I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

It’s a secret, religious, weird, ceremonial rite of passage for girls that women know. Hopscotch, it was bizarre for boys, ‘cause they never played it, and as a boy, I was behind walls, going, “What- what happened? What did they do? What do they do here?” And they had a track laid out with numbers, mystic numbers- 1, 5… 7, 8, you know… A bit of a broken doll there, some girl keeping lookout with a skipping rope…

I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.

Ernie always had a cigar and a cup of coffee,

I didn't have a cup of coffee until I was 27.

I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.