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I gave it a try, but I didn't do very well. Most people don't on their first one. I carved a mallard; at least, it was supposed to be a mallard.


Bruce Divaccaro

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BRUCE BABBIT I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ...
BRUCE STERLING All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without diseas...
LENNY BRUCE The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
LENNY BRUCE No sex, age, or condition is above or below the absolute necessity of modesty; but without it one va...
BRUCE BARTON Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity tha...
BRUCE BARTON As a profession advertising is young; as a force it is as old as the world. The first four words eve...
BRUCE BARTON What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will no...
BRUCE BARTON Before you give up hope, turn back and read the attacks that were made on Lincoln.
BRUCE BARTON The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.
LENNY BRUCE In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls.
LENNY BRUCE The ablest men in all walks of modern life are men of faith. Most of them have much more faith than ...
BRUCE BARTON We pay just as dearly for our triumphs as we do for our defeats. Go ahead and fail. But fail with wi...
BRUCE BARTON A lot of people say to me, Why did you kill Christ? I dunno... it was one of those parties, got out ...
LENNY BRUCE In every pang that rends the heart the Man of Sorrows has a part.
MICHAEL BRUCE When you're through changing, you're through.
BRUCE BARTON If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric...
LENNY BRUCE Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them...
BRUCE BARTON The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity -- an overwhelming faith in the...
BRUCE BARTON Advertising is the very essence of democracy.
BRUCE BARTON Such is an actor's life. We must ride the waves of every film, barfing occasionally, yet maintain ou...
BRUCE CAMPBELL Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick.
BRUCE LEE Communism is like one big phone company.
LENNY BRUCE For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time you open your mouth you let men...
BRUCE BURTON Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did a...
LENNY BRUCE The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can
LENNY BRUCE America has the longest prison sentences in the West, yet the only condition long sentences demonstr...
BRUCE JACKSON Too many children in foster care are falling through cracks. . . . Be a hero -- take the time learn ...
BRUCE WILLIS Conceit is God's gift to little men
BRUCE BARTON In every pang that rends the heart The Man of Sorrows had a part.
MICHAEL BRUCE Now a Jew, in the dictionary, is one who is descended from the ancient tribes of Judea, or one who i...
LENNY BRUCE The thing with Catholicism, the same as all religions, is that it teaches what should be, which seem...
LENNY BRUCE