I don't know how to describe it, but the more I stare at him, the more I see his grief wrapped around him like shackles he can never take off.

..because never in my life have I ever been picked when there was another alternative.

I will be stronger than my sadness.

He was fucking sad. That's it. That's the point. He knows life is never going to get any different for him. That there's no fixing him. It's always going to be the same monotonous depressing bullshit. Boring, sad, boring, sad. He just wants it to be over.

I wonder if that's how darkness wins, by convincing us to trap it inside ourselves, instead of emptying it out.
I don't want it to win.

Maybe we all have darkness inside of us and some of us are better at dealing with it than others.