I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't.

I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.

To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I just have a relationship with my imagination. It's like my friend, almost.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.