'd prefer 'be strong' than 'don't worry'.
TOBA BETA
I'm not particularly needy, and I'm not particularly anxious. I don't look for a directo...
CATE BLANCHETT
One of the reasons for me that there's no 'Spaced 3' is that I don't think you can p...
EDGAR WRIGHT
I'm not 'one of the guys.' I don't want to pretend to be one on stage. I'm not g...
NATASHA LEGGERO
It's sometimes better to pretend I don't hear the sound of somebody in the nearby woods with...
DASHIELL HAMMETT
When you pick up a book, everyone knows it's imaginary. You don't have to pretend it's n...
PAUL AUSTER
I don't want a job, and I think I've been trying my hardest to make sure I don't have a ...
MAC DEMARCO
It's fun to pretend you're good at something you know you wouldn't be good at in real li...
BEN WHISHAW
I don't speak Spanish. I understand enough of it, having spent some time running Telemundo, and ...
RANDY FALCO
I question myself every day. That's what I still find motivating about this. I don't have th...
ANDRE AGASSI
I don't pretend we have all the answers. But the questions are certainly worth thinking about.
ARTHUR C. CLARKE
I have a hard enough time speaking for myself - I don't pretend I can be a spokesman for anybody...
MATHIEU KASSOVITZ
There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I don't have anything to fix! I don't smoke, I don't drink, and I don't eat carbs. M...
JASON BATEMAN
There are people that have that confidence, who march into VIP areas. I assume I won't get in. I...
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I don't want to be entertained. I don't want visuals or musicals. I don't want a vacatio...
ANNE GRAHAM LOTZ
I'm spoilt. I like my own space. I don't even own a microwave, and men don't like that. ...
MARIE HELVIN
I don't pretend that I can predict the future value of the growth rate or rate of return.
THOMAS PIKETTY
He says to us: They don't really do anything. Then he adds: But of course there is not a lot for the...
LYDIA DAVIS
My love for you is like diarrhoea, it never stops.
DUDE I'M KIDNAPPING BYUN BAEKHYUN.
You don't set off in life to be mediocre. At least, I don't.
WILLIE ROBERTSON
Don't be afraid to be who you are because you are the only person who knows you best.
SAREDO ALI
I'd love to be a saxophonist. I don't know why, but I pretend I'm the saxophonist when I...
RICHARD PRICE
To pretend you don't feel a certain strangeness after living in England for 40 years is a fallac...
TREVOR MCDONALD
Don't pretend to know everything. I've been blessed to work with a lot of veteran actors, an...
MICHAEL B. JORDAN
I don't pretend there aren't biological differences, but I don't believe the desire for ...
SHERYL SANDBERG
The hardest moment comes BEFORE you get started. #DontGiveUpNow
MANI S. SIVASUBRAMANIAN
I don't do my own stunts, but I do my own fighting. I don't consider fighting to be a stunt.
LIAM NEESON
I don't miss acting. I don't even see movies. I don't see plays. I don't watch telev...
CHARLES GRODIN
I don't pretend to be Joy Division or New Order. What I do is very straight forward: it's an...
PETER HOOK
If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn...
OSCAR WILDE
I don't like to do much with my hair - which is good, because I don't know how! I just alway...
CHYLER LEIGH
Something I like to do a lot is just sit by water when there's a current and just stare into the...
IGGY POP
I am not a fake. I am natural. I am just being Caster. I don't want to be someone I don't wa...
CASTER SEMENYA
I don't want to be interesting. I want to be good.
LUDWIG MIES VAN DER ROHE
I can't pretend to be a teenager, but I feel like I never really stopped being a teenager.
GAYLE FORMAN
I don't consider myself to be a celebrity. I don't fit that mould.
EMMA WATSON
I don't tour the TV studios. I don't gossip over lunch. I don't drink in Parliament'...
THERESA MAY
I don't need to be vindicated, and I don't want attention.
RAY BRADBURY
When we are children or teenagers, most of us experience something which has devastating effects on ...
MARINO BACCARINI
People ask me about my limp. I say, 'You know, I don't know how bad it is, because I don'...
TERI GARR
I don't want to have to be pretty. I don't want to have to be adorable.
KRISTIN SCOTT THOMAS
In talking, shyness and timidity distort the very meaning of my words. I don't pretend to know a...
GWEN JOHN
I don't want to be an artist that gets stuck doing one thing. I don't want to be an artist w...
RYAN MCGINLEY
I don't need my sexuality celebrated, and I certainly don't need it to be criticized. I didn...
EZRA MILLER
I don't do too much outside of football during football season, because this is my job and I tak...
ROBERT GRIFFIN III
Don't go away. I don't want to be alone. I can't stand being alone.
ARNOLD ROTHSTEIN
I don't want to be away from wrestling even a little.
DANIEL BRYAN
There's something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be...
BILLY COLLINS
I'm a crier. I always cry. I cry at the dumbest things, too. This is why I sort of steer clear o...
YVONNE STRAHOVSKI
I don't want to know movie directors. I don't want to be close to them. I don't want to ...
PATRICIA HIGHSMITH
I don't have Facebook; I don't have Twitter. I don't have anything because, believe it o...
WISSAM AL MANA
Luckily, I don't have to be anybody but Yolanda, because people don't expect me to be anythi...
YOLANDA ADAMS
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be assoc...
STEVEN WRIGHT
My main piece of advice would be don't worry about being published - just write a really good bo...
DAVID LEVITHAN
I knew nothing about martial arts. And I don't really like it! But in the film, I not only had t...
ZIYI ZHANG
I definitely don't see myself as an actor. I don't even have it on my passport. I've got...
JOHN GORDON SINCLAIR
I don't even own a television. I don't watch network television.
JACK FALAHEE
I haven't had that one great love, which is good. I don't want that to be in the past - I wa...
TAYLOR SWIFT
I don't want to be in Terminator. I don't want to go to Hollywood.
ERIC CANTONA
You know, I don't watch television! Sorry! I actually don't even have a television. I don...
BROOKE SMITH
I just want to make music, I don't want people to talk about me. All I've ever wanted to do ...
ADELE
Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
BILLY CONNOLLY
I don't think music is my job - I don't think about it that way, because I don't really ...
CASS MCCOMBS
I don't consider my life to be boring at all. I consider my life to be massively fortunate.
EVE PLUMB
You can't pretend to be a Sharon Stone or a Marilyn Monroe. You really can't fake that.
CLAIRE BLOOM
Don't call me a saint. I don't want to be dismissed so easily.
DOROTHY DAY
I don't want to do 'Hamlet.' I don't want to do Robert Redford roles or Mel Gibson r...
GENE WILDER
I know who my dad is, I've met him a few times, but I don't even call him dad. I know it sou...
SALLY PEARSON
I don't mean to be presumptuous that men don't feel this, I don't mean this, but I found...
TEA LEONI

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...there's not enough ink and paper to say all I wanted.
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who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.
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I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did.
DANIEL HANDLER
I'm telling you why we broke up, Ed. I'm writing this letter, the whole truth of why it happened. An...
DANIEL HANDLER
I’m not a romantic, I’m a half-wit. Only stupid people would think I’m smart. I’m not someth...
DANIEL HANDLER
Ed, it was everything, those nights on the phone, everything we said until late became later and the...
DANIEL HANDLER
I started making plans, thinking we would get that far.
DANIEL HANDLER
I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy.
DANIEL HANDLER
Stop saying no offense,” I said, “when you say offensive things. It’s not a free pass.
DANIEL HANDLER
Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemeter...
DANIEL HANDLER
Shit, I guess I already loved you then. Doomed like a wineglass knowing it’ll get dropped someday,...
DANIEL HANDLER
I know you can't see it, not you, Ed, but maybe if I tell you the whole plot you'll understand it th...
DANIEL HANDLER
How many happy people do you think there are in the world? Twelve?
DANIEL HANDLER
I guess it's funny how life turns out?" she tried. "Not last I checked," Errol said with a snort.
DANIEL HANDLER
I write every day weekdays for about 5 hours, mostly longhand on legal pads. It has gotten neither h...
DANIEL HANDLER
Any playlist without Prince is no friend of mine.
DANIEL HANDLER
I can cook anything.
DANIEL HANDLER
I write longhand on legal pads, about half at home and half in cafes. I drink a lot of water and eat...
DANIEL HANDLER
I like writing for movies. It's nice to be alone working on fiction in your room, and then it...
DANIEL HANDLER
I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming i...
DANIEL HANDLER
I was not a particularly brave child, I think, because I had a narrative mind, because my mind autom...
DANIEL HANDLER
I listen to Morricone, the famed Italian film composer, while I'm working.
DANIEL HANDLER
You see failed vocabulary in the adult world so often, and it's often because once you reach a c...
DANIEL HANDLER
I'm always interested to see what films are made of books. I kind of don't participate as a ...
DANIEL HANDLER
If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the ...
DANIEL HANDLER
'The Long Goodbye' is one book I like to read over and over again, and it was an enormous in...
DANIEL HANDLER
The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wo...
DANIEL HANDLER
So many people: Lucille Ball is the earliest incarnation of a woman I thought was funny, Joan Rivers...
CHELSEA PERETTI
When my father announced his campaign for president on Oct. 3, 1991, I had already cast my vote in f...
CHELSEA CLINTON
There's something about the Pacific Northwest, the scale of it, and the fact that not so long ag...
CHELSEA CAIN
While watching the revelry in the Barn, I'd had an epiphany. Parties weren't just about who was who ...
CHELSEA SEDOTI
Unfortunately, it seems to me that when it comes to issues affecting the trans community, most peopl...
CHELSEA MANNING
Suffrage is not a right afforded to everyone. Rather, voting is a privilege in the United States - a...
CHELSEA MANNING
Wear an unusual accessory to complete your outfit.
CHELSEA LEYLAND
I've always been incredibly proud of both of my parents and proud of the work I had done private...
CHELSEA CLINTON
My grandmother, who passed away at the beginning of November, had a core adage in her life that '...
CHELSEA CLINTON
I hope telling stories though 'Making a Difference' - as in my academic work and nonprofit w...
CHELSEA CLINTON
The best thing about being a DJ is making people happy. There is nothing like seeing people get up f...
CHELSEA LEYLAND
Patriotism is often the cry extolled when morally questionable acts are advocated by those in power....
CHELSEA MANNING
I've been a huge fan of Marc Jacobs for many, many years, even going back to when I was wearing ...
CHELSEA MANNING
Having a birthday around the holidays was never easy and, with every successive year, it felt more a...
CHELSEA MANNING
My mother has often said that the issue of women is the unfinished business of the 21st century. Tha...
CHELSEA CLINTON
I believe that engaging in the political process is part of being a good person.
CHELSEA CLINTON
Oxford is wonderful. I'm having a great time. We do go out, but I still try to spend most of my ...
CHELSEA CLINTON
I certainly believe that all of my friends should have the right, as Marc and I did, to marry their ...
CHELSEA CLINTON
There's something else that my mother taught me, public service is about service. And, as her da...
CHELSEA CLINTON
I hope to make a positive, productive contribution, as cheesy as that may sound.
CHELSEA CLINTON
As a kid, I was pretty obsessed with dinosaurs and the day that my parents took me to Dinosaur Natio...
CHELSEA CLINTON