I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life.

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'

I hate the word housewife; I don't like the word home-maker either. I want to be called Domestic Goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, "Sorry, we're open."

I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny. And I discovered a lot of great writers that went on to do a lot of great shows like 'Seinfeld,' 'Friends,' you know, 'Three and a Half Men.'