I must confess, I was born at a very early age.


Groucho Marx

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I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
DOUG HORTON
Like I said on my bio on my webpage, I was born at an early age, I was close to my mother.
PETER JURASIK
I learned at an early age that I was given something special when I was born, and that was the gift ...
RANDY BACHMAN
I was born in the Bronx, and then my father moved us to the country at an early age.
ABEL FERRARA
Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX
The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
I was just born involved in politics. My family is conservative Mormon, and so I was born - although...
KYRSTEN SINEMA
I was born in Bournemouth, England, in 1943.
J. PHILIPPE RUSHTON
I was born in a blender.
LORNA LUFT
I was born 'neath a clouded star.
JULIA WARD HOWE
I wasn't born a redhead, but I was born to be a redhead.
GEORGETTE MOSBACHER
I was born to be funny.
BUDDY HACKETT
I was born in Palo Alto, California in 1961.
ERIC ALLIN CORNELL
I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE
The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH
I was always made to work at a very early age. I finished school at 4 P.M. and by 5 P.M. I was worki...
ALBERT GUBAY
It was very important to me, because I learned how to play onstage at an early age.
ALEXANDRE BOUZLOV
I was born to hit a baseball. I can hit a baseball.
BARRY BONDS
I am not afraid... I was born to do this.
JOAN OF ARC
Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER
I didn't have a normal background - I was completely demented from a very early age!
BILL PAXTON
I was born in August, no July, 1908.
SATCHEL PAIGE
I was born in the technology era.
MALUMA
I was born with an evil face.
BARRY SLOANE
I was born in 1953, so that's the Eisenhower administration.
LINCOLN CHAFEE
By ancestry, I was born to rule.
NELSON MANDELA
I was born in Homestead, Florida.
CHRISSY METZ
I was born and raised in Honolulu, Hawaii.
STEVE CASE
I was born in a slum, but the slum wasn't born in me.
JESSE JACKSON
I was born into a family of preachers.
DAVID SOUL
Leadership is something I was born with.
CARMELO ANTHONY
I was born at the age of twelve on a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer lot.
JUDY GARLAND
I was born at the age of twelve on a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer lot.
EDWARD KOCH
I was always in trouble from an early age. I had a fraught relationship with my parents, who were ve...
NAVEEN ANDREWS
As a child, I was very active. I was a gymnast, I played touch football, netball and basketball. Whe...
MIRANDA KERR
It was always easy for me. I was born very rich and lucky.
YAHOO SERIOUS
I was born at the age of twelve on an MGM lot.
JUDY GARLAND
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE
I love people. I was born loving people.
BETSY PALMER
Am I 53 or 54? I think I'm 54. I was born in 1941. So this year I'll be 55.
CHARLES KEATING
From a very early age, I wanted to fly aeroplanes.
DAVID MACKAY
I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
WILSON MIZNER
I was born as a soldier and will die as one.
MUSTAFA KEMAL ATATURK
I was born and bred to be a great flirt.
CYBILL SHEPHERD
I was born with a fierce need for independence.
MICHELLE WILLIAMS
I was born to travel and write verse.
THEOPHILE GAUTIER
As I was born to be unfortunate, my sun soon clouded.
DEBORAH SAMPSON
Beirut is where I was born and raised.
REEM ACRA
I vehemently deny that I was born a cynic and a pessimist.
J. PAUL GETTY
I'm sorry, but I was born with a towel on my head.
CHARLES OLSON
My mom says I was born screaming.
ELLE KING
I was born in Iowa City and spent my early childhood on a hippie commune just outside of town.
CHELSEA CAIN
My father was from the South and turned me into a news junkie at a very early age. I would sit and w...
KAREN BASS
I loved anything to do with animals from a very early age.
EDITH WIDDER
I was inadvertently raised in the 'gay community.' I had straight parents, but I spent massi...
DARREN CRISS
I really believe I'm no different from anyone else. I just had a few challenges I had to learn f...
DAVE PELZER
I actually did start performing at a young age and yes, I did do stand-up when I was 9. I did seem t...
JOSH CHARLES
I wanted to be a forest ranger or a coal man. At a very early age, I knew I didn't want to do wh...
HARRISON FORD
I've always been conservative. I was born that way.
RALPH HALL
I don't think I was born beautiful. I just think I was born me.
NAOMI CAMPBELL
I was born in Sweden, and in Sweden we are known for the piracy services.
DANIEL EK
I was born in March 1949, a post war baby boomer.
JON ENGLISH
I was born and raised in Lancaster, Pennsylvania - in Amish Country!
JONATHAN GROFF
I was born into the world as the king of truth for the salvation of the world.
BUDDHA
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I'm half-Irish, half-Dutch, and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog, I'd be in a hell of a...
AUDREY HEPBURN
I was born in and worked in a period that could be called enviable.
TONY CURTIS
I was born in America, but I consider myself a Filipino.
JESSICA SANCHEZ
I was born to play baseball.
ROBERTO CLEMENTE
I was born in Messina, Sicily. I stayed there until I was 18 and finished my studies.
MARIA GRAZIA CUCINOTTA
I was born in India - but never really lived there.
AASIF MANDVI
I was born in France. I grew up in Africa.
BENJAMIN MILLEPIED
I was born in Chicago and grew up in the suburb of Evanston.
DOUGLAS WOOD
I was born a character actor.
CHARLES DURNING
They bloom early. They seem to be blooming at a very young age.
BOYD MOFFETT
I learned at a very early age that life is a battle. My family was poor, my neighborhood was poor. T...
SUSAN HAYWARD
I was born in Nizhny Novgorod to a very poor family and unfortunately my father and mother separated...
NATALIA VODIANOVA
I was interested in transcendence from a very early age. I was interested in what was over there, wh...
ANSELM KIEFER
I was definitely surrounded by music and fashion at a very, very young age.
HARLEY VIERA-NEWTON
I was taught from a very early age that I had to work twice as hard to get half as much. That was th...
LARRY WILMORE
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX
Young man, the secret of my success is that at early age I discovered that I was not God.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES, JR.
I was born in Fayette County, over in Lexington, Kentucky, but I was raised most of my life in Paint...
CHRIS STAPLETON
He was definitely ahead of his age, way ahead of his age. He was a very driven young man at an early...
DAVE LUNDEY
My childhood in Arlington, Va., a middle class suburb of Washington, was uneventful. Ours was a very...
DAVID GROSS
I think there was a seed planted at an early age. I think children have a hard time comprehending wh...
DON WHITNEY
Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys l...
CASEY (CHARLES DILLON) STENGEL
Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys l...
CASEY STENGEL
I'll simply say here that I was born Beatrice Gladys Lillie at an extremely tender age because my mo...
BEATRICE LILLIE
I was a 'kid' kid. Even though I experimented with performing at an early age my parents never thoug...
SHELLEY LONG
I was born during an eclipse. I believe very much in astrology. If you were born on an eclipse it in...
GLORIA VANDERBILT
I have an English literature degree. I wanted to be the next great American novelist from a very ear...
DANIEL SUAREZ
I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
GROUCHO MARX
I was born the same week NASA was founded, so we're the same age and feel some of the same pains...
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX
How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX
I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX
Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
[When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX
I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX
If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX
Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX
And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX
Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX
I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX
I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX