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I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.


Joel McHale

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QUEEN ELIZABETH II

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JOEL MCHALE If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.
JOEL MCHALE Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair gla...
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JOEL MCHALE Follow what your head is telling you and work hard. That's the big secret.
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KEVIN MCHALE an intimacy that can't be reproduced.
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FINTAN MCHALE It's going to be a physical spring.
MARK MCHALE That's not good enough. We charted out 47 passes and 25 runs per game last season. We need to increa...
MARK MCHALE That wasn't physically getting beat. It was a miscommunication deal.
MARK MCHALE We'll be fine. I have guys that are good athletes and quick feet. I can work with that.
MARK MCHALE The thing about linemen is they got to be athletes - you don't want the big fat guys that can't move...
MARK MCHALE We'll see if he's one of those kind of players.
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CELESTE FLETCHER MCHALE the words of a madman are only chaos to the sane.
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JOEL OSTEEN My mom always said that there would be haters. Not everyone can love ya.
JOEL MADDEN I've done a lot of self-improvement. I'm always working on being a better person.
JOEL MADDEN Some people keep God in a Sunday morning box and say, 'Hey, I did my religious duty.' That&#...
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JOEL OSTEEN I believe if you keep your faith, you keep your trust, you keep the right attitude, if you're gr...
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JOEL OSTEEN When you focus on being a blessing, God makes sure that you are always blessed in abundance.
JOEL OSTEEN Let go of yesterday. Let today be a new beginning and be the best that you can, and you'll get t...
JOEL OSTEEN See, when you drive home today, you've got a big windshield on the front of your car. And you...
JOEL OSTEEN We have these weapons of mass destruction on every street corner, and they're called donuts, che...
JOEL FUHRMAN The main rule to me is to honor God with your life. To life a life of integrity. Not be selfish. You...
JOEL OSTEEN Faith is about trusting God when you have unanswered questions.
JOEL OSTEEN I wouldn't ever say if you're having tough times then there must be something wrong with you...
JOEL OSTEEN There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better ...
BILLY JOEL Micronutrient-poor foods, like pasta, sugar, and soda, don't just give you empty calories and ma...
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JOEL FUHRMAN If you want ideal health, you need to overcompensate and eat an excellent diet.
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JOEL FUHRMAN Healthy people eating healthy food should never need to take an antibiotic.
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JOEL FUHRMAN What you eat matters. It influences the quality of your life.
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JOEL FUHRMAN The goal of my diet-style is eating for optimal health and longevity. What greater benefit could the...
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JOEL FUHRMAN I mean we all need a second chance sometimes.
JOEL OSTEEN We were old sinners - but when we came to Christ we are not sinners anymore.
JOEL OSTEEN God didn't make a mistake when He made you. You need to see yourself as God sees you.
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JOEL OSTEEN God can cause opportunity to find you. He has unexpected blessings where you suddenly meet the right...
JOEL OSTEEN So we got there at 6 a.m. We'd be shooting by 6:45. We wouldn't break for lunch, we'd ju...
JOEL SCHUMACHER In my house, I'm not allowed to shout at anybody. It's very strict. It's a very Christia...
JOEL COURTNEY Without cigarettes, I would be doing heroin, probably, on a daily basis.
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JOEL SALATIN We control health and pathogenicity by complex multi-speciated relationships through symbiosis and s...
JOEL SALATIN It's very cliched to go, 'You're not punk.' We don't care if we are, and we don&...
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JOEL OSTEEN Beanie and Cecil was the first cartoon I remember watching and I think there are analogies.
JOEL HODGSON It's a funny thing because you look at the careers of other filmmakers, and you see them sort of...
JOEL COEN Why do musicians give so much time to charitable causes? The most humanitarian cause that we can giv...
BILLY JOEL Don't forget: cruciferous vegetables must be chopped, crushed, or chewed well for maximum benefi...
JOEL FUHRMAN Omega-3 fatty acids are essential nutrients that we must get from our diets because our bodies canno...
JOEL FUHRMAN Have you listened to the radio lately? Have you heard the canned, frozen and processed product being...
BILLY JOEL You love all your characters, even the ridiculous ones. You have to on some level; they're your ...
JOEL COEN I've crashed my car three times.
BILLY JOEL It's so hard and impossible to shoot in L.A. The costs are astronomical.
JOEL SILVER If one dream dies, dream another dream. If you get knocked down, get back up and go again.
JOEL OSTEEN I think, often with Australian films, if an Australian film has been given the seal of approval by a...
JOEL EDGERTON I always kind of aim with the action stuff to make it feel like, as an audience member, you're e...
JOEL EDGERTON No civilization on the brink of collapse has ever changed fast enough to avert collapse.
JOEL SALATIN Any of us can be happy and have a good attitude when everything is going our way. But I believe it&#...
JOEL OSTEEN I learned a great lesson early on, even before I was really an actor, from that movie 'Planes, T...
JOEL EDGERTON Chemicals are not currently tested for their endocrine disruption potential before they are approved...
JOEL FUHRMAN Well, I haven't really been able to shoot in California for a while. Little movies yeah, but the...
JOEL SILVER I came out of high school, where my heroes were, like, Michael Jordan and a lot of local rugby playe...
JOEL EDGERTON Encouragement to others is something everyone can give. Somebody needs what you have to give. It may...
JOEL OSTEEN My parents are apolitical - no bumper stickers, no yard signs. They don't talk about politics.
JOEL BURNS Southeast Asia food uses many different types of spices which are quite new to me, like the curry le...
JOEL ROBUCHON It doesn't matter who likes you or doesn't like you, all that matters is that God likes you....
JOEL OSTEEN When I was 13, I entered the seminary in the hope of becoming a priest. But I often found myself hel...
JOEL ROBUCHON