I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.

Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh.

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.