I just moved into the world of Xbox Live. And I've discovered that everyone on the Internet is a lot better than me. I spent half an hour the other day designing a boxer, and I got knocked out twice in the first round.

We got knocked out early -- first round.

People tell me I look mournful. They say, 'Cheer up, Dan, it's not that bad!' Sometimes I just look into space, which freaks people out. If I was ever required to do anything other than look haunted, I could. I'm a happy person.

I know me, and I know that I'm not somebody that particularly merits a lot of screaming and shouting. And there's nothing special about me as opposed to hundreds of thousands of other people everywhere.

The thought of dancing scared me. A lot. Because I have absolutely no aptitude for it.

For ages, in my lunch hours, I would just go round and choreograph fight scenes. For fun. So now I'm very good at being thrown around. I bounce, in the words of my friends.