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I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief spends less than she does.


Joe Garagiola

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I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief ...
JOE GARAGIOLA I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief sp...
JOE GARAGIOLA One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
ANONYMOUS I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending les...
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KIM CATTRALL I hoped that, you know, France wouldn't mind about, you know, the wife of their president to hav...
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JOE ARPAIO My wife thinks she's better than me at puzzles. I haven't given in on that one yet.
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BILLY EVANS I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I n...
RITA RUDNER I was a baseball guy. Mom wouldn't let me play football when I was little because she was scared...
CALVIN JOHNSON I could give you a long list of things I like about Britain, but essentially what it comes down to i...
BILL BRYSON If I didn't want to work for a couple of years, I wouldn't have to-it's a great feeling,...
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CAROLYN KIZER Rapunzel is a bit more relatable than the other princesses, especially because she doesn't even ...
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MATT KEMP It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
JUDE WATSON It's very difficult to get your ideas to Hollywood if you're the average Joe or Jane. An age...
BRUCE NASH Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime in...
BILL VAUGHAN A woman should say: 'Have I made him happy? Is he satisfied? Does he love me more than he loved ...
BARBARA CARTLAND I suppose it's a sentimental thing, but I wouldn't want to do more 'Lewis' than we d...
KEVIN WHATELY My sister is my little star, and I'm excited for her and proud of her. With her, I'm protect...
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LATA MANGESHKAR People that I care about, that I consider being friends of mine, most of the things I discuss with t...
COMMON I wouldn't say I'm a feminist, but I don't like girls pretending to be stupid because it...
AMY WINEHOUSE We were raised without movies, theater or music. We had only nature, the hills, the trees. When I go...
EMMANUELLE BEART My music wouldn't sound the way it does if I hadn't had the experience of conducting.
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JASON ALDEAN People are paralyzed on a football field. People die. You just never know when it's going to be ...
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JANE MARCH I've had something sort of like angel cards where you pull out an angel card that turns out, lik...
SARAH SNOOK Shirley Maclaine once said that she didn't want to be a big star, just a long star. That's w...
JOYCE DEWITT I'm not going to name some of my colleagues who are very well-known for their television present...
BOB WOODWARD You don't stop thinking about women just because your wife dies. It's terrible, but you know...
IAN MCLAGAN It's different, it's weird to say, 'She's a white rapper or she can't do this be...
IGGY AZALEA I have Marvin Gaye's driver's license. His wife sent it to me, because she really loved my &...
R. KELLY If I hadn't read all of Jane Austen and DH Lawrence, Tolstoy and Proust, as well as the more fun...
SEBASTIAN FAULKS You want to know why Barbra Streisand is so difficult? Because she's brilliant. She's a bril...
JERRY LEWIS I'm a rock star because I couldn't be a soccer star.
ROD STEWART I had a client who was a professional baseball player once, and he would go to clubs and dance for s...
MARTHA BECK I know if I was a woman I wouldn't want to be a member of an organization that's mostly men.
BILL OWEN Look at someone like Ke$ha. I wouldn't say she's got the most rangy, incredible voice, but s...
KARA DIOGUARDI I don't know what a person does that does not have a relationship with God. When he goes to the ...
SI ROBERTSON I don't like the word 'rock star' or 'super star.' I am a guitar player, a songw...
RANDY BACHMAN I couldn't think of anything less appealing than molding the minds of tomorrow's leaders.
AL FRANKEN Joe Frazier got hit more than me - and he doesn't have Parkinson's.
MUHAMMAD ALI I can tell you that you will have your hearts broken more by the people you love than by the people ...
MARGARET PETERSON HADDIX I didn't make 'The Sixth Sense' because I thought the ending wouldn't work!
AMY PASCAL I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife.
TONY CURTIS Being on the run wasn't fun, but it was something I had to do. I was actually working in legitim...
KEVIN MITNICK Let me start with a confession: I don't enjoy cooking. The reason I usually do it at home is not...
MARK BARROWCLIFFE Playing college soccer was going to be the top of my athletic feats. I wasn't going to the Olymp...
MARK ZUPAN I don't know a single collector or museum director who says: 'Oh, he's on a list, so I t...
OLAFUR ELIASSON

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JOE NICHOLS Now, if you're Al Gore, you can afford $10 a pop for squiggly-pig-tailed fluorescent light bulbs...
JOE BARTON Ever since John Kennedy, Democrats have had a weakness for dashing younger men like Bill Clinton and...
JOE KLEIN Presumptuous for me to say, but at least - at a minimum - I've been able to influence the direct...
JOE BIDEN I grew up watching Letterman, 'Seinfeld,' 'SNL,' and Monty Python movies. But nothin...
JOE MANDE After I hurt the knee, football wasn't nearly as much fun. I was limited. But you make do with w...
JOE NAMATH The promise of education reform can never be fulfilled without adequate funding, and by shortchangin...
JOE LIEBERMAN There's good art and there's bad art. A lot of action films are bad art, but Paul Greengrass...
JOE WRIGHT Maybe you could put it out there that I don't have a built-in dislike of ballads. That was kind ...
JOE PERRY The feeling of being accepted and acknowledgement and recognition and fame - I'm vain like every...
JOE JAMAIL Our workers comp debt is the Achilles heel of our state's economy, and I firmly believe that in ...
JOE MANCHIN Most liberals think of civil liberties as their Achilles heel. It isn't.
JOE BIDEN When we go to court, they are going to have to come up with all the evidence where they are accusing...
JOE ARPAIO One of the things I've never been accused of is not caring about people.
JOE BIDEN Don't hold against me that I don't own - that I don't own a single stock or bond. Don...
JOE BIDEN The issue in Web accessibility is the fact that blind and visually-impaired people need the single b...
JOE CLARK Head Start graduates are more likely to graduate from high school and less likely to need special ed...
JOE BACA The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while thes...
JOE ROGAN